Almost Human

Rudy Lom:
Chewing gum? Really? Would you fix a race car with chewing gum?

Detective John Kennex:
Uh, yeah, if it was busted and I needed to win a race.

Dorian:
I said magenta.

Detective John Kennex:
It was magenta!

Dorian:
I said magenta. That was lavender.

Detective John Kennex:
The hell's magenta? There's 50 shades of purple in there!

Dorian:
Did you just hang up on Captain Maldonado?

Detective John Kennex:
Yeah. Boring conversation anyway.

Dorian:
I just love that you wear your insubordination like it's a virtue.

Detective John Kennex:
Let's go get some noodles.

Dorian:
You are aware that I don't eat.

Detective John Kennex:
Perfect. I'm buying. Let's roll.

Dorian:
You know what I love best about you? Your punctuality.

Detective John Kennex:
What's that supposed to mean?

Dorian:
You're late. And the car smells like olive oil.

Dorian:
My Dynamic Voltage Scaling has been damaged by the bullet.

Detective John Kennex:
You want to say that a little less complicated?

Dorian:
I won't be able to walk in five minutes.

MX-43 '1':
You have five minutes to complete the ignitor.

Rudy Lom:
You can't rush perfection.

MX-43 '1':
[Beat] You have four minutes and forty-five seconds to complete the ignitor.

Detective John Kennex:
Dorian, you've been shot, your head's full of bubblegum... you can't do this alone.

Henry Mills:
Just because something is used, doesn't mean it has no value.

Dorian:
When I was decommissioned, the second before it happened I just kept thinking 'I really hope there's someone there to wake me up again.' I just want to be a cop, man. I just want to be here. And then you woke me up. It was you. You were that person for me, John.

Detective John Kennex:
Well, we all make mistakes.

Dorian:
[to John] Keep banging on it, Caveman. That'll make it work.

Dorian:
[about John] He's grumpy on the outside, morose and malcontent on the inside.

Dorian:
Some went so far as to call us crazy.

Detective John Kennex:
Still holding on to that one, huh?

McGinnis:
If I get any heat for this, I'm saying you threatened me.

Detective John Kennex:
You're in luck. They'll believe that.

Captain Sandra Maldonado:
[Reading] 'Kennex should return to duty never.'

Detective John Kennex:
Never? Well that's a long time.

Detective John Kennex:
I'm required to ride with a synthetic.

Dorian:
I'm not a huge fan of that term.

Dorian:
Sometimes newer technology isn't always better.

Detective John Kennex:
[to Dorian] Hey, who's a happy toaster?

Yuri Idrizi:
We got a great selection here. We can get you pretty close to this one. Our bots have passed all the required tests. Special rates for cops. We love cops.

Detective John Kennex:
Yeah.

Andrei:
We love cops.

Detective John Kennex:
Well, great. If you answer all my questions, maybe I'll let you get to first base.

Dorian:
I ran a bio scan, and it looked like your testicles at full capacity.

Detective John Kennex:
You're scanning my balls?

Dorian:
I didn't enjoy it, I just...

Detective John Kennex:
Oh, my God, this is unbelievable.

Dorian:
I can't help but notice you're backed up.

Detective John Kennex:
What is the matter with you? Don't scan my testicles ever again.

Dorian:
Copy that.

Dorian:
What do you tell a small child when someone dies? I've never considered that what you would tell a small child.

Detective John Kennex:
Well, you say the same thing that you'd say to an adult.

Dorian:
What do they say?

Detective John Kennex:
You tell them that the person that died has gone to a better place.

Dorian:
Why would anyone say that when there's no way to really know where living things go when they stop living?

Detective John Kennex:
It's designed to give hope and comfort. To ease the pain. People believe it because they need to.

Dorian:
Hmm, the data I've studied suggests the best proof of one's assistance is if one is remembered after they're gone.

Dorian:
Looking at that bot on Rudy's table makes me think who is going to remember me?

Dorian:
[to John] I haven't even been a child and I know that would scare one. What's the matter with you, man?

Detective John Kennex:
I like smart women. Women who are smarter than me.

Dorian:
That shouldn't be too hard.

Dorian:
His vitals suggest he is lying.

Detective John Kennex:
Yep.

Dorian:
Or, he doesn't like you very much.

Detective John Kennex:
Add him to the list with kids and cats.

Dorian:
I'm not the one with the online dating profile.

Detective John Kennex:
I don't have an online dating profile.

Dorian:
You do now.

Dorian:
[Dorian gives to Kennex a leg-shapped gift] Open it!

Detective John Kennex:
[Kennex turns it around and looks at it] Wow. I wonder what it is.

Dorian:
It's a leg.

Dorian:
That is the nicest thing that anyone has ever said about me, John. [Dorian's expression shows that he is deeply moved/about to cry]

Detective John Kennex:
Dude... don't... please... don't do that!

Dorian:
I was made to feel, John!

Captain Sandra Maldonado:
You can't cook ramen.

Detective John Kennex:
Hey, I can cook ramen! Okay, I can order ramen.

Detective John Kennex:
There are a few rules.

Rudy Lom:
Such as...

Detective John Kennex:
First of all, you gotta promise me not to embarrass me, okay? Second of all, don't talk about your test tubes.

Rudy Lom:
Is that a euphemism? [Sees John's face] No. Is there a third rule?

Detective John Kennex:
Yeah, pretend we just met.

Rudy Lom:
It's about passion. Passion in your work. It's science, yes, but it's also an art. Ingredients are ingredients, but if you go quiet and you just listen, they start to talk back to you and they tell you what they need and the whole becomes greater than the sum of the parts... if you approach your work with reverence and pour your very soul into it, it starts to get a life of its own, and dare I say, you can grow very fond of that creation.

Captain Alexio Barros:
...Are you making the drugs, or just taking them!

Detective John Kennex:
Let me explain something to you. I'm a police officer. You're a police officer. And as much as it pains me to say it, Richard is a police officer. Now, you can dress these machines to look like cops. You can program 'em to drive a car and shoot a gun like a cop. But they're not cops. They're bullet catchers. And if you force me to work with a faulty machine, then I will dispose of it with the same degree of compassion that I would a toaster that burns my toast.

Captain Sandra Maldonado:
John, I don't know what to do with you.

Detective Richard Paul:
I can give you a list of things what I'd do with him.

Captain Sandra Maldonado:
Richard, let me handle this.

Detective Richard Paul:
[to Kennex] You better watch your ass. Your partner better watch his ass, too.

Captain Sandra Maldonado:
Richard, go down and find yourself another MX. We've got a problem here, John.

Detective John Kennex:
Yeah, I agree. I mean, what do you think he wants to do with my ass?

Dorian:
You like me.

Detective John Kennex:
Sorry?

Dorian:
You like me.

Detective John Kennex:
No, I don't.

Dorian:
Yes, you do.

Detective John Kennex:
No.

Dorian:
You definitely do.

Detective John Kennex:
How do you come by that conclusion?

Dorian:
The MX. You shot it. You shot it because it insulted me. You like me.

Detective John Kennex:
No. I shot the MX because it wouldn't shut up.

Dorian:
Nope. You shot it because you like me.

Detective John Kennex:
Keep talking, I'll prove my point.

Dorian:
It's okay, John. I like you, too.

Detective John Kennex:
Please make him stop.

Rudy Lom:
It's a Korean pop song. I find it catchy and soothing.

Detective John Kennex:
Rudy, if you don't do something about this, I'll shoot him, too.