A Doonesbury Special

[first lines]

Mike Doonesbury:
[Zonker is submerged under Walden Puddle] Zonker! Zonker!

Zonker Harris:
[underwater] Steady, lads, steady...

Mike Doonesbury:
Zonker!

Zonker Harris:
Fire! [a miniature trident shot from underwater pins a falling leaf to a tree]

Mike Doonesbury:
Zonker!

Zonker Harris:
[his head comes out of the water] What?

Mike Doonesbury:
Dinner's in ten minutes.

Zonker Harris:
So?

Mike Doonesbury:
We'd prefer you dry.

Mike Doonesbury:
[B.D. is ranting about Vietnam] Why isn't he watching the game?

Barbara Ann "Boopsie" Boopstein:
His favorite halfback was killed.

Joanie Caucus:
I think I know something of the necessity of change. My life hasn't exactly been devoid of rage either.

Mike Doonesbury:
You mean your old man back in Denver?

Joanie Caucus:
Uh-huh, but I stopped fighting it.

[remembering]

Joanie Caucus:
My last batch of perfect french fries was delivered to the dinner table July 21st, 1972.

Mike Doonesbury:
[smiles] You still make the best.

Joanie Caucus:
Yes, but not in Denver.

Mark Slackmeyer:
[everybody's making fun of Mike's cooking] Joanie...

Joanie Caucus:
Yes?

Mark Slackmeyer:
This is really your responsibility.

Joanie Caucus:
Mine?

Mark Slackmeyer:
You *know* Mike needs supervision when he walks into that kitchen.

Joanie Caucus:
I know and I'm sorry... I left the room for a second and then everything fell apart.

Joanie Caucus:
[talking about her work at the day care] Mike, it's a whole new generation of hearts and minds out there, and that challenge goes a long way in justifying the earlier pain. I mean... [the scene shifts from the kitchen to the day care] it's the same struggle getting through the day, taking care of the kids... yes, yes and, and feeding them and, uh, picking up after them and stopping their fights. [she laughs] Yes... but I'm getting paid for it!

Ellie:
How much?

Joanie Caucus:
Not enough, honey.

[last lines]

Zonker Harris:
[he's back under Walden Puddle] What happened to everyone? Ah, nothing special. Just... caring in different ways. [a leaf falls towards the water, blown by the wind] Feeling the present as it moves by. Things gotta change, right? [his head emerges and he watches the falling leaves, laughing] And the trees agree! [pause, then] Good going, trees. [he slowly submerges, waving to the trees and the falling leaves]

Mark Slackmeyer:
[Zonker has just announced his conclusion that the commune is passe] Where will I go? Who will I be? What'll I eat?

Zonker Harris:
Those are heads-up questions, Mark, because unless you're from Vermont the commune is finito.

Joanie Caucus:
[Ellie is waiting for her outside the commune] Mike, go out and entertain the wave of the future, will you?

Ellie:
[to Mike, talking about Joanie] How come you got her doing the dishes, Mike?

Mike Doonesbury:
It's her turn, Ellie. She'll be out in a minute.

Ellie:
Oh. I didn't mean to be strident or anything.

Mike Doonesbury:
That's okay. I've been there.

Ellie:
During the revolution?

Mike Doonesbury:
[laughing] The revolution? What would *you* know about the revolution?

Ellie:
Well, it was against what's-his-name... Nixon, and it was fun and usually held outdoors.

Mike Doonesbury:
Ellie, it was a little more complicated than that.

[pause, then]

Mike Doonesbury:
We're all still trying to figure it out.

Ellie:
Even as we speak?

Mike Doonesbury:
Even as we speak.