Dawson's Creek, Season 6

Joey:
What are you doing?

Dawson:
I was gonna ask you to dance.

Joey:
Are you crazy?

Dawson:
Yeah, but the offer still stands.

Joey:
Hold on a second please. That's the best you can do for your childhood hero?

Pacey:
I don't know how strict we'll have to be about that sleep thing.

Drunk Guy:
What are you looking at?

Joey:
Drunk guy with his fly open. What are you looking at?

Drunk Guy:
Are you getting smart with me?

Emma:
I'm afraid that's unavoidable.

Joey:
You break her heart, I'll break your face.

Dawson:
Every good thing that's happened in my life I've essentially managed to talk out of existence. I'm not going to do that this time.

Audrey:
Oh, my god! You're still there, like a vegetable.

Joey:
Writing a good e-mail is hard.

Audrey:
Yes, especially when it is a huge mistake.

Joey:
Shut up.

Audrey:
Joey, I am serious. E-mail expression is the scourge of the modern age. The Internet has made it way too easy to express oneself. Ok, you have some fleeting thought. You send it. It lands with a thud in some unsuspecting person's mailbox. Said person then reads it, gets irked because you've recapped a conversation that you presumably already had. They fail to respond. You feel slighted. But if you must be one of these pathetic passive/aggressive e-mail types, far be it from me to stop you. What do you have so far?

Joey:
Well... I had "Dear Dawson," and then I erased it.

Audrey:
Why? I think that's a nice start.

Joey:
I seemed cold.

Audrey:
True. I mean, you did just nude-up with the guy. Oh, I'm sorry, or did you guys do it through a hole in a sheet because that's very Dawson and Joey to me.

Joey:
Again, shut up.

Audrey:
Sorry. Ok, so what do you want to say?

Joey:
I don't know. I mean, I don't like the way things ended, and I want him to know that I care, but I also want to hold on to my righteous indignation.

Audrey:
Obviously. Well, why don't you just pick up the phone and call him?

Joey:
I'm afraid we'll just fall right back into our old patterns. Trust me. E-mail is a far safer alternative at the moment.

Audrey:
Ok, if you must do this, then I say that you go for it. You know, be gooey and be embarrassing, but most of all, just be real, Joey. Say all of the things that you can't say to his face, the whole nine.

Joey:
You're right. I better get to work. But...thank you, Audrey.

Audrey:
No problem, sister Christian.

Rich:
Witter!

Pacey:
Rinaldi.

Rich:
That's "sir" until you buy me flowers, Witter. Where have you been?

Pacey:
I'm really sorry. I was just under the impression that I wasn't supposed to be here until 9:00.

Rich:
Ahh, "supposed to." Well, that's cute. Are you supposed to dress yourself, or does your mommy actually want you to look like a pansy? Look around. You see these guys? Apparently, these gentlemen are free thinkers. Since you've yet to grow a pair, you get stuck with these. [Hands him a stack of folders]

Pacey:
And what's all this?

Rich:
That is a collection of about 30 cold days in hell: Rich guys sittin' on piles of money so high that their daughters eloped and sold their own babies on the black market just to put ramen on the table. We have never been able to sell them stock, and they will certainly never buy it from the tardy likes of you. You better get on the phone. We work on commission here. And the guys on your list don't know how dreamy you are, so I would work that blue collar charm full-throttle. Stop battin' your eyes at me.

Pacey:
Is this some sort of punishment?

Rich:
I'm just tryin' to get you to leave. I don't have enough desks.

Hetson:
Ok, kiddies, knock back your Ritalin and settle down. You may recall, we were wrapping up a rather depraved discussion of Portnoy's Complaint last week. Sadly, we won't be dabbling in Roth's stream-of-consciousness sexual rivers much longer, but fate assigned us some additional reading last night via e-mail. I think you all got a copy, so why not? Let's discuss something you actually might've read. "Dear Dawson, I don't know where to begin."

Joey:
Uh, professor Heston-

Hetson:
Nobody likes a show-off, Potter. You don't reach a point for several paragraphs, so I'll skip ahead. "In the moment when we touched, maybe we went somewhere else that rose above all this, but then we landed, and I think maybe we crashed." [Class laughs] Why, when broaching the topic of sex, do so many writers try to write themselves out of it? Sexuality and all its dysfunctions are intrinsic to the human experience, maybe the one thing we can all relate to at the end of the day-- well, neurosis and the god thing aside. And the reason that Roth seduced us and Miss Morning After here didn't is that while Roth isn't afraid to get his hands quite literally dirty with rapid-fire sensual description, our e-mail author here distances herself from the act with vague metaphors. Can't be stream of consciousness if you're observing from the shores... right?

Joey:
You know, maybe-- and this is just a shot in the dark-- she didn't mean to send it to the gossips at large. Maybe she's just trying to get some private closure, never dreamed she'd be subjected to the Oprah psychobabble of her life-lacking peers. Now, do you guys want something to eat, or should I just bring over a nice tray of bon-bons so you guys can hunker down and watch your stories?

Jen:
Boston Bay is not a party school, Audrey.

Audrey:
Spare me your lies, Jen. I am not going back to my evil den of higher learning. This is clearly where it's at.

Jack:
Hey, the midday keggers get a little old after a few semesters, trust me. I tell you what, I'm gonna meet you guys in there. I'm gonna go talk to Professor Freeman.

Jen:
Don't you think that's a tad Tracey Flick? He doesn't know who you are.

Jack:
Sure he does. I've raised my hand and talked in class a lot of times. He's noticed. He has.

Jen:
All right... swimfan. Somebody has got to talk to that boy about his love of the straights.

Audrey:
Whatever. It's totally hot.

Hetson:
Oh, it's so nice to see you, Potter. Hope our pesky class didn't interfere with your all-important e-mail schedule. Whip out another diatribe last night?

Joey:
Actually, I did. I was hoping this was it. Did you guys not get it?

Hetson:
Oh, this is actually a copy of the article that I assigned to follow up the reading. I know your mini-drama probably prevented you from even looking at the syllabus.

Joey:
Well, most of yesterday consisted of eviscerating my personal life, and every other lesson is a rant composed of your dated theories. I'm sorry I'm late, professor Heston, but the first half of class is usually when you reveal how bitter you are, how moronic we are, and how literature is dead. Were you thinking of moving on to something slightly more stimulating today?

Hetson:
Well, I-- I think we've been spending too much time together, Potter, if that's your attitude. I mean, I was thinking of teaching today, but I don't know if I've got a lot to offer, what with the tenure and the published articles and all. But if you all insist on being stimulated, why don't we discuss James Joyce's description of the girl on the beach. I mean, I'm too hackneyed to illuminate the subject, but maybe you can shed some light.

Jen:
So, you're coming, right? I mean, if the band can overcome their complicated romantic entanglements and still be friends, the least that we can do is all get along for one night.

Audrey:
All right, I am willing to grant that there is a certain karmic appropriateness to seeing one's ex-boyfriend for the first time at a No Doubt concert.

Jen:
You're bending.

Audrey:
I'm not bending.

Jen:
Oh, come on, you know you want to. Empowered female. Incredible fashion sense.

Audrey:
I suppose mojo Jojo will be attending.

Jen:
Oh, come on, if you can-- if you can be with her in that tiny little dorm room of yours, you're going to be just fine in a crowd of 14,000 strangers.

Audrey:
So she's bringing that guy, right?

Jen:
Mm-hmm, but we don't have to sit next to them. We're using the gays as a barrier between the breeders and the bitter, single girls.

Jen:
You're not going to regret this, I swear. You're here, you're not in a suit. This is good. This is very, very good. Where is everybody else?

Pacey:
They're at the concession stand. Jack and Emma, and, uh... the guy and the guy's friend.

Jen:
Yeah, well, his name is David, which you might want to remember. I think he's going to stick.

Pacey:
What, you posses the psychic ability to see into the future of relationships now?

Jen:
Yes, just not my own.

Pacey:
Hey. I did call you, you know.

Audrey:
I know. At least I figured that I shouldn't talk to you until I hated you a little less.

Pacey:
Oh, well... how's that going for you?

Audrey:
It's going, yeah. The problem is now I kind of hate myself, but, uh...

Pacey:
Audrey, can we go talk a walk? Maybe talk someplace that's a little quieter and slightly more private before all the madness starts?

Audrey:
[Chuckles] You really are an old man, aren't you?

Jack:
So you really don't mind taking Audrey home?

David:
Well, sure, I mind, but, you know, my inner drama queen respects her refusal to come out of the bathroom till Jen and Pacey leave.

Jack:
Heh heh heh! Thanks, man. I just don't want to ditch Jen, you know. I mean, I don't think this evening turned out quite the way she planned.

David:
Hmm. Yeah. I know the feeling.

Jack:
So, we're, uh, not doing too well at this, are we?

David:
Well, the hanging out has been good. But the dating? I think it's safe to say that when two gay guys go on a date, and each ends up going home with a hot blond girl, something's definitely not working.

Jack:
Yeah.

[Dawson and Natasha are kissing outside the police station as Todd comes storming out]

Todd:
Ok, shag wits, to the car! Let's go! Chop, bloody chop! Or am I gonna have to throw cold water on you both?

Dawson:
I think he's mad.

Natasha:
Real mad.

Todd:
For the record, never let it be said that Todd Carr is a man who's not in love with being in love. I think both my movies and my life reflect my deep and abiding commitment to getting two good-looking young people together and having a bit of fun now and again. However... as leery here bloody well knows...

Dawson:
You're also a man who's in love with sleep.

Todd:
To the car. Now.

Natasha:
Are you on your period right now, Dawson?

Joey:
Audrey! Lay off.

Audrey:
What's your problem, princess? I was sticking up for Joe Dirt over there.

Pacey:
Oh, this isn't going to end well.

Audrey:
Would you shut up, Pacey?

Pacey:
You're out of line, Audrey.

Audrey:
Of course I am. Anyone messes with the one that got away and you get all up on your high horse, don't you?

Jen:
Audrey...

Audrey:
Oh, excellent, another party heard from. What's your problem, Lindley?

Jen:
I think you're the one with the problem.

Audrey:
Oh! How devilishly clever of you, Jen. [Pause] Oh, honey, are you still upset that I shagged your dream boy, because I am sorry about that.

Jen:
What are you even doing here?

Audrey:
I missed my flight, bitch! Which is really, terribly unfortunate, because if you think that spending Christmas on Walton Mountain is my idea of a good time, than you all are about as high as I am right now.

Gail:
Audrey? Why don't you go lie down?

Audrey:
Oh, you know, thanks for that Gail, really, but I think I'm kinda just getting started here. Do any of you have have any idea how hypocritical this whole little gathering is? I mean, I'd be flying high on a pleasingly potent cocktail of vodka and painkillers and thank you, by the way, Gail, for the painkillers. But I seem to be seeing things a little clearer than-than any of you. Dawson. Pacey. You guys hate each other, don't you? You're never going to-to be able to mend this little rift that exists between the two of you, so-so why do you even bother with the charade? And Dawson and Joey. [Laughs] Here you are, both of you, all grown-up and so very pleased with yourselves and each with your little significant other by your side respectively and while I will give you that it does make for a pretty picture, the truth of the matter is that you guys finally slept together and you've never really dealt with it. And neither of you are going to be able to have a relationship with anyone else till you finally just deal with your crap once and for all. And...as for you, Pacey, I'm really sorry that Audrey Hepburn next to you broke your heart all those years ago and has prevented you from ever fully committing to an adult relationship...but you know what? Just grow up.

Todd:
[to Dawson] The absolute first thing you have to remember to do when you're on set, is take a picture of Natasha's face, at the exact moment when she's introduced to her new director, cause that's something I bloody well have to see.

Professor Greg Hetson:
Is it a girl thing?

Joey:
No! It's a human being thing.

Eddie:
You're going to have anything you want in this life, Joey.

Joey:
I wanted you.

Eddie:
No! You wanted that guy you met in English class and I'm not him.

Harley:
Screw the formula. The formula can lick my lily-white ass.

Joey:
Do you kiss your father with that mouth?

Harley:
Ooh gross! Why would I kiss my father?

Joey:
Oh. I forgot. You're still not over me.

Pacey:
[chuckles] Really?

Joey:
Oh, remember? Christmas dinner from hell? That was one of Audrey's enlightened comments, you're still not over me.

Pacey:
Right. Of course.

Joey:
That must suck.

Pacey:
Oh, it does. You have no idea the hardships I go through trying to maintain a friendship with a dream girl such as yourself. You have no idea.

Joey:
Gets lonely?

Pacey:
It does. I cry myself to sleep every night, but Jack and I cuddle. That eases the pain. He's very loving. [they both laugh]

Pacey:
But I'm glad you had a good time, you deserved it. And you are a lovely and wise drunk, Miss Potter. [Pause. Then Pacey leans toward Joey] What you said earlier was right. I never did. How could I? Just look at you.

Joey:
You know what else we never did? [After a pause, Joey kisses him then lays back down on the bed.] Your turn now. [Pacey smiles and kisses her forehead]

Pacey:
Sweet Dreams, Joey.

Joey:
What the hell is happening to my butt right now?

Pacey:
That'll be the seat warmer, which comes standard on all your finer German automobiles.

Joey:
Huh. My lower half thanks you for moving so far up the socio-economic ladder.

Pacey:
Ok, let's...just... take a little time out, because you and I... we're not actually having this conversation.

Joey:
Oh, why? 'Cause you don't want to talk about sex with me?

Pacey:
Ha! Do you want to talk about sex with me?

Joey:
Well, no, but... I usually don't want to talk about sex with anybody.

Pacey:
Thank you for proving my point. Now, if we could move on, I think our night will be much, much more pleasant.

Joey:
After you tell me why you don't want to talk about sex with me.

Pacey:
All right, one would think this would be obvious, but fine. Perhaps it has something to do with how calm and cool and non-judgmental you are about the whole thing.

Joey:
Oh, you know what? I don't approve. Ok? There. I said it. And I refuse to sit here and pretend like this is all just fine, 'cause it's ridiculous.

Pacey:
Do you hear yourself? You can't help it! This is why we don't talk about sex. It's actually the secret to our entire friendship.

Joey:
You've lost me in your sea of pronouns.

Pacey:
Well, ok. We are friends. Right?

Joey:
Yes.

Pacey:
So what is the secret to our long-lasting and angst-free friendship? What is the one thing that keeps it going year after year after year after year?

Joey:
We suck at meeting new people.

Pacey:
Wrong. We do not, under any circumstance, talk about sex. I may be having it, you may be thinking about having it, but we don't discuss it. That way we avoid the awkwardness, and in avoiding the awkwardness, we are able to maintain our friendship. You see, it's a preventative measure. I solved the problem before it even starts.

Joey:
But, Pacey...if we're such good friends, why is there any awkwardness in the first place?

Pacey:
Because not too long ago, we were more than just good friends, now, weren't we?

Joey:
Yeah, but we're not anymore.

Pacey:
But that doesn't matter. The damage is already done.

Joey:
What, so as far as you're concerned, I slept with you, and then I took myself in and got revirginized?

Pacey:
In my mind? Yes.

...

Joey:
Ok, so basically what you're saying is that the only way you and I can continue being friends is if we lie to each other about our sex lives... if we take that whole giant aspect of our lives and just... pretend like it doesn't exist?

Pacey:
Worked for you and Dawson.

Pacey:
[on the televisions] Is this thing on? Ok, well...ahem. Hey...it's me... obviously. So if you could just step a little closer, and don't worry, I'm not gonna bite. I come in peace. Look...you and I... we're gonna be here for a while. For quite a while, it seems. So I think it would be best if we could come to some sort of truce. And to facilitate this truce, I'm willing to admit to you on camera that, yes, indeed, I am an ass, which you probably already know. Better than most people. And perhaps better than anyone on earth. But I digress. My proposal is this: That we leave the past in the past, which is where it belongs anyway, that we try and make the best out of this bad situation, and that we get comfortable. To wit--I bought you something. Well, I didn't really buy you something. Perhaps procured would be a better word, but...anyway, you get my point. It's down there on the counter. [She looks over and sees that he put a set of pajamas and slippers on the counter] I'm not so sure about the sizes anymore, 'cause it's been a while, but... we can always exchange it. And, if you accept my proposal, you will have at your disposal for a limited time only the ability to make me do one thing I really do not want to do. Which is not to say that you don't always have that ability, but I kinda figure that that's how this whole night from hell started. You were doing something for me that you really didn't want to do... which is what friends are for. Ok. Over and out.

Joey:
[shaving Pacey] There. Hello, chin. You're back.

Pacey:
[Chuckles] Well...I was never really gone.

Joey:
You weren't?

Pacey:
Mm-hmm.

Joey:
It kinda seemed like it.

[Pacey kisses Joey]

Joey:
What was that?

Pacey:
I don't know. But...you remember how you said you were willing to be surprised by the future?

Joey:
Yeah.

Pacey:
Surprise.

Joey:
How come you don't seemed surprised?

Pacey:
Well...maybe because I've... wanted to kiss you ever since I saw you in that outfit.

[She looks down at the pajamas she is wearing]

Pacey:
No. Um... not that outfit. The one... uh...the prev-- well, I mean, not-

Joey:
Wait, wait, wait. You were wanting to kiss me all night?

Pacey:
Yes.

Joey:
Even when you were yelling at me.

Pacey:
Especially when I was yelling at you.

Joey:
Even when you were flirting with that other girl?

Pacey:
Yeah. Then, too.

Joey:
So... is this... some sort of... recent new development in your life?

Pacey:
Wanting to kiss you? No. It's sort of always there... like...white noise, or... the secret service or the threat of nuclear war, for that matter. Just somethin' you get used to.

Pacey:
I got it. Seems a small price to pay for a dream come true.

Clerk:
I certainly hope you found everything you were looking for today.

Pacey:
Well...not everything, but we found what we needed, which, as I'm sure you know, is sometimes just as important. In a spiritual sense. 'Cause, you know, if you found everything that you needed today, what would be the point of waking up tomorrow and doing it all over again? It just wouldn't seem worth it.

Joey:
Don't worry. He's on a one-day pass from the asylum. But...in all fairness, I should let you know that I will be writing a letter to the home office about this.

Clerk:
You will?

Joey:
Yeah. Because this store... is perfect just the way it is. Don't change a thing.

Dawson:
Remember this feeling, George. Remember what it was like to make a film about something you loved, the confidence to do it your way, control your vision, keep it your own. I mean that's.....I miss that.

George:
Yeah. You do sort of have the stink of a burnout talent on you.

Pacey:
And you're sure you'd be comfortable with the whole boss/secretary power relationship?

Joey:
We both know who's boss here.

CJ:
Look, if what you told me about your past is true, then I'm guessin' what I don't understand is why the creeps and the scumbags who treated you so poorly got the benefit of your sex drive. Whereas guys like me who actually treat you fairly well... we get ridiculed for wanting to have sex with you.

Jen:
Wow. Kudos to you, C.J. That is the nicest way that anybody's ever called me a slut.

Larry Newman:
Friends will come and friends will go, but I say... there's always room for a movie in which teenage girls take their clothes off.

Larry Newman:
Which reminds me-- a minimum of 3 nude scenes, please? That's not including the scenes in the strip bar. I want this picture to be wall-to-wall boobs. Ok? This is gonna be a very good picture.

Pacey:
Jo, how can you expect me to concentrate if you're around all day?

Joey:
Am I really that much of a distraction, Pacey? I mean, my desk is outside of your office. You can't even see me.

Pacey:
But I know you're there. And I would not have come as far as I have if you were 5 feet away from me all the time. I just wouldn't. Trust me.

Joey:
Really? And why is that?

Pacey:
Ok, now you're just milkin' this for all it's worth, aren't you? Fine. [Sighs] I wouldn't have been able to concentrate because every time you're 5 feet away from me or 25 feet away from me, for that matter... there's really only one thing that I want to do.

Joey:
Do tell.

[Pacey kisses her]

Pacey:
[on the phone] Hi. Is this Potter's House of Pain?

Joey:
This is Mistress Potter speaking.

Pacey:
Look, you like Harley, right?

Patrick:
She has her strong points. Ok. I mean, as long as we're talking man to man, yeah, I like her. A lot.

Pacey:
Well, good. Congratulations, man. 'Cause true feelings for a woman, that's about the best experience you're ever gonna have. I mean, it'll make you strong, it'll make you stupid, and it will definitely take you closer to being the man you want to be.

Patrick:
Yeah, I don't know why I should be taking advice from you. Like you're some kind of Yoda when it comes to the chicks.

Pacey:
Have you seen my date?

Patrick:
Tell me more, Sensei.

Joey:
Hey. Ooh.

Pacey:
Yeah, I know. Kids today, huh?

Joey:
That damn rap music.

Pacey:
And those baggy pants. Even with the damage to my unsuspecting eardrum, I did think that tonight was quite nice. Quite nice.

Joey:
Yes. Quite. Perfect. It was... it's been a perfect night....Pace? I can't do this.

Pacey:
You can't do what?

Joey:
Even when everything is perfect, being with you doesn't feel right, and I'm sorry. Look, everything tonight-- I mean, tonight was lovely and fun and... you've become this... I mean, this amazing man, but it doesn't... I'm sorry. I don't... I don't feel it. And I can't do this with you.

Pacey:
Ok, Joey, just slow down for a second.

Joey:
No, Pace, it's... it's true and... I'm sorry.

Pacey:
So what, you're scared. Right? You're scared. And so am I, believe me. And I'm scared because I don't know where this thing is going, Jo. As in, I think it could go anywhere. This could be it.

Joey:
It won't be.

Pacey:
How could you possibly know that? I mean, really. Last week, you're onboard, and now you're just psychically telling me that this could never be something great. You can't possibly know that, because we don't know that, Joey.

Joey:
And I'm sorry. I know that this is such a horrible thing to say.

Pacey:
But how? How could you know? And when did you make this decision, tonight? I mean, I thought tonight was going great.

Joey:
It was. It was great.

Pacey:
So then when? And don't tell me that you're not scared, because I know that you are. I mean, I've known you too long and seen you push away too many good things to let you push me away right now. My whole life, Joey, my whole life you have been the most beautiful thing in my orbit. And my feelings for you were what proved to me that I could be great. And those feelings were stronger and were wiser and more persistent and more resilient than anything else about me.

Joey:
Pacey, stop.

Pacey:
Jo-

Joey:
Pacey!

Pacey:
When I was afraid of everything, I was never afraid to love you and I could love you again. I could. I'm telling you, this could...

Joey:
Pacey, no. Pacey, stop! Eddie came back. I'm sorry. He came back last night. He came to the bar-

Pacey:
Oh. Okay.

Joey:
Look, I'm sorry- [Pacey walks away]

Patrick:
And as my fist was rocketing towards his neck, I was just, like, you know, Patrick, you're a lover, not a fighter.

Harley:
That last part was pretty obvious. And as for the first part...

Patrick:
You mean the lover part?

Harley:
Not a chance.

Patrick:
Oh. Well, I didn't mean it literally. Well, yeah, I did, but... you know, that's not the reason I'm at the dance with you. I'm at the dance with you because if I weren't, you'd be with some other guy, and that would kill me.

Harley:
Because you like me?

Patrick:
Yeah.

Harley:
Nice speech. Pacey teach you that?

Patrick:
Yeah. Yeah, that and how to unhook a bra with one hand.

Harley:
Try it and you'll have one hand left.

C.J.:
You excited about the hosting gig tonight?

Jen:
Mm-hmm.

C.J.:
Yeah? Who knows? You could become the next Ryan Seacrest. You could borrow one of his man-blouses.

Audrey:
Want to make out?

Eddie:
No.

Audrey:
Good. That was your test, buddy. You break her heart again and I'm going to kill you. You got it?

Audrey:
Oh, my god! Where is he?

Jen:
Who?

Audrey:
Who? Who? Oh, Jen, Jen. Sweet, sweet, Jen. Such an amusing facade, but it's of no use. You can't keep us apart. It's destiny, I tell you. Destiny. Jen, he was on my plane.

Adam Carolla:
Ladies, put the claws back. No need to fight. Plenty of room on the Carolla coaster for everyone.

Jen:
I'm afraid I won't meet the minimum-height requirement. It's nice to meet you. I got to go.

Adam Carolla:
Well, what about you? You want to hop on board?

Audrey:
I wasn't talking about you, doofus. I'm kind of looking for Dr. Drew.

Adam Carolla:
Pinsky?

Audrey:
Yes, yes! Do you know where he is?

Adam Carolla:
That geezer's probably out casket shopping. He's old. He's an old man. He's old enough to be your grandfather. Whereas I, I'm just old enough to be your daddy. And plus, the guy's a bore. He's an amazing bore. He never stops talking about gonorrhea and hepatitis G. Believe me, I know. I have to share a hotel room with the guy. Cheap bastards.

Audrey:
Oh, my god. You've shared a room with him? Tell me something. Have you seen him naked?

Adam Carolla:
Yes. Yes, I have.

C.J.:
Well, there's this, uh... girl that I have-- or had a relationship with.

Adam Carolla:
She was a sex buddy?

C.J.:
No, she, uh... she was a girlfriend, actually, and we were together for several months up until this morning, when she dumped me like a sack of rotten trash. No explanation, no warning, no nothing.

Dr. Drew:
Were there any warning signs? Any problems in the relationship?

C.J.:
No, none. Well... I did sleep with one of her friends.

Adam Carolla:
But just one, right? Women don't--they don't mind that kind of stuff. Can't be that.

C.J.:
But she knew about it and it was before we got together, so that doesn't really count, right?

Dr. Drew:
Have you simply tried asking for an explanation?

C.J.:
That's the thing. Every time I try to talk to her, she treats me like I'm Father Damien.

[They look at him strangely]

C.J.:
He was a leper.

Adam Carolla:
Oh, sure. The famous leper, Father Damien. Drew, you wrote your thesis on Father Damien, did you not? All right. Listen, I say run. I mean, this chick's a head case. She's going to take you down, I promise.

Jen:
Thank you, Adam, for that astute insight, but if you don't mind me saying so, I think that C.J.'S problems here are really subordinate to those of the many members of this audience who have actually paid good money to listen to your vastly under qualified advice.

Adam Carolla:
You're so lucky I don't know what "subordinate" means, honey.

Jen:
Um...ok, why don't we go to Mandy behind the screen? Mandy, what's your question? Mandy?

Audrey:
Oh. Hi. Sorry, no. Actually, my name is Audrey, and my question is specifically for Dr. Drew. Um, I'm about 5'7". I've got blond hair, blue eyes, great rack.

Jen:
Audrey, question. Find it.

Audrey:
Oh, right. Ok. Well, um... several months ago, I realized that I had a serious problem with alcohol. I had all these negative feelings about my life, and I was using alcohol as my escape. And in the process, I hurt a lot of people that were very close to me. And if it hadn't been for those very same people, I probably would not have gotten the professional help that I needed. So after spending several weeks in a rehab facility in southern California, um... I guess my question to you is this, Dr. Drew-- how would you like to go back to my dorm room and play a little game I like to call "dirty doctor and naughty nurse?"

Pacey:
Good morning, gentlemen. I had sex with a beautiful woman last night. Now, this should not have happened. She was way out of my league, and I even like to think that I'm a fairly handsome guy, but I'm not that handsome, and I like to think that I'm pretty good in bed, but I'm not that good. How does something like that happen? I'll tell you. I'm 20 years old, and I am doing exactly what I was put on this earth to do. I am making money... hand over fist... faster than I know how to spend it. And let's tell the truth. You all came here today because you're trying to escape the miserable bottom-feeding existence that you've been living that has denied you what is rightfully yours. If you want this for yourselves, you can have it. But I'm here to tell you, you will get your asses kicked on a daily basis, but you will learn. And ultimately, you will do what you were put on this earth to do, which is make money. Now, if any of you are still interested in this proposition, be here 9 A.M. Sharp Monday morning. If you are late, do not come into my building. Turn around, go home, and prepare yourselves for a life in retail. I'll see you then.

Eddie:
So what you're saying is that you want to do everything.

Joey:
Yes! Yes. Well, everything within reason.

Eddie:
Within reason?

Joey:
Well, yeah, I mean, we should be somewhat practical about this.

Eddie:
You want to be practical about running away together?

Joey:
Well, Eddie, I mean, running away together isn't as easy as it looks on TV. I mean, believe me. I've done it before. And we're gonna get back in the fall. We're gonna be starting school. We're gonna be completely broke.

Eddie:
So?

Joey:
So that thought doesn't terrify you?

Eddie:
No, not more than the thought of not spending the summer with you. Or not seeing your face the first time you see the Eiffel tower, or the London bridge, or the plaza San Marco in Venice. You know, it's not like either of us have any money now. I mean, we're broke. So what? We start over. Rebuild things from scratch.

Joey:
With you in California and me here?

Eddie:
And a whole lifetime's worth of memories. Things that'll never leave us no matter how broke we get.

Joey:
Eddie... all I'm saying is that... running away together, no matter how romantic and magical it all seems at the time, it doesn't solve anything, ok? So whatever it is that you're running away from, whether it be circumstances or geography, you know, fate, another person, it's always gonna be there when you get back.

Eddie:
Ok, so what would you suggest to solve these problems, Joey? I mean, what do you want to do? Just ignore the opportunities that come our way?

Joey:
No! I'm just--I'm trying to be practical.

Eddie:
Which means what, exactly?

Joey:
Maybe we should just wait. You know, scale back a little.

Eddie:
Scale back?

Joey:
Yeah. Maybe work for a month or two and then go.

Eddie:
Joey, we're gonna spend the rest of our lives working.

Joey:
Yeah, and we have the entire summer to take this trip. Nobody said we have to go tomorrow.

Eddie:
I do.

Joey:
What?

Eddie:
You don't-- you don't even really want to do this, do you?

Joey:
Of course I want to do this.

Eddie:
Yeah, but only on your terms.

Joey:
Well, whose terms am I supposed to be doing this on, Eddie? I mean, if I'm gonna throw my life entirely off course for the chance-

Eddie:
Oh, my god. What are you talking about? Throwing it off course? I'm not asking you to throw your life off course, Joey. I'm talking about a summer here. All I'm asking is that you take a leap. Come away with me.

Joey:
Oh, like Saul Bellow or on the road? Eddie, those are just stories--poems. Little pieces of unreality that we're not meant to base our lives on. Eventually we always have to come back and deal with the real world.

Eddie:
So what? What are you gonna do? You just wanna sit here for your entire life waiting and hoping for the world to come to you? Because the point of those stories, Joey, is that people's lives-- their real lives-- only begin when they step out into the world. And when you do that, when you meet it head on, maybe you change the world, maybe you don't, but the point is, is that it changes you. And that is what people mean when they talk about growing up.

Joey:
So what? If I want to be with you, I'm supposed to just throw all of my previous life experience out the window? I'm supposed to just stop being who I am?

Eddie:
Who you are, Joey, is not some scared little girl who's afraid to take a chances on anything, who's afraid to really love someone because of the risk or the pain. That does not define you as a person. Or maybe it does, you know? Maybe--maybe I'm crazy. Maybe you've just blinded me.

Joey:
Are you done? You should probably find somewhere else to sleep tonight.

Jack:
Do you think that I was just going out with David to prove something to myself?

Jen:
Something about what?

Jack:
Just to prove that I could do it, that I could be in a relationship. You know, have a boyfriend.

Jen:
I don't know. I mean, is that something that you feel like you needed to prove to yourself?

Jack:
Yeah. Who wants to be that 35-year-old guy that's living alone and still going out to the bar scene trying to find the right person?

Jen:
Give me a break. You're 20 years old. You're not even legally old enough to be in those bars, let alone haunt them with your sad, single self.

Jack:
Yeah, that from the girl who was on a first-name basis with half the bouncers in New York.

Jen:
Look, my point is is that I don't think that everybody meets the love of their life when they're a teenager. Or when they're 25. Or even when they're 35. But that doesn't mean that you stop looking and hoping. You know, 'cause you will meet that person, and when you do, I guess you know it.

Pacey:
I just-- I want to ask you one thing before you go.

Rich:
As long as it doesn't involve me holding you while you cry.

Pacey:
I promise.

Rich:
What is it, kid?

Pacey:
Well, I was just wondering if maybe you could cover me? Loan me a little money?

Rich:
You're kidding, right?

Pacey:
No. I wish I was, but... you have no idea how hard it is for me to ask you for this, Rich, but a friend of mine a couple of weeks ago, he came to me and he wanted to double his money really fast. So I just put it all into Stepatech.

Rich:
That was a stupid move, Pacey.

Pacey:
But he wanted to pull out, and I told him not to, I told him to just trust me and ride the thing out, and this guy is my oldest and closest childhood friend. I cannot screw him like this, Rich.

Rich:
It's already done, Pacey.

Pacey:
No, I'm serious. All I want to do is give him back his initial investment. And then I'll pay you back with whatever interest you want.

Rich:
What about you? What happened to your disposable income?

Pacey:
I got nothing left. Everything I had was in Stepatech. I'm worth like, I don't know, 300 bucks right now.

Rich:
You know, it's funny. You're so good at your job, you're so confident, I sometimes forget how young and stupid you are.

Pacey:
Please, Rich, I need your help, not the speech right now, ok?

Rich:
Oh, I think you do, actually. And I'm gonna say to you what you should have told your little friend in the first place. No.

Pacey:
That's it? That's all you have to say to me? I come to you, embarrass myself, and you're just gonna say no?

Rich:
Pretty much, yeah.

Pacey:
You know, Rich, sometimes you're so good at your job I forget what an unfeeling prick you are.

Rich:
You work for me. I'm your boss. You watch your tone.

Pacey:
Ok, Rich, I'm just asking you for this one favor! Just one time!

Rich:
I...don't...do... favors, Witter.

Pacey:
Why not? 'Cause god forbid you have to drop the Gordon Gecko routine for a second? I mean, this would be so easy for you, man. Just help me out here!

Rich:
Help you out?! I gave you a job, Witter! I gave you a chance to escape some bottom feeder existence, and every step of the way, you have been a holier-than-thou pain in the ass. So you tell me, why should I help you out? Take this pen. Take this pen, Witter, and write down today's date. Because from this day forward, you're going to amount to nothing. You are a failure and a loser, and you deserve everything that can-- uhh!

[Pacey hits him and they begin figting]

Rich:
It's all over, Pace. Don't worry... you're fired. That's what you wanted all along, anyway. Loser.

Eddie:
[in a letter to Joey] Dear Joey, as you know, I'm not good at good-byes, but I guess that's what this is. A real one this time. Because as much as I thought I wanted us to be together, I guess what I want more is to be one of those people who lives every moment of his life without indecision and without regrets. Someone who dares to disturb the universe without a thought to the consequences. And you're not one of those people, at least not yet. Maybe you'll prove me wrong about that one day. I hope you do. But who knows? Maybe people can't change. Maybe we're doomed to repeat the same mistakes over and over again no matter how hard we try. I always hope for a happy ending. How crazy is that? Take care of yourself.

Dawson:
I got 3 credit cards in the mail last week, maxed them out in, like, a day. Got lights, cameras, this awesome sound equipment. I'm going completely overboard, but I don't care. I'm talking a mile a minute. I haven't even asked you what brought you to Capeside.

Pacey:
Man. Ha! Being in this room, it just takes me back to a whole other era. When the future was a clean slate for all of us, you know?

Dawson:
Well, the room may have gone back in time, but I think you and I have moved ahead rather nicely. It's about all the obstacles we went through when we were kids. We both ended up doing exactly what we wanted to do.

Pacey:
Well, there was that brief period of time I toyed with the idea of being a rodeo clown, but I guess this'll do. Heh heh.

Dawson:
But you made something of yourself, Pace, and now you're making something out of me.

Pacey:
So they told me you went away for a while.

Audrey:
Let's not be awkward exes, Pacey. I was drying out in Malibu.

Pacey:
Ok. Well, you look great, anyhow.

Audrey:
Clean living, my friend. So, what happened to your job? I know you're not just taking a long lunch break. You're a little too hard-core for that.

Pacey:
Well, I've been reassessing how I allocate my time.

Audrey:
So you're drinking?

Pacey:
I'm thinking about it.

Audrey:
You're thinking about taking a tasty downward spiral? Oh, you'd better quit while you're ahead. You're not cut out for this.

Pacey:
What are you talking about? I could spiral with the best of them. Speaking of... shouldn't you really avoid places like this?

Audrey:
I, um, can't hide from my problems forever. It's kind of how I ended up in rehab in the first place, right?

Pacey:
Well, that's brave of you. But you were always good like that.

Audrey:
Yeah, well, I'll be your personal superhero, ok?

Pacey:
Ok.

Audrey:
Unless of course you want to spend the rest of your days hiding out in dives like this. What are you hiding from, Pacey?

Pacey:
I'm hiding from the suit, because it's evil. Bad things happen when it's on. I allowed people to believe in me for a second, which was foolish, and now it's really coming back to bite them in the ass.

Audrey:
You know what? This isn't you talking. This is your former self rearing its ugly head. Come on, Pacey. I know moments like these. One path is the harsh reality, and one path is the comfortably numb. But guess what? In the morning, when you're all sobered up, the problem's still gonna be there. Only, now it'll be like a big festering wound, and you'll just be the jerk who sat back and let it get worse.

Pacey:
Well, thanks for not walking on eggshells around me.

Dawson:
It's weird, huh? This room used to be the official meeting place where we'd discuss what happened that day. And now it's just a film set, and I don't even know what happened this year.

Joey:
Yeah. I was kind of hoping I could just climb up the ladder and... magically fill in all the lost time.

Dawson:
How's that working for you?

Joey:
Not so easy.

Dawson:
Yeah.

Joey:
Maybe I was gone for too long.

Dawson:
Well, we'll piece it together between the two of us then, right? The lost year of Dawson and Joey.

Joey:
It wasn't easy.

Dawson:
What wasn't?

Joey:
Not talking to you. Maybe it seemed like it was. And I guess it just... became routine, just another thing that I didn't do. Well, like shooting heroin or driving drunk.

Dawson:
Wow, I'm up there with the dangerous activities.

Joey:
Or casual sex. Dawson, for so long, you were the only person in the whole world I wanted to be with. Then somehow you became my only one-night stand.

Dawson:
I never meant for it to be like that.

Joey:
I know. I know. Maybe being in this room makes it easier. Having it set up this way, you know, I'm so familiar, and... seems insane not to talk. And sometimes the hardest things to say are the things that... really matter.

Dawson:
Hmm. Why do you think I've spent years trying to write an entire screenplay about you?

Joey:
I read it in one sitting.

Dawson:
Ok. I hope you don't think that I gave it to you so that you could just say all the obligatory nice things.

Joey:
And why would I feel obligated?

Dawson:
Exactly, because if I can't get an honest opinion from the girl who loathes me more than anyone else in the world, who can I trust, right?

Joey:
You've always been this devilishly clever.

Dawson:
Well... yeah. But... uh, I got--I got-- I wanted you to read it because... well, you're really the only person in the world who can tell me if I got it right this time.

Joey:
You grew up, Dawson. You grew up. I always wanted to think that you were this hopeless dreamer and I was the adult that escaped. But I didn't escape anything, not really.

Dawson:
Sure you did. You got out of Capeside. Wasn't that the original plan?

Joey:
Couldn't escape myself, could I? You were right. So much of what I was fighting was growing up. And I figured out this past year that it's hard for me... to talk about sex, to talk about... getting close with someone. And maybe... I'm not supposed to lose myself. Now it's not part of the plan. But then again, I never thought that losing you was part of the plan, either.

Dawson:
I think sometimes... you have to lose somebody completely before you can figure out what they really mean to you. I missed you, Jo.

Joey:
You got it right this time, Dawson. I missed us.

Pacey:
Man, and we were just gettin' back to be friends, too. It's such a shame to ruin that.

Dawson:
What are you talking about? What would ruin it?

Pacey:
Money. Money would ruin it.

Dawson:
W-what happened?

Pacey:
It's gone. Your money's gone, my money's gone, some guy on Long Island's money is gone-

Dawson:
What--what do you mean gone? That was all the money that I had.

Pacey:
I know it was, Dawson, and I honestly thought Stepatech was gonna take off, I swear to you.

Dawson:
Right. Yeah, o-of course. Otherwise why would you blatantly ignore my request to sell the stock?

Pacey:
Man, I was just tryin' to do the right thing.

Dawson:
Ah, damn it, Pacey, this- You're always tryin' to do the right thing. You're always so eager to be the hero, you never quite see all the pieces of the puzzle.

Pacey:
Dawson... you came to me with your dream because you thought I could help make something of it, and somehow this comes back yet again to the fact that I screwed you over?

Joey:
Ok, you know what, you two? Let's just stick to the topic at hand. Ok, so we can just solve this problem by going inside and trying to get calm... and we'll talk about it.

Dawson:
Joey, talking about this is not gonna solve anything.

Joey:
What are you talking about?

Pacey:
He means it's not about money. So fine then, let's just talk about what's really goin' on here.

Joey:
You know what? I see no reason to drudge up baggage from the past just to fill in the moment, Pacey. I mean, let's remember something. This exchange between you and Dawson is purely a business exchange, and I think we need to remember to keep it at that.

Dawson:
She's right. It is business between us, 'cause god knows we haven't been best friends in a long time, have we?

Pacey:
No, we certainly have not.

Dawson:
You wanna know why we're not friends, Pace? It's not because of what happened with Joey, even though that turned my world upside down. It's because from that day forward, I realized that you hadn't been my friend for... maybe quite some time, 'cause the second you made us competitors-

Pacey:
That I made us competitors? No. No. Now--now you're rewriting history, Dawson.

Dawson:
I remember when my best friend had a choice and chose to turn his back on me. If you'd ever stopped settin' us up against each other, you woulda realized that you and I are not that far apart.

Pacey:
Ah, spare me the speech. You are not gonna convince me that our world's... are anything alike. You're just upset because I broke outta mine.

Dawson:
Broke out of yours? How? By putting on a suit and slavin' away at something that doesn't even interest you? You made money. Congratulations. You impressed us all.

Pacey:
How dare you. You know nothing about me, man. I was good at my job.

Dawson:
Then why am I broke?

Pacey:
Because that's life! I didn't make that choice! I have lost, literally, everything! What do you want from me, man? Does this make you happy, that you're back on top now? I mean, you always liked it better when you were in charge, so is this what you wanted? Does this make it all right?

Dawson:
You don't wanna know me, Pace. You wrote me off a long time ago.

Pacey:
Really? Really? Back when we were the best of friends? When we were brothers? Was I just outta the house every time you tried to call me over the last 3 years?

Joey:
Ok, can you guys just stop it? I can't stand here and listen to you guys do this anymore.

Pacey:
I didn't mean to lose your money. I didn't know that that would happen. I'm sorry.

Dawson:
Yeah, so am I. This-- this was just a big mistake from the beginning, I guess.

Joey:
You ok, Pace?

Pacey:
You don't have to do this.

Joey:
Do what?

Pacey:
Sit out here with me. I know you'd rather be in the house with Dawson, so why don't you just go and help him lick his wounds?

Joey:
Things never change here, do they?

Pacey:
No... because these are the roles we were destined to play.

Joey:
No, Pace, these are the roles we chose to play. I mean, look at us, sitting out here on this dock in front of the same house we've been haunting for years. We're practically ghosts of our former selves, and honestly, I don't think anyone really remembers what they're mad about anymore.

Pacey:
Mm, I wouldn't be so sure about that.

Joey:
Pacey, if I wanted to go back into that house, I would've gone a long time ago. Don't you know me at all by now?

Pacey:
Well, I don't want you sitting here feeling sorry for me.

Joey:
I don't feel sorry for you. I feel for you, Pacey. God, can't you ever tell the difference?

Pacey:
I don't know. [Sighs] I don't know, because you and I have had a very confusing run of things. Especially lately.

Joey:
Ok. You know, and no matter how much I love you or how long I stay with you, you're only gonna remember the moments when I leave.

Pacey:
Well, you gotta give me that much, because those are pretty much the most painful moments in my life.

Joey:
That's because you ask for them, Pacey. I'm sorry. You do. Your whole life, you spend so much time expecting the worst that you don't even notice the moments when people are loving you, and, Pacey, people spend a lot of time loving you.

Pacey:
Well... with all due respect, Jo, my best friend just walked away from me, but that's not even the worst of it. The worst thing is he hasn't even really known me for the last 3 years, so please, clarify that for me. How does that qualify me as a man with a support network?

Joey:
Well, you have a person sitting right here, don't you? But of course, that's not enough. Not until you let it.

Pacey:
In what world do I have you?

Joey:
Look, just because I don't fit into that... place you want me to doesn't mean there's not a place for me, Pacey. Does it?

Pacey:
Joey, this isn't your fight, anyway.

Joey:
You're right. You're right. It's not my fight because it's been over for a really long time, Pacey. And it is up to you to make it right.

Pacey:
I don't know how to make it right.

Joey:
Well, you're gonna have to figure it out. You know, that's the thing about ghosts. They say that... they don't leave until they're at peace with what they left undone.

Joey:
[voiceover] It's true what they say. Time is an unreliable narrator. History gets rewritten in small ways with each passing day. I can't swear this is exactly how it happened, but this is how it felt. Summer had brought us home, and we wasted no time assuming our roles in what had become an all-too-familiar scenario. Pacey had fallen from grace, Dawson's dreams were dashed, and I was somehow in the middle of it all over again. The triangle we had all tried so hard to put to rest had come back to haunt us.

Pacey:
Hey. Jo, come in. I'm finally starting to understand these soap operas. They're pretty good.

Joey:
All right, dirt merchant. Put some pants on. You're coming with.

Pacey:
Yeah. I don't think I'm going to be able to do that. The Young and the Restless is just about to come on. I gotta see how J.T. talks his way out of this one 'cause Colleen was about to kill him. I wouldn't miss that for all the pizza in Capeside. But, please, feel free. Pull up a seat. We got chips.

Joey:
Pacey. This is pathetic.

Pacey:
Well, yeah. Kind of comes with the territory. Now I'm not sure what you want me to do about it.

Joey:
I want you to come with me. I want you to help me figure out how to get Dawson's movie made on $10 and a dream.

Pacey:
I'd just end up ruining the whole thing, and Dawson knows that, I know that, and in your heart of hearts you know that. I'm a dangerous man, a lethal weapon, so we're all better off if I just lay here on my couch, watching my stories.

Dawson:
Cut, cut. Audrey, you're gonna have to take the robe off.

Audrey:
You're kidding me.

Dawson:
I thought we'd be in tight enough so we wouldn't see it, but it's right there.

Patrick:
This is, like, my dream day.

Audrey:
Ok, Dawson, what if I just show a little shoulder?

Dawson:
Problem is, I need bare skin.

Jen:
You need, like, spaghetti straps.

Joey:
She's right. You have to have something to match the wardrobe Audrey would be wearing if Pacey junior hadn't walked into her chest with a jelly doughnut.

Dawson:
We don't have an E.T.A. on that dress yet, do we?

Jack:
Yes. Spin cycle. Your mom says it's gonna be about, uh, 20 minutes.

Patrick:
Uh, excuse me. Is there any scenario in which she could just take off all her clothes? You know, at least for one take? Because then, you know, I feel like I could really give you an appropriate on-camera react-

[Joey grabs him by the ear.]

Patrick:
Aah!

Joey:
Can I have 5 minutes alone with this guy?

Patrick:
You don't know how long I dreamed of hearing you say that.

Todd:
[sits in the Director's chair] Oh, my apologies, sir. Force of habit.

Dawson:
No, stay there. Stay there. You bailed my ass out today.

Todd:
That's right, you little bugger. My bloody dogs are barkin'.

Dawson:
Makes you feel for the little people, doesn't it? Makes you wanna go back and apologize to every crew member you ever threw a hissy fit at, I bet.

Todd:
Hell, no. Makes me wanna produce.

Joey:
[voiceover] I used to be afraid of so many things...That I'd never grow up. That I'd be trapped in the same place for all eternity. That my dreams would forever be shy of my reach. It's true what they say. Time plays tricks on you. One day you're dreaming, the next your dream has become your reality. And now that this scared little girl no longer follows me wherever I go, I miss her. I do. 'Cause there are things I wanna tell her-- to relax, to lighten up, that it is all going to be ok. I want her to know that meeting people who like you, who understand you, who actually accept you for who you are, will become an increasingly rare occurrence. Jen, Jack, Audrey, Andie, Pacey, and Dawson. These people who contributed to who I am, they are with me wherever I go, and as history gets rewritten in small ways with each passing day, my love for them only grows. Because the truth is... it was the best of times. Mistakes were made, hearts were broken, harsh lessons learned, but all of that has receded into fond memory now. How does it happen? Why are we so quick to forget the bad and romanticize the good? Maybe it's because we need to believe that the time we spent together actually meant something, that we were there for each other in a time in our lives that defined us all, a time in our lives that we will never forget. I can't swear this is exactly how it happened. But this is how it felt.

Doug:
Looks like somebody's in quite the hurry this morning.

Jack:
Sheriff Doug, hey, look, I'm sorry. I'm late and I'm trying to get to class.

Doug:
Well, I have no choice but to issue you a citation for doing 40 in a 25.

Jack:
Look, I already have all these points against my license. You think maybe there's something I could do to...get you to look the other way.

Doug:
May I remind you, Mr. McPhee, that attempting to bribe a public official is a serious offense?

Jack:
Uh, you know, I was just hoping that maybe, um... I could appeal to your greater sense of compassion?

[Doug leans in and kisses him]

Doug:
All right. Just this once, I'll let you go with a warning.

Jack:
Thanks, honey.

Doug:
No, no, never, never call me honey.

Jack:
Dude, it's a deserted road. Chill.

Doug:
Don't call me dude, either.

Jack:
All right, tonight? Dinner later?

Doug:
Yeah. I'll cook. My place.

Jack:
Great. I'll bring the handcuffs. Kidding. I'll see you.

Doug:
Yeah, I'll see you. Jack... slow down.

Jack:
You got it.

Jack:
Mr. Hampton... is there a problem?

Hampton:
Do I have to keep reading?

Jack:
Well, the poem's not finished.

Hampton:
No, offense, Mr. McPhee, but this is a poem by a guy about another guy. It's, like, a gay poem.

Jack:
I wasn't aware that poems had sexual orientation. See, this gay poem and others like it actually got Whitman fired from his job. See, he was an outcast most of his life. But he didn't care. He loved his country. He loved the freedom that it stood for, and he celebrated the American spirit every chance that he got. And here we are 150 years later, and we're still laughing at him. Your assignment for this weekend is to find a way to say, through the conventions of poetry, what you are afraid to say. I want you guys to write about something that you're scared of. We're gonna read these things out loud on Monday to each other, so I would hope that you give the same courtesy to each other that you did not give to Mr. Whitman today. Have a good weekend.

Jen:
So I just caught some of your act. Looks like Capeside finally hired a good teacher.

Jack:
Good teachers are just traumatized students trying to erase whatever went wrong with their own high school experience.

Jen:
Do you think that you could erase my memories while you're at it?

Jack:
That would be a lifetime in a nunnery.

Joey:
We've been through so much Dawson. So many good times and bad. When I loved you, you loved Jen. When you loved me, I needed to be on my own. So I left you for Jack. Then he realized he was gay.

Dawson:
And then I convinced you to turn your dad in for trafficking cocaine and...you said you'd never speak to me again.

Joey:
But I did. I offered myself to you at that party, after you crashed your dad's boat.

Dawson:
And I refused...for some reason. And so you fell for Pacey.

Joey:
And years passed... until finally here we are... saying, "I do." The way it should be... the only way it can be for star-crossed, ill-fated soul mates. So, I do.

Dawson:
I do, too.

[Dawson wakes up]

Jen:
What are you doing here? It's late. Doesn't this hospital have visitation hours?

Jack:
I, uh... flirted with a nurse. I can be quite charming when I want to be.

Jen:
What happens when she finds out you're gay?

Jack:
It's a male nurse.

Jen:
Cute?

Jack:
Look, Jen... I would love nothing more than to engage in our patented, meaningless, good-humored Jack-Jen fag-hag banter, but... first I was kinda wondering, I mean, since you're lying here in this hospital bed and you're hooked up to all these machines... how come? How come you didn't tell me, 'cause I thought I was your best friend?

Jen:
Because I didn't want you to be worried. I was already worrying enough. Because I thought that if I pretended it didn't exist, it would just go away. Because I like it. I like our... patented, meaningless fag-hag banter, and 'cause I was scared if I said it out loud, it would be true, because I was just-- I was just scared. 'Cause I was an idiot.

Jack:
You are an idiot. I--I could've handled it. I could've helped you handle it.

Jen:
Well, you will help me handle it. I need you.

Jen:
[on videotape] Hi, Amy, it's mom. Well, by the time you see this, I won't be here anymore, and I know how much that sucks, for both of us. So seeing as how I won't be around to thoroughly annoy you, I thought I would give you a little list of the things that I wish for you. Well, there's the obvious. An education. Family. Friends. And a life that is full of the unexpected. Be sure to make mistakes. Make a lot of them, because there's no better way to learn and to grow, all right? And, um, I want you to spend a lot of time at the ocean, because the ocean forces you to dream, and I insist that you, my girl, be a dreamer. God. I've never really believed in god. In fact, I've spent a lot of time and energy trying to disprove that god exists. But I hope that you are able to believe in god, because the thing that I've come to realize, sweetheart... is that it just doesn't matter if god exists or not. The important thing is for you to believe in something, because I promise you that that belief will keep you warm at night, and I want you to feel safe always. And then there's love. I want you to love to the tips of your fingers, and when you find that love, wherever you find it, whoever you choose, don't run away from it. But you don't have to chase after it either. You just be patient, and it'll come to you, I promise, and when you least expect it, like you, like spending the best year of my life with the sweetest and the smartest and the most beautiful baby girl in the world. You don't be afraid, sweetheart. And remember, to love means to live.

Dawson:
Well, you know that list of hardest things to live through? You just got bumped again. Ah. I'm so out of touch, Jo. I've... I've wasted so much time living in my little Hollywood bubble even now, my mind's on my work. I hate to admit that. Show's calling every 5 seconds. The network wants a script, which I haven't finished yet, because I don't know how. I don't have an ending. I can't even think straight enough to write one.

Joey:
Dawson, this is a time of extreme stress.

Dawson:
It's not just that. When I saw Jen for the first time the other with Amy my first thought was, when did Jen have a baby? I forgot Jen had a baby. I forgot I knew that. What-- what's wrong with me?

Joey:
You cannot feel guilty about that, Dawson. My office is calling every 5 seconds. It's--it's called life, and we just have to deal. Deal with-

Dawson:
With what, though? It's not Shakespeare. I'm not writing Schindler's List. I don't even know why I care so much. I'm no Spielberg. The guy won't even take a meeting with me. Would he?

Joey:
Stop it.

Dawson:
She's dying. Jo, she's gonna die, and all I can think about is some frickin' ending to some stupid TV show. I keep thinking there's gonna be time for the rest of it, but it--it--it runs out.

Joey:
Yes, it does.

Dawson:
Nothing in my life feels real anymore. I've lost touch with my family, my friends, you... and you and me together is the only thing that ever made sense to me, and I forgot that... until I saw you, and then it came back, what we were, and we're not even together.

Joey:
Do you not watch The Creek? We're together every Wednesday at 8:00. Dawson, you wrote a show about us.

Dawson:
And that's the problem. I've turned my entire life into fiction. It's not even real life that I'm living anymore.

Joey:
It is real, in the best way possible. Dawson, do you know how lucky you are? You're a writer. You get to live life twice. Who else can do that?

Jen:
I mean, from the second that I stepped out of that cab and onto the Creek, I--I was the instigator, you know? The girl who caused problems and rocked the creek and upset the delicate emotional balance of Capeside, and--and I don't want Amy to be that person. I want her to belong. I feel like I never really did.

Jack:
Jen you belong. You belong with me. Don't you get it? You're my soulmate. Amy's gonna know love. Every day of her life, she is gonna know how much her mother loved her. I'm gonna see to that.

Pacey:
You're off the hook. I never really put much faith in all that "if you love someone set them free" crap, as evidenced by everything I've done in my life up to this very moment... but I am determined to be happy, Joey. Happy in this life... And I love you, I mean, I always, I have always, always loved you. But our timing has just never been right... and the way I figure it, time is no man's friend. So I have to get right with that and be happy, now. Because this is it, I mean, this is all that we get. If there is one thing I've learned from losing Jen, that's what I've learned.

Joey:
Pacey, I-

Pacey:
Actually, um, hold on. I'm not done yet. Because I also want for you to be happy. It's really important for me that you be happy. So I want you to be with someone, whether it be Dawson or New York guy or some man that you haven't even met yet. But I want you to be with someone who can be a part of the life that you want for yourself. I want you to be with someone who makes you feel like I feel when I'm with you. So, I guess the point to this long run-on sentence that's been the last 10 years of our lives... is just that the simple act of being in love with you is enough for me. So you're off the hook.

Joey:
You know, for the record I, I don't wanna be let off the hook. Cause everything in my life that I've done has led me here, right now. And the last thing I want, need or deserve is to be let off somebody's hook.

Pacey:
Please don't miss my point here...

Joey:
And don't miss mine. Pacey, I love you, you know that. And it's very real. It's so real that it's kept me moving, mostly running from it, never ready for it… and I love Dawson, he's my soul mate. He's tied to my childhood... and it's a love that is pure and eternally innocent. I can't be let off the hook because I just might get the notion that it's ok to keep running.

Pacey:
So then what exactly are you saying here?

Joey:
Are you writing?

Dawson:
No. The curse of an unwritten ending.

Joey:
Oh. Make it a happy one, please. I can't take any more sad ones. Stay away from the life and death of it all.

Dawson:
It's interesting how people use that expression-- life and death. As if to imply that life is the opposite of death, but birth is the opposite of death. Life... has no opposite.

Joey:
I never thought of it that way.

Dawson:
Well, leave it to me to over think it.

Joey:
You are the writer.

Dawson:
Yeah. This writer has decided it doesn't matter how it ends... because fiction is fiction, and for the first time, in a long time... My life is real. It doesn't matter who ends up with who. Because in some unearthly way... it's always gonna be you and me.

Joey:
Soul mates.

Dawson:
What we have goes beyond friendship, beyond lovers. It's forever.

Joey:
Yes, it is. I love you, Dawson.

Dawson:
I love you, too, Joey.