Grey's Anatomy, Season 5

Meredith:
[voiceover] We all remember the bed time stories of our childhoods. The shoe fits Cinderella, the frog turns into a prince, sleeping beauty is awakened with a kiss. Once upon a time and then they lived happily ever after. Fairy tales, the stuff of dreams. The problem is, fairy tales don't come true. It's the other stories, the ones that begin with dark and stormy nights and end in the unspeakable. It's the nightmares that always seem to become reality. The person that invented the phrase "Happily ever after" should have his ass kicked, so hard!

[Seattle Grace has just been ranked 12th in the national rankings.]

Mark:
Humiliating.

Derek:
Yeah.

Mark:
12? You're the best neurosurgeon in the country.

Derek:
Thank you.

Mark:
In the world. [Derek looks at him] Don't you want to say anything nice about me?

Derek:
Uh, you're the best plastics guy at Seattle Grace.

Mark:
[sarcastically] Nice, really nice.

Derek:
Don't force me to praise you.

Webber:
You know what I think? I think that number 12 ranking was a mistake. I think it was a clerical error and I'm gonna start making calls about it as soon as I get out of this surgery.

Erica:
So, I've been observing teaching styles. Shepherd likes to teach by thinking out loud. Bailey is blunt and direct and doesn't over teach and Sloan, well, Sloan just likes to berate and humiliate.

Webber:
I think if you really want to learn about teaching, you should talk to your students, find out how they learn best.

Cristina:
Mer, why do you care what I think?

Meredith:
Because you're my person. And if I'm gonna do this with him - be whole and healthy and be a warm, gooey person who lives with a boy, I need you. I need you on board. I need you to cheer me on. Because you're the only one who... knows me, darkly, really knows me. I need you to pretend that I can do this, even if you don't believe. Because if you abandon me now, I will never make it, and I'll never get my happy ending, and then that's just––

Cristina:
Life.

Meredith:
I'm saying please here.

Cristina:
I think you and Derek will make it. You'll make it work.

Meredith:
[voiceover] Once upon a time, happily ever after. The stories we tell are the stuff of dreams. Fairy tales don't come true. Reality is much stormier. Much murkier. Much scarier. Reality it's so much more interesting than living happily ever after.

Meredith:
[voiceover] As surgeons we are trained to fix what's broken. The breaking point is our starting line...at work. But in our lives the breaking point is a sign of weakness and we'll do everything we can to avoid it.

Bailey:
You can see the remaining tumors easily identified here.

Meredith:
Her liver looks so healthy.

Bailey:
That's the beauty of general surgery. See badness surrounded by goodness. Cut out the badness, all's right with the world. It's just you and your scalpel, one on one, mano a mano.

Mark:
[to Lexie, at the bar] Photographic memory, huh? [pause] Periodic table. Go.

Lexie:
Hydrogen, helium, lithium, beryllium, boron, carbon, nitrogen, oxygen, fluorine, neon, sodium, magnesium, aluminum, silicon, phosphorus, sulfur. I can keep going.

Meredith:
[to her shrink in the elevator] What was the point? All those hours and all that money? What's the point? The world is a horrible place. Young people die of diseases. It makes absolutely no sense to try to be happy in a world that's such a horrible place.

Dr. Wyatt:
[to Meredith] Yes.

Meredith:
What?

Dr. Wyatt:
Yes, horrible things do happen. Happiness in the face of all of that, that's not the goal. Feeling the horrible and knowing that you're not gonna die from those feelings, that's the point. [she stops the elevator] And you're not done. You've made progress because you're feeling and you're telling me about it. Six months ago, it would have been just you and a bottle of tequila. My door is always open.

Meredith:
[voiceover] Bones break. Organs burst. Flesh tears. We can sew the flesh, repair the damage, ease the pain. But when life breaks down when we break down there's no science. No hard and fast rules. We just have to feel our way through. And to a surgeon there's nothing worse, and there's nothing better.

Meredith:
[voiceover] In 6500 BC, some guy looked at his sick friend and said "I have an idea, why don't I drill a hole in your skull? It will make you feel better." And thus surgery was born. It takes a certain brand of crazy to come up with an idea like drilling into someone's skull, but surgeons have always been a confident bunch. We usually know what we're doing, and we don't, we still act like we do. We walk boldly into undiscovered country, plant a flag and start ordering people around. It's invigorating and terrifying.

[Izzie knocks on Meredith's door and Derek answers half naked]

Izzie:
Where's Mer?

Derek:
She's not here.

Izzie:
Oh. So you're just in there by yourself?

Derek:
I'm not. I'm--I'm waiting for her.

Izzie:
Love the outfit.

Derek:
What do you want?

Izzie:
I need cash. I ordered a pizza and Alex owes me 20 bucks, but he's not speaking to me because I saw him crying over his crazy girlfriend and there was a minute a week ago that I actually thought he was gonna be a human being and now he won't open the door.

Derek:
Run into the bathroom. Just go. Go! [Izzie hides in the bathroom] Karev! Give me a twenty.

[Alex grudgingly comes out of his room hands him a $20 note and leaves.]

Derek:
Thank you. [hands the $20 to Izzie]

Izzie:
That was so awesome. Very cool. Not that I didn't think you were cool before, but, you know, I did not. I kinda just thought you were all hair and... [looks at Derek's lower half] you know. Now, cool. [Derek snickers] You want to share some pizza?

[Izzie finds out that Alex "stole" her patient.]

Izzie:
[seethes] You son of a bitch.

Alex:
[smirks] Go cry to somebody who cares.

Izzie:
This is my case. It isn't fair.

Mark:
Surgery's like the Wild West. You didn't get your claim in Montana from the bank. You got it 'cause you put a fence around it and shot the ass off anyone who walked by. Karev's a cowboy. You're not.

Erica:
[to Meredith] You lie to me again about your experience and the next heart you see will be your own as I cut it out of your chest with a steak knife.

Meredith:
[voiceover] We like to think we're fearless, eager to explore unknown lands and soak up new experiences, but the fact is, we're always terrified. Maybe the terror is part of the attraction. Some people go to horror movies. We cut things open. Dive into dark water. And at the end of the day, isn't that what you'd rather to hear about? If you've got one drink and one friend and 45 minutes. Slow rides make for boring stories. A little calamity, that's worth talking about.

Meredith:
[voiceover] I am a rock. I am an island. That's the mantra of pretty much every surgeon I've ever met. We like to think we're independent. Loners. Mavericks. That all we need to do our jobs is an OR, a scalpel, and a willing body. But the truth is, not even the best of us can do it alone. Surgery, like life, is a team sport, and eventually, you've gotta get off the bench and decide... what team are you batting for.

Meredith:
I don't even want the credit, but the clinical trial was my idea. And I had to beg him to do it. More than once.

Izzie:
It's okay you want the credit. I would want the credit.

Cristina:
When you screw the attendings, you get screwed. They have all the power.

Lexie:
Interns. You could screw interns. [everyone looks at her] I mean.... date. Residents could date interns, 'cause we're nonthreatening. I read this study once that said that interns hardly ever file sexual harassment claims because we feel so weak and powerless in the hospital environment, so that's good.

Alex:
Interns. The other white meat.

Bailey:
We're ready for you, Grey.

Meredith:
Walking with the kidney... [she drops the kidney]

Bailey:
Five second rule! Five second rule!

Derek:
Ah, Dr. Bailey. I heard your big surgery went well today. Congratulations.

Bailey:
Same to you. Must feel good to see your name in print like that.

Derek:
It would feel better if Meredith wasn't so -- you know, she's acting silly about the credit. She's getting emotional.

Bailey:
That girl worked her ass off for you and you got all the credit.

Derek:
I would've gotten all the blame had we failed.

Bailey:
But you didn't fail.

Derek:
It's simple. I'm an attending. She's a second-year resident.

Bailey:
Who you're now living with. That's not simple. It's messy. If it were me, I'd start with "thank you." You'd be surprised how far that one goes, especially with us silly, emotional women.

Meredith:
[voiceover] The thing about choosing teams in real life, it's nothing like it used to be in gym class. Being first picked can be terrifying. And being chosen last... isn't the worst thing in the world. So we watch from the sidelines, clinging to our isolation, because we know as soon as we let go of the bench, someone comes along and changes the game completely.

Meredith:
[voiceover] For a surgeon, every patient is a battlefield. They're our terrain. Where we advance, retreat, try to remove all the landmines... And just when you think you've won the battle, made the world safe again. Along comes another landmine...

George:
Lexie, I'm your roommate. You're eventually gonna have to talk to me.

Lexie:
I reject that supposition.

George:
I reject your rejection.

Lexie:
And I ignore your rejection of my rejection.

George:
What?

Meredith:
[tries to calm George down] I don't reject you, George.

George:
Thank you!

Izzie:
Owen Hunt is a murdering, sadistic bastard.

Derek:
Let me guess. First wet lab?

Izzie:
He's stabbing pigs, defenseless pigs. Or as he likes to call them, "live tissue", because god forbid you should call them animals.

Derek:
He is the new head of trauma, Stevens. It may not be ideal but if that's how he does things, you should roll with it.

Izzie:
We don't need live subjects. What happened to "First, do no harm"? That's not just about humans. That's about all living things.

Derek:
Actually, I think it's just about humans.

Izzie:
I'm saying this to you as my roommate and not my attending.

Derek:
Uh-huh.

Izzie:
You disgust me.

[Callie and Mark are in bed together in the on call room. When someone knocks on the door, she hides under the covers]

Derek:
I'm gonna yell at the major general. Wanna come?

Mark:
Hell yeah. Be right there.

Derek:
Hey Torres.

Callie:
[from under the covers] Hey.

Meredith:
[voiceover] Some wars are never over. Some end in an uneasy truce. Some wars result in complete and total victory. Some wars end with a peace offering. And some wars end in hope... But all these wars are nothing compared to the most frightening war of all. The one you have yet to fight.

Meredith:
[voiceover] If you're a normal person, one of the few things you can count on in life is death. But if you're a surgeon, even that comfort is taken away from you. Surgeons cheat death. We prolong it. We deny it. We stand and defiantly give death the finger.

Derek:
Marriage counseling. How's that going?

Bailey:
You just heard us arguing about the marriage counseling. How do you think it's going? [Derek yawns] No, you are doing a craniotomy on my patient Rosemary Bullard today. Now are you gonna be awake for that or will you be yawning into a brain?

[Derek gets in the elevator, Mark is there]

Derek:
I need you to have sex with Cristina Yang.

Mark:
Good morning.

Derek:
Distract her, engage her, give her something to do after midnight besides call my girlfriend and wake me up.

Mark:
Yang?

Derek:
Mm-hmm.

Mark:
No. No, Too serious, humorless, un-fun. Not my type.

Derek:
Yang should be your type. She's intense, intelligent, complicated. She's like a single malt scotch and you're used to beer bongs.

Mark:
Callie Torres is no beer bong.

Derek:
Oh no, wait a minute, I get it. You don't think you have a shot. You're probably right.

Mark:
Oh, I have a shot.

Derek:
Then try it as a favor.

Mark:
No. I'm not your stud horse. You can't just... tell me who to sleep with.

Derek:
You slept with my wife.

[elevator dings]

Mark:
Yeah, I'll give it a shot.

Cristina:
The wife's here, of the beating victim. She ID'd her husband, so she wanted to take-

Owen:
What's his name? I wondered if you asked her her husband's name so that he would become a person to you. They're all people, Yang. This is not a game or a contest or a competition to see who gets surgeries and who doesn't. They're people and we get to save them. Now you're good. You're excellent and you can win all the contests. But if that's why you're doing this then you shouldn't be. Did you find out his name?

Cristina:
[closes the door and sits down in front of Owen] My dad died when I was nine. In a car accident, I was with him in the car. While we waited for the ambulance, I tried to keep his chest closed, so he wouldn't bleed so much. When he died, my hands felt his heart stop beating. That's why I do this. It's also why I win all the contests. The patient's name is Tom. [leaves]

Meredith:
[voiceover] We're born, we live, we die, sometimes not necessarily in that order. We put things to rest, only to have them rise up again. So if death is not the end, what can we count on anymore? Because you sure can't count on anything in life. Life is the most fragile, unstable, unpredictable thing there is. In fact, there's only one thing about life we can be sure of. It ain't over till it's over.

Meredith:
[voiceover] It's intense, what happens in the OR, when lives are on the line and you're poking at brains like they're silly putty. You form a bond with the surgeons right next to you. An unbreakable, indescribable bond. It's intimate being tied together like that. Whether you like it or not, whether you like them or not, you become family.

[Cristina climbs into Derek and Meredith's bed, waking an unhappy Derek]

Cristina:
[to Meredith] The wicked witch is dead.

Meredith:
Metaphorically dead or dead dead?

Derek:
Who are we talking about?

Meredith and Cristina:
Hahn.

Cristina:
Her name is off the surgical board. Her surgeries have been canceled. I don't know how or why, but I do know Hahn is gone.

Derek:
That's too bad. She was really talented. [Meredith and Cristina glare at Derek] You're not talking to me. [gets out of bed and leaves]

Meredith:
I need you to tell Mark to keep his "little Sloan" out of Little Grey.

Derek:
Is he hitting on you?

Meredith:
No, not my "little Grey". Lexie's "Little Grey". I don't know what's going on with her but the last thing she needs is Sloan going all man-whore on her. So you need to tell him to step away from Little Grey.

Derek:
[Meredith has asked Derek to talk to Mark about staying away from Lexie] Little Sloan does not enter Little Grey. Are we clear?

Mark:
Did you just say...

Derek:
Mmmhmmm.

Mark:
Okay, that's just creepy and inaccurate. Big Sloan.

Meredith:
[voiceover] The ties that bind us are sometimes impossible to explain. They connect us even after it seems like the ties should be broken. Some bonds defy distance and time and logic; because some ties are simply... meant to be.

Meredith:
[voiceover] When you're little, night time is scary because there are monsters hiding right under the bed. When you get older the monsters are different. Self doubt, loneliness, regret. And though you may be older and wiser, you still find yourself scared of the dark.

Derek:
[moaning coming from Izzie's room] Who's making a porno movie in Izzie's room?

Alex:
Relax. She's flying solo. That's hot.

Lauren:
[has taken medication that has killed the healthy bacteria in her body. Alex just told her that she needs a fecal transplant to survive] Poop? I need a poop transplant?

Izzie:
I'm just gonna keep my eyes closed. Because this is like that moment in the morning when you first wake up and you're still half asleep and everything seems... things are possible. Dreams feel true and for that one moment between waking and sleeping, anything can be real and then you open your eyes and the sun hits you and you realize that... I'm just gonna keep my eyes closed.

Meredith:
[voiceover] Sleep. Its the easiest thing to do; you just close your eyes. But for so many of us, sleep seems out of our grasp. We want it, but we don't know how to get it. But once we face our demons, face our fears and turn to each other for help, night time isn't so scary because we realize we aren't all alone in the dark.

Meredith:
[voiceover] My mother called it the greatest and most terrifying moment in her life, standing at the head of the surgical table knowing that the patient's life depends on you and you alone. It's what we all dream about because the first person that gets to fly solo in the O.R., kind of a badass.

Webber:
Choosing who gets the first solo surgery isn't just about who has the best surgical skills. Or who's logged the most hours in the O.R.. It's about the highest form of trust. The trust to put a patient's life into one of our residents' hands. And for the first time that I can recall, every single attending picked the same person. Dr. Yang. However, Dr. Yang is out of the running. She is going to pick the winner instead. Dr. Yang will post her decision on the O.R. board at 4 p.m. Also, since your interns are still banned from the O.R., the winner will be allowed to pick a fellow resident to scrub in with them. Good luck.

Cristina:
My gut? I'm not putting a patient's life in the hands of a novice surgeon based on my gut.

Owen:
Well, it worked for me.

Cristina:
Huh, I bet.

Owen:
It's what told me to choose you.

Alex:
Listen. You had that heart patient and it reminded you of Denny and how bad you felt when you were lying on that bathroom floor. I get that. I get that you're scared. But you're not going to have to feel like that again. Because I'm not going to die, Izz. And I'm not gonna cheat on you, and I'm not gonna go anywhere. 'Cause, I think you're my best shot at... I think with you... you make me better. You make me wanna be better. You make me want to be good. And I think I can. With you. I think I can. So I'm not going anywhere, and you can stop hiding. And if you wanna be scared that's okay just be scared with me. Be scared while you scrub in with me for my first solo surgery. Okay?

Izzie:
You love me.

Alex:
Shut up. [kisses her, leaves] Solo surgery!

Denny:
I'm really starting to not like that guy.

Meredith:
[voiceover] We enter the world alone and we leave it alone. And everything that happens in between, we owe it to ourselves to find a little company. We need help. We need support. Otherwise we're in it by ourselves. Strangers, cut off from each other and we forget just how connected we all are. So instead we choose love. We choose life and for a moment we feel just a little bit less alone.

Meredith:
[voiceover] We all get at least one good wish a year over the candles on our birthday. Some of us throw in more, on eyelashes, fountains, lucky stars. And every now and then, one of those wishes come true. So what then? Is it as good as we'd hoped? Do we bask in the warm glow of our happiness or do we just notice we've got a long list of other wishes waiting to be wished.

Webber:
[to Bailey after she complains to him about Arizona Robbins while on peds rotation] Dr. Bailey, you thought Shepherd was just a haircut. You didn't like Hahn and you think Dr. Sloan is a hussy. Can you name any attending that you thought was good?

Owen:
Seems like you're short of a friend today, so I thought I'd fill in.

Cristina:
Whatever. Colleagues aren't friends, they're competitors.

Webber:
[to Derek] I'm worried about my hospital dying. I made some calls to replace Kinley. No one wants to come here. I can't keep a cardiac surgeon on staff. Burke quit. Hahn quit. Dixon's autistic. My OR roof collapsed, the whole place flooded. The interns are literally chopping each other into little pieces. No wonder we're number 12. Twelve!

Meredith:
[voiceover] We don't wish for the easy stuff. We wish for big things. Things that are ambitious, out of reach. We wish because we need help and we're scared and we know we may be asking too much. We still wish though... because sometimes they come true.

Meredith:
[voiceover] My mother used to say this about residency, "It takes a year to learn how to cut. It takes a lifetime to learn not to." Of all of the tools on the surgical tray, sound judgment is the trickiest one to master. And without it, we're all just toddlers running around with ten blades.

Mark:
Why do you have to live in Meredith's attic? How am I supposed to sneak out of here with that frat party going on downstairs? Don't you kids ever sleep?

Lexie:
They're cleaning the house for Dr. Shepherd's mother.

Mark:
Mrs. Shepherd's coming... to Seattle?

Lexie:
So?

Mark:
So that woman practically raised me, taught me right from wrong. If she found that I was... with you, that we were... You're Meredith Grey's little sister. You are forbidden fruit. You are twenty-five. You're a fetus.

Lexie:
Twenty-four. I skipped third grade.

Mark:
I feel dirty.

Mark:
Pain and agony for a little bit of pleasure, I get it.

Callie:
If that's bad, why don't you stop sl— doing what you're doing.

Mark:
Because it doesn't feel bad when I'm... doing it. It's good. It's great. And maybe if you weren't so scared of getting burnt you'd feel the same.

Callie:
You know, I used to walk tall around here. I used to walk tall. And then came George. He took off at least an inch, and Erica went and left me that shaved off a few more. I got shorter. All that humiliation, it makes you shorter, so yeah, I am scared of getting hurt, because one more personal disaster right now would cut me off at the knees.

Arizona:
[to Alex] You don't think that I know that they just pulled the plug on the kid? You don't think I get that? You don't think I know about the tiny, tiny coffin they're going to stick him in? I know about the tiny coffins. I see them all the time. In my sleep. So if you don't mind, I'm going to keep talking relationships and rainbows and crap. And I'm going to make plans for tomorrow. Because that's what you do, Karev, you make plans. You have to. You turn your back on the tiny coffins and you face forward, until the next kid.

Meredith:
[voiceover] We're human. We make mistakes. We mis-estimate. We call it wrong. But when a surgeon makes a bad judgment call, it's not as simple. People get hurt. They bleed. So we struggle over every stitch. We agonize over every suture because the snap judgments, the ones that come to us quickly and easily without hesitation, they're the one that haunt us forever.

Denny:
[voiceover] I believe in heaven. I also believe in hell. I've never seen either, but I believe they exist. They have to exist... because without a heaven, without a hell, we're all just headed for limbo.

Bailey:
Karev, go and get the machine.

Alex:
What if it's already hooked up to somebody?

Arizona:
If that somebody has more than 16 hours to live, then we'll unhook him.

Bailey:
Dr. Shepherd?

Derek:
Dr. Bailey.

Bailey:
I need you to stop. I need you to put down the scalpel. This man is trying to kill himself and, God forgive me, I need you to let him.

...

Derek:
It's your call, Dr. Bailey. It's up to you. Am I an executioner? Or am I a surgeon?

Denny:
[voiceover] Heaven, hell, limbo, no one really knows where we're going or what's waiting for us when we get there. But the one thing we can say for sure, with absolute certainty, is that there are moments that take us to another place, moments of heaven on earth. And maybe for now, that's all we need to know.

Meredith:
[voiceover] Any first year med student knows that an increased heart rate is a sign of trouble. A racing heart could indicate anything from a panic disorder to something much, much more serious. A heart that flutters, or one that skips a beat, could be a sign of secret affliction or it could indicate romance which is the biggest trouble of all.

Callie:
[to Lexie] Look, alone people don't like to hear about the together people, okay? Even if the alone people are alone by choice. It's just sort of mean. It's sort of like bringing a 6-pack to an AA meeting.

Derek:
She said a thing about babies. Like babies are a totally ordinary idea. She's not afraid, she's ready.

Mark:
When are you gonna do it?

Webber:
Do what?

Mark:
Shepherd's proposing.

Webber:
No kidding? Outstanding! How're you gonna do it?

Derek:
I don't know. Just decided.

Owen:
Morning.

Mark:
Shepherd's proposing.

Owen:
Congratulations, that's a big step.

Derek:
Thank you very much. [to Mark] You just gonna tell everybody now?

Mark:
You need advice. Hunt, you ever proposed before?

Owen:
Uh sorry I'm... not the guy to ask. When are you gonna do it?

[Meredith approaches]

Derek:
Well more importantly how am I gonna do it?

Mark:
 :[sees Meredith, coughs] So, what do you use, like a twist drill for that?

[Webber leaves]

Derek:
Well not if you don't want a partial, pridal hematoma!

[Derek, Mark and Owen do big fake laugh]

Meredith:
[confused] Hi... [walks away]

Meredith:
Hey, um did you eat? Let me change, I'll come with you.

Derek:
No, no, no, I can't. I have to um, work.

Meredith:
Ok, listen. You have been acting like a basket case ever since I dropped that stupid little comment about babies. And I'm glad I dropped it, because if you don't want babies, or you don't want babies with me and my crappy DNA... just say so. You don't have to avoid me. You don't have to make up lame excuses about work.

Derek:
Meredith, I want your crappy babies.

Meredith:
Hah, you do?

Derek:
All of them.

Meredith:
Ok, do you wanna eat?

Derek:
No... I... I... I have to work.

Meredith:
[voiceover] It seems we have no control whatsoever over our own hearts. Conditions can change without warning. Romance can make the heart pound just like panic can. And panic can make it stop cold in your chest. It’s no wonder doctors spend so much time trying to keep the heart stable, to keep it slow, steady, regular to stop the heart from pounding out of your chest from the dread of something terrible or the anticipation of something else entirely.

Meredith:
[voiceover] Every patient’s story starts the same way. It starts with them being fine, it starts in the before. They cling to this moment, this memory of being fine, this before, as though talking about it may somehow bring it back. But what they don't realize is that the fact they're talking about it to us, their doctors, means there's no going back. By the time they see us, they're already in the after. And while every patient's story starts the same way, how the story ends depends on us, on how well we diagnose and treat. We know the story hinges on us and we all want to be the hero.

Addison:
[to Derek] I put you in a tiny box. After the divorce, I made you petty and inconsequential and nothing special so that you could fit into this tiny little box that would help me get out of bed in the morning. But now, now I have to take you out of the box because I need to believe that, uh, you can do this. That you can save my brother. I need you to be a god. Just today be a god.

Bailey:
What's she doing?

Webber:
It looks like she's praying.

Sam:
Mm, no. Addie doesn't pray.

Callie:
What's she doing?

Naomi:
Uh, she's praying.

Callie:
[chuckles] No, Addison doesn't pray. She must be hiding.

Addison:
I can hear you! And I'm not hiding. I am trying to pray but I don't know how to pray because I'm a WASP and we only go to church on Christmas.

Callie:
You guys go, I got this. [sits next to Addison]

Addison:
I have no clout with God. God doesn't even know who I am. Which sucks because I could... I could use some help.

Callie:
Dear God, I need your guidance. I kissed a peds surgeon.

Addison:
You kissed a peds surgeon?

Callie:
I never thought I'd end up with a woman, God, but, I mean not until lately, but that's not the problem. The problem is the peds thing. She's, she's perky... and has butterflies on her scrub cap. But she's also hot... really hot. So, help me get over the butterflies. Amen. [to Addison] You're an amazing doctor, you save babies. God knows who you are.

Addison:
Do you really believe in all this? In God?

Callie:
Sometimes. Most of the time. When it counts.

[Archer refuses surgery after being told he could die.]

Archer:
Look, I know you guys want me to go down fighting but I––

Derek:
Coward.

Archer:
Excuse me?

Derek:
I said "coward." You're a coward by trade. You're a neurologist. You guys feed off us, refer your patients to us, let us assume the responsibility and if god forbid something happens, well, I'll tell you what, I can assume the responsibility. The question is, can you?

Meredith:
[voiceover] There's this thing that happens when people find out you're a doctor. They stop seeing you as a person and begin to see you as something bigger than you are. They have to see us that way, as gods, otherwise we're just like everyone else, unsure, flawed, normal. So we act strong, we remain stoic. We hide the fact that we're all too human.

Alex:
[about Addison still being at Seattle Grace] Admit it. Her being around your guy bugs.

Meredith:
It doesn't buy. You bug.

Derek:
Karev, page Addison. Tell her I need her to stay.

Meredith:
Okay, it bugs a little.

[Derek, Meredith, Addison and Alex prep for surgery]

Derek:
You're a good doctor. So am I. Let's just be good together.

Alex:
Your guy and my guy work well together.

Meredith:
Well, my guy works well with everyone.

Webber:
Exactly, I am the chief of surgery! And I don't have time to write letter to pump your ego. My head of neuro is being called a murderer, I have to fire my longest standing general surgeon because she won't retire, interns are mixing up blood samples in your clinic, and you want me to spend my time writing a recommendation so you can leave me!?

Bailey:
Leave you? Sir, I'm applying for a fellowship in pediatric surgery.

Webber:
Which is not what we had discussed! Do you know how much of my time you wasted? Do you know the amount of work it takes to groom someone? You were supposed to become the next me!

Bailey:
You wanted me to become the next you. I'm not your son, or your daughter. You don't get to pin all your hopes and dreams on me, sir! [...] You're worried about your legacy, but I am not your legacy, and me applying to peds is not... You are not listening to me, sir. [stops after seeing Derek and Mark having a fight.]

Meredith:
[voiceover] Patients see us as gods or they see us as monsters. But the fact is, we're just people. We screw up, we lose our way. Even the best of us have our off days. Still we move forward. We don't rest on our laurels or celebrate the lives we've saved in the past. Because there's always some other patient that needs our help. So we force ourselves to keep trying, to keep learning. In the hope that, maybe, someday we'll come just a little bit closer to the gods our patients need us to be.

Izzie:
You're unmotivated, you're careless, selfish, distracted, and pretty much the people in this hospital I would least trust with my life. But that's the way it's supposed to be. You're interns. You're babies. And you're all lucky to work here. We're all lucky because we get to save lives. Every day, we get to save lives. That's what we do, that's our job, and... it's not something a lot of people get to do.

Meredith:
[voiceover] Every surgeon I know has a shadow. A dark cloud of fear and doubt that follows even the best of us into the OR. We pretend the shadow isn't there hoping that if we save more lives, master harder techniques, run faster and farther it will get tired and give up the chase but like they say... you can't outrun your shadow.

Meredith:
How'd it go with the lawyers?

Derek:
They told me my death rate. [looks at a small pile] These are the people I saved. [looks at a big pile] These are the people I killed.

Meredith:
Okay. Well most of those people were terminal when they came to you. You were their last chance, and you take on impossible cases. Look at the clinical trial.

Derek:
It's just so many people. More than Dahmer, Manson, and Bundy combined.

Meredith:
You're not looking at the big picture.

Derek:
[points to the big stack of files] This is the big picture.

Meredith:
[about Derek] And he just walked out. Without saying a word, he just walked out!

Cristina:
Hunt won't even look at me, since he went all Apocalypse Now on me this morning.

Meredith:
He had to get all scalpel happy up in that patients brain, and now he can't face it!

Cristina:
He thinks I'm what? This wilting flower? Well guess what, I'm the strong one.

Meredith:
Oh my god! I'm the strong one.

Cristina:
You see, if I had that stomach cancer gene, I would get that gastrectomy no problem. I face things, I don't walk away.

Meredith:
Derek walks away. Maybe walking away is the answer?

Cristina:
See it's not emotional, it's science. You have a problem, don't ignore it.

Meredith:
Well, sometimes if you have to pee and you ignore it, it does go away.

Izzie:
[laughs] You guys are hilarious! I mean do you even know what she just said? Or what she just said? [Meredith and Cristina look at each other] I can totally see you guys in 50 years, at a nursing home, just talking at each other with your hearing aids off. [laughs] Hi-larious! Ah, I love lunch.

Izzie:
Maybe Cristina's right. Maybe trying to teach the interns is pointless.

George:
Please, don't listen to Cristina. She thinks just because you'd rather teach then take out a gall bladder that you're the new me.

Izzie:
Haha, O'Malley the sequel.

George:
O'Malley 2.0.

Izzie:
You read more journals and do more research, and log more hours in the skills lab than any other resident here. You never give up on trying to be a better doctor, and you don't step on other people to do it. I would be lucky to be the new you.

Meredith:
[voiceover] Every surgeon has a shadow. And the only way to get rid of a shadow is to turn off the lights, to stop running from the darkness and face what you fear, head on.

Meredith:
[voiceover] Surgeons aren't known for being warm and cuddly. They're arrogant, impatient, mean as often as not. You'd think they wouldn't have friends 'cuz who could stand them? But surgeons, are like a bad cold. Nasty, but persistent. Surgeons: nasty, aggressive, unstoppable, just the kind of people you want on your side when you're really screwed.

Callie:
Look, I'm sorry about your patient. I know how hard it can be. I, I had a patient a couple of years ago, a young guy, 50 maybe. Simple knee replacement. He was post op, he was fine. I even told his wife she could go and get him lunch. I mean, it was a simple knee replacement, it was nothing. But, ah, he'd been getting short of breath so I'd put him on blood thinners for a post surgical PE. And, ah, It wasn't until he was vomiting up dark red blood, looking me in the eye, telling me that he was dying... that I figured it out. That I was wrong. That it wasn't a PE, he was bleeding internally. It wouldn't have been fatal, but the blood thinners. God, I will never forget the look on his wife's face. When she came back with that sandwich in her hand, asking me why her husband wasn't in his room anymore.

Derek:
How do you live with it? Killing him. Taking him from his wife. How do you live with it?

Callie:
We call it malpractice when we make a mistake.

Derek:
Yeah, I know what we call it! I'm asking you, when you get up in the morning, how do you look at yourself in the mirror? I'm not... I'm... I'm asking.

Callie:
[looks at the beer Derek is drinking] Can I have one of those?

Derek:
Yeah.

Bailey:
Ah, Chief?

Webber:
Dr. Bailey.

Bailey:
How's your mood?

Webber:
Meager. Anxious. I'm excited about Sloan's face transplant. I'm a little concerned about Derek Shepherd, but all in all...

Bailey:
Do I look like therapist?

Webber:
You asked.

Bailey:
I've lost Hunt and Torres. See, I sent them to get Shepherd and I never heard from them again. See, I was trying to solve the Shepherd situation for you, Sir, but, it appears I've somehow made it three times worse. So, I'm telling you and my next move I believe is that I'm gonna call the police. Because, I'm half convinced they're all dead, on a spit, with a one armed man turning them into shish kebabs. Sir. It's my mind. It just goes there.

Derek:
[to Richard] Get out!

Webber:
No.

Derek:
Get out, Richard! Get out!

Webber:
Look, I've destroyed lives before. Several in fact, and yours is not one of them. Now, I sent the woman you love out here to help you. I sent the woman who loves you, out here, to bring you back to your life. If you ruin it with her, that's on you. I don't accept it. You're scared, you're drunk. You don't know which way is up. You threw a punch at your best friend, you threw a ring at Meredith, and now you wanna throw me out. I'm not accepting it! Because, I'm older than you, and I've been where you are. You've been drunk for a few days, I was drunk for years. And I know you're gonna need at least one friend when you decide to come out of that hole you're digging. I hope you come out of it soon, and I'll be here when you do.

Derek:
I don't think I can get her back.

Webber:
Did you call her?

Derek:
What am I going to say?

Richard:
I had an affair for years and when Adele found out somehow she... She took me back... you can make your way back from anything.

Meredith:
[voiceover] Practicing medicine doesn't lend itself well to the making of friends. Maybe because life and mortality are in our faces all the time. Maybe because in staring down death everyday, we're forced to know that life, every minute, is borrowed time. And each person we let ourselves care about is just one more loss somewhere down the line. For this reason, I know some doctors who just don't bother making friends at all. But the rest of us, we make it our job to move that line. To push each loss as far away as we can.

Alex:
[voiceover] Surgeons are all messed up. We're butchers, messed up knife happy butchers. We cut people up, we move on. Patients die on our watch, we move on to the next patient and the next. We cause trauma, we suffer trauma. We don't have time to worry about all the blood and death and crap really makes us feel.

Callie:
I wished Izzie Stevens would die. I wished her dead every day, of every week, for I don't even know how long. I woke up every morning, wishing Izzie Stevens would die, and now... What kind of person wishes someone would die? What kind of... what kind of doctor wishes, knowing how things happen. What kind of doctor wishes...

Arizona:
Are you in here, right now, praying for Izzie to die?

Callie:
No. I'm praying for her to live.

Derek:
We'll see you soon Dr. Stevens.

Izzie:
I hope so.

Bailey:
Know so.

Izzie:
Dr. Bailey if something goes wrong...

Bailey:
It won't.

Izzie:
The scarf, I made it for you.

Derek:
It's a beautiful night to save lives. Let's get started.

Webber Wait. Um. Wait. No. You can't take that one.

Meredith Why not?

Webber:
I said don't take it.

Meredith:
I will take the elevator I want to take.

[Webber blocks elevator door. Door closes and Meredith presses the button for a new elevator. Other elevator door opens.]

Webber:
Well go on.

Derek:
Hey! Come on in. This is a CT of Katie Bryce. 16 year old female, subarachnoid aneurysm.

Meredith:
From a fall during rhythmic gymnastics, I remember.

Derek:
It was the first surgery we ever scrubbed in together. Our first save. Right here is a cerebral cyst. Tough save, but we did it. I kissed you in the stairwell, after the surgery. And this right here is where Dr. Bailey kicked you out of the surgery because she caught us in your driveway in my car. [both laugh] And right here, this was a seven hour craniotomy and you held the clamp the entire time, never flinched. That's when I knew you were going to be an incredible surgeon. And right here, this is when I supervised you drilling a burr hole for the very first time. I was watching you more than I was watching the drilling, because I knew I'd fallen in love with you. Beth Monroe, made our clinical trial a success by surviving. You talked me into putting her under. That's when I knew I needed you. And this is today. Post op head CT of Izzie Stevens. See that, right there? Tumor free. Because of you. You got me into the OR. If there's a crisis you don't freeze. You move forward. You get the rest of us to move forward. Because you've seen worse. You've survived worse. And you know we'll survive too. You say you're all dark and twisty. It's not a flaw. It's a strength. It makes you who you are. I'm not going to get down on one knee. I'm not going to ask a question. I love you Meredith Grey. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you.

Meredith:
And I want to spend the rest of my life with you.

Alex:
[voiceover]: Doesn't matter how tough we are, trauma always leaves a scar. It follows us home, it changes our lives, trauma messes everybody up, but maybe that's the point. All the pain and the fear and the crap. Maybe going through all of that is what keeps us moving forward. It's what pushes us. Maybe we have to get a little messed up, before we can step up.

Meredith:
[voiceover] Defeat isn't an option. Not for surgeons. We don't back away from the table til the last breath's long gone. Terminal's a challenge, life threatening's what gets us out of bed in the morning. We're not easily intimidated, we don't flinch, we don't back down and we certainly don't surrender, not at work anyway.

Meredith:
[looking at the engagement ring Derek gave her] Does it bother you that I don't want to wear it? Because I could.

Derek:
I don't want you to wear it. You're not a ring bride. [Meredith looks at him] What?

Meredith:
I'm not really a church wedding bride or a poofy-white-dress bride either.

Derek:
We'll get naked and get married in a field of flowers.

Meredith:
[laughs] I'm not a naked bride.

Derek:
What about scrubs? We can get married in scrubs.

Meredith:
Ooh, now there's a wedding I could get into.

Cristina:
Get a crash cart. Izzie Stevens's room. [Cristina checks her pulse. Izzie starts laughing] What?

Izzie:
Oh my god, I'm sorry. You should see your face right now, it's your totally freaking out face.

Cristina:
You're joking? This is a joke?

Izzie:
I'm sorry. I really did need you though. Um, I have all these dresses here and I keep trying to page Meredith to come try them on and she won't answer the page. So, will you tell her to come in here. She'll listen to you.

Bailey:
Is there anything else you need before I go?

Arizona:
No. You wanna sit a while?

Bailey:
No, I do not want to sit. I've been sitting and lying down all day.

Arizona:
Dr. Bailey.

Bailey:
Holding a child. If I wanted to spend the day holding a child, I would have stayed home to hold my own child. I didn't do a single medical thing today. I didn't even put a band aid on a patient. I'm... I'm just tired. I'm done.

Arizona:
Are you gonna tell your husband?

Bailey:
What would I tell him?

Arizona:
That it's more than just cutting. Pedes is more than just cutting. And, what you did today was heroic, and you know it.

Bailey:
Ok. Maybe I'll tell him that.

Meredith:
[voiceover] To do our jobs, we have to believe defeat is not an option. That no matter how sick our patients get, there's hope for them. But even when our hopes give way to reality, and we finally have to surrender to the truth, it just means we've lost to today's battle, not tomorrow's war. Here's the thing about surrender, once you do it, actually give in, you forget why you were even fighting in the first place.

Meredith:
[voiceover] Remember when we were little and we would accidentally bite a kid on the playground. Our teachers would go, “Say you're sorry”, and we would say it, but we wouldn't mean it because the stupid kid we bit, totally deserved it. But as we get older, making amends isn't so simple. After the playground days are over you can't just say it, you have to mean it. Of course when you become a doctor, sorry is not a happy word. It either means you're dying and I can't help. Or it means this is really going to hurt.

Webber:
I see that you're angry with me, and may be angry with your mother.

Meredith:
Don't do that! I'm not your friend, and I'm not your family. You don't get to call me into your office on personal business, and you don't get to speak to me this way right now. It's an abuse of power. I'm a resident. I work for you. You have to speak to me like I'm a resident. And for the record Chief, somebody had to stand up for that little girl, and I make no apologies for that.

Webber:
You wanna just be a resident? Fine. Alright then. That woman is a victim of domestic violence. This hospital is supposed to be a safe place for her to come and tell her story. And as her doctors it is our job to help her. You did not do your job. Instead you further battered a battered woman.

Meredith:
What about the little girl!

Webber:
Dr. Grey! You will stay away from that child. You will stay away from that family. You will not come within 100 feet of them. And if you do, you will be suspended from this hospital pending reevaluation of your emotional and mental fitness for residency.

Meredith:
Oh great, is this another heart to heart?

Webber:
I know you don't like me, and you have every right not to like me, I have abused my power but now I'm here on your turf. What I need to say, what I need to say is, I saw what your mother was doing, I saw how neglected you were, I saw her drive your father off and I spent a lot of time beating myself up about that, but what does that do for you, nothing, nothing. I wasn't your advocate, I didn't fight for you, I never stood up for you. I let myself off the hook, I told myself I was young and didn't know any better, but I did know better, I wasn't much younger than you are now. I should've fought for you Meredith, like you fought for that child today. I told myself that I wasn't your father, that it wasn't my responsibility, that I was right not to but in, I let myself off the hook. You were helpless, you were a baby. A beautiful, smart, funny, little girl, and no one stood up for you. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry.

Cristina:
Nice work today? Seriously?

Owen:
I'm sorry?

Cristina:
'Run to my truck.' You've got O'Malley clipping bleeders and you're telling me to run to your truck.

Owen:
You know what my truck looks like. O'Malley doesn't. And that- that run you took, it saved a guy's life.

Cristina:
Yeah, well, all day... all day you were teaching O'Malley and you ignored me.

Owen:
O'Malley wants to be a trauma surgeon. You've already declared cardio. I didn't do anything wrong today. I treated you like I would anyone else.

Cristina:
No, not like anyone else. 'Take care now.' What is that? What are you, like, you know, happy now? What- what are you? You know, just a "choke 'em and forget 'em" kinda guy? [Owen hands her a card] "Hey there now. Take care now. Nice work, Yang." What is this?

Owen:
It's my shrink. My shrink gave me these sentences. We, uh, we came up with them together. They're all 3-word sentences so I'd have something to say to you instead of the three words that are... that are killing me. The three words that you know I feel but I can't say them, because it would be cruel to say them because I am no good for you. I don't want to torture you. I don't want to look at you longingly when I know I can't be with you. So, yeah, I'm smiling and I'm saying 'take care now.' I'm letting you off the hook. I'm trying. I'm trying so hard to let you off the hook. I'm trying to make it right, what I did to you. Can't you see that? I'm just trying to make it right.

Cristina:
Take care now.

Meredith:
[voiceover] As doctors we can't undo our mistakes, and we rarely forgive ourselves for them, but it's a hazard of the trade. But as human beings we can always try to do better, to be better, to right a wrong even when it feels irreversible. Of course, "I'm sorry" doesn't always cut it. Maybe because we use it so many different ways: as a weapon, as an excuse. But when we are really sorry. When we use it right. When we mean it. When our actions say what words never can. When we get it right, "I'm sorry" is perfect. When we get it right, "I'm sorry" is redemption.

Cristina:
[excitedly] Big day. Biggest day of your life.

Meredith:
Don't do that. Don't do the peppy maid of honor thing. It's creepy.

Cristina:
[drops her facade] Really? Good. [looks at Meredith] Wait, is this, like the calm before the storm? Do you need me to drug you or shave off your eyebrows to numb you into submission?

Webber:
We'll be out of here in plenty of time for the wedding.

Mark:
Good. Then she won't have any excuses.

Meredith:
Excuse me?

Mark:
This is the second time I've been Derek's best man. I have to come up with a toast, offer some words of wisdom. It's a lot of work. I don't want to have to be his best man a third time if you know what I mean.

Meredith:
So you came in here to threaten me?

Mark:
I'm his best man. That's my job.

Meredith:
Alex.

Alex:
Bailey says Shepherd found another tumor, in Izzie's brain. Did you hear?

Meredith:
I heard. Alex.

Alex:
He doesn't think he's gonna get it out this time. I think... [crying] I think she's gonna die on me. I think she's really gonna die. Ugh! What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be getting ready for a wedding?

Meredith:
Well, that's what I came to talk to you about.

Alex:
Today's the day my life begins. All my life I've been just me, just a smart-mouthed kid. Today I become a man. Today I become a husband. Today I become accountable to someone other than myself. Today I become accountable to you, to our future, to all the possibilities that our marriage has to offer. Together no matter what happens, I'll be ready. For anything. For everything. To take on life. To take on love. To take on the possibility and responsibility. Today Izzie Stevens, our life together begins. And I for one, can't wait.

Izzie:
You never know the biggest day of your life is the biggest day. Not until it's happening. You don't recognize the biggest day of your life, not until you're right in the middle of it. The day you commit to something or someone. The day you get your heart broken. The day you meet your soul mate. The day you realize there's not enough time, because you wanna live forever. Those are the biggest days. The perfect days. You know?

Denny:
I bet you made a beautiful bride.

Izzie:
It was a beautiful day.

Alex:
You put the scarf on. I told you, you don't need it. You look gorgeous without it.

Denny:
He's right.

Izzie:
Go away now. Go away, I wanna be alone with my husband.

Alex:
[Takes off her scarf, and kisses her forehead] My wife is hot! [Izzie giggles and smiles]

Meredith:
[voiceover] When something begins, you generally have no idea how it's going to end. The house you're going to sell becomes your home, the roommates you were forced to take in become your family and the one night stand you were determined to forget becomes the love of your life.

Denny:
Nice ring. Alex outdid himself.

Izzie:
We're gonna have beautiful kids, don't you think? Is four too many?

Denny:
Four is perfect.

Izzie:
Ideally it would be two boys, and two girls. One of which would definitely be a tom boy. And I was thinking I should have them pretty close together, though that might be stupid.

Denny:
Why wait?

Izzie:
Exactly. That way if I'm not able to practice medicine anymore...

Denny:
You won't want to.

Izzie:
You don't think?

Denny:
Do you?

Izzie:
I'm asking you. Why do you keep agreeing with everything I say?

Denny:
Because I am you. I'm your tumor. You're talking to yourself.

Izzie:
Right.

Denny:
At least until you have surgery. If you have surgery. Are you gonna have surgery?

Izzie:
If Derek cuts the tumor out I could lose my memory, and if he doesn't I can die. I don't know what to do. Alex, tell me what to do.

Alex:
Iz, I can't tell you what to do.

Izzie:
Of course you can, you're my husband. That's what husbands do, they stomp around telling their wives what to do. It's your job.

Alex:
My job is to support whatever you wanna do.

Izzie:
I don't know what I wanna do. That's why I'm asking you. OK, I have an idea. Let's put it to a vote. All in favor of the surgery.

Meredith:
No. We're not voting. No ones... no ones voting.

Izzie:
Opposed?

Cristina:
I'm opposed... to voting.

Izzie:
Just decide for me. Please?

Alex:
You don't have to know right now. Think about it.

Izzie:
I don't have time.

Swinder:
The test impaired your memory to such a degree that I have to strongly recommend you don't have the surgery.

Derek:
Izzie, the test was the worst case scenario. The result has nothing to do with the surgery.

Swinder:
We don't know that.

Derek:
But what I do know is that not operating is every bit as risky as the surgery itself. If not more. But, it's up to you.

Izzie:
What do you think?

Alex:
I think he's talking to you, not me.

Derek:
I'll leave you two alone to discuss this.

Alex:
Ah, I'll come with you. I have a couple of questions.

Izzie:
Wait, Alex.

Alex:
Think about what you want to do for a second, OK? I'll be right back. [everyone but Meredith leaves the room. Meredith closes the door]

Meredith:
You are not having the surgery!

Meredith:
[voiceover] We spend our whole lives worrying about the future, planning for the future, trying to predict the future, as if figuring it out will somehow cushion the blow. But the future is always changing. The future is the home of our deepest fears and our wildest hopes. But one thing is certain when it finally reveals itself, the future is never the way we imagined it.

Meredith:
[voiceover] Doctors spend a lot of time focused on the future, planning it, working toward it. But at some point you start to realize your life is happening now. Not after med school, not after residency, right now. This is it. It's here. Blink and you'll miss it.

Cristina:
She just had brain surgery, and an incredibly aggressive course of IL2. She needs rest.

Alex:
She needs to exercise whatever memory she's got left before it all turns to mush.

Cristina:
Well she's not going to heal with you barking orders at her like a caveman.

Alex:
Butt out Yang.

Cristina:
You know what she's my patient. I don't care if you’re her husband.

Alex:
Look, she...

Cristina:
You wanna see how fast I can get your visiting hours down to zero?

Alex:
She signed a DNR. She signed a fricking DNR and made me promise me she'd come out of this with a life, not in a hospital bed, not with no brain. I had to promise she'd have a life. You wanna know what happens if she can't make any new memories? Forget about being a doctor. She's going to need round the clock baby sitters. We get an apartment together, she can't ever find her way to the damn toilet, track her on her ankle in case god forbids, she wanders out the front door!

Cristina:
Alex, you can handle this, she will get better.

Alex:
Maybe, maybe not. It's on me. Her future is on me.

Meredith:
How's she doing? Any better?

Cristina:
No.

Meredith:
Damn. Well, I'm going to city hall to go do the thing.

Cristina:
Seriously? It doesn't seem like the day for it.

Meredith:
Look at Alex. He's in there working so hard all day, and she doesn't know. And, if she stays like this she may never know how much he loves her. And that girl Amanda, she's in there loving a stranger. She thinks that's her Prince Charming. I mean, he's probably gonna die today. Chances are. So yeah, I'm gonna go get married, because I think it's important to take the time to tell the people you love how much you love them while they can hear you. I love you Cristina Yang. [smiles]

Cristina:
You have changed.

Meredith:
Mmmm... Maybe I have. What?

Cristina:
I'm gonna hug you.

Derek:
Meredith...

Meredith:
No, you know let's go, we gotta go. We gotta run to city hall, we'll come back, you'll check on Izzie, we'll monitor John Doe, I'll go talk George out of joining the army!

Derek:
Look, we can do this another day-

Meredith:
There is no other day! Everyday is like this, everyday there's a crisis, there's no time.

Derek:
Meredith...

Meredith:
I love you and I do want to marry you, today. But there is no time.

Derek:
[Cups her face with his hands] Do you have a piece of paper?

Meredith:
For what?

Derek:
I want to be with you forever. And you want to be with me forever. In order to do that, we need to make vows. A commitment. A contract. Give me, a piece of paper.

Meredith:
I don't! I-I-I don't... I have post-its. [Hands him posts-its and a pen. Derek goes and sits on the bench]

Derek:
Okay... what do we want to promise each other?

Meredith:
That you'll love me, even when you hate me.

Derek:
To love each other... even when we hate each other. [writes it down on the post-its] No running. Ever. Nobody walks out. [Meredith joins him on the benches] No matter what happens.

Meredith:
No running.

Derek:
What else?

Meredith:
That we'll take care of each other even when we're old and smelly and senile. And... if I get Alzheimer's and I forget you...

Derek:
I will you remind you who I am, every day. [They smile at each other] To take care when old, senile, smelly. This is forever. [Derek finishes writing on the post-it, then gives it and the pen to Meredith] Sign.

Meredith:
This is our wedding? A post-it?

Derek:
Mhmm. Well, if you sign it. [Meredith signs it happily and then hands it back to Derek]

Meredith:
Now what?

Derek:
Now, I kiss the bride. [He kisses her tenderly. Meredith's smiling as they kiss. Then Derek slowly pulls back]

Meredith:
Married.

Derek:
Married. [Derek puts the post-it note with their vows and signatures on the back of her cubby, then turns to her] You see that? Plenty of time.

Meredith:
[voiceover] Did you say it? "I love you. I don't ever want to live without you. You changed my life." Did you say it? Make a plan. Set a goal. Work toward it, but every now and then, look around. Drink it in 'cause this is it. It might all be gone tomorrow.