WandaVision

[Wanda is levitating dishes onto a shelf. Vision walks in and a dish hits his head, breaking it into pieces.]

Vision:
My wife and her flying saucers.

Wanda Maximoff:
My husband and his indestructible head.

Agnes:
Hello, dear. I'm Agnes, your neighbor to the right. My right, not yours. Forgive me for not stopping by sooner to welcome you to the block. My mother-in-law was in town, so I wasn't. So, what's your name? Where are you from? And most importantly, how's your bridge game, hon?

Wanda Maximoff:
I'm Wanda.

Agnes:
Wanda. Charmed. Golly, you settled in fast! Did you use a moving company?

Wanda Maximoff:
I sure did. Those boxes don't move themselves!

Agnes:
So what's a single gal like you doing rattling around this big house?

Wanda Maximoff:
Oh, no, I'm not single.

Agnes:
Oh, I don't see a ring.

Wanda Maximoff:
Well, I assure you, I'm married. To a man. A human one and tall.

[Vision is at work at Computational Services, Inc.]

Vision:
Would you be so good as to tell me what it is we do here, exactly? Do we make something?

Norm:
No.

Vision:
Right. Do we buy or sell something?

Norm:
No and no.

Vision:
Then what is the purpose of this company?

Norm:
All I know is, since you've gotten here, productivity has gone up 300%.

Vision:
Yes, but what is it we're producing?

Norm:
Computational forms. And no one can process the data quite like you do, pal. You're like a walking computer.

Vision:
What? I most certainly am not! I'm a regular carbon-based employee made entirely of organic matter, much like yourself, Norm.

Wanda Maximoff:
We are an unusual couple, you know?

Vision:
Oh, I don't think that was ever in question.

[Wanda "magics" wedding rings onto her and Vision's fingers.]

Vision:
I do. Do you?

Wanda Maximoff:
Yes. I do.

Vision:
And they lived happily ever after.

[They kiss as show credits roll.]

Vision:
[practicing a talent-show magic act] Wanda, you're not at all worried that the audience might just see through this little charade?

Wanda Maximoff:
Well, that's the whole point! In a real magic act, everything is fake! Darling, the talent show fundraiser is the most important event of the season, and it's our neighborly duty to participate. Plus, it's our chance to appear as normal as possible while doing so.

Vision:
[pointing to his android face] Well, I don't think that should be a problem.

Wanda Maximoff:
This is our home now. I want us to fit in.

Dottie Jones:
The devil's in the details, Bev.

Agnes:
That's not the only place he is.

Agnes:
[aside to Wanda, regarding Dottie's meeting] How is anyone doing this sober?

[Dottie has cut her palm on broken glass. Wanda quickly covers it with a cloth dinner napkin.]

Dottie Jones:
Pop quiz, Wanda. How does a housewife get a bloodstain out of white linen? [a beat] By doing it herself.

Vision:
Hello, Westview! Good afternoon. It's so lovely to be ...[bumping into a handrail] I'm so sorry. Excuse me. I am Glamour, and this is my delightful assistant, Illusion.

Wanda Maximoff:
I am Glamour and he's Illusion.

Vision:
Yeah, what she said. Today, we will lie to you, and yet you will believe our little deceptions because human beings are easily fooled due to their limited understanding of the inner workings of the universe.

Dr. Nielsen:
We let the little ladies keep tabs on their growing babies with fruit. Makes it simple for them. [Wanda grimaces at the sexism] At four months, the fetus is about as big as a pear. At five months, a papaya. Six, grapefruit. Seven, pineapple. Eight, honeydew.

Vision:
Hypothetically speaking, what size fruit would it be at, say, hmm, twelve hours?

Dr. Nielsen:
[confused] Uh, pardon? Twelve hours?

Wanda Maximoff:
[brightly] Well, I think this line of questioning is 'fruitless'. [chuckles]

Vision:
Huh. Strangest thing just happened outside with... [turns to see Wanda's bump has grown larger] Whoa, Nelly! Have you gotten bigger?!

Wanda Maximoff:
Have I?

[Wanda turns around and knocks into a bowl of fruit with her belly. Vision moves at super-speed and catches the papaya.]

Wanda Maximoff:
[continuing, looking down] I can't tell from this angle.

Vision:
I can't wait... [chuckles] ...to be a proud papa-ya.

Vision:
Well, if that was the first kick, that puts you at about... six months! Boy, oh, boy, I thought I had superspeed. I can't keep up! [baby talk] Please don't misinterpret; I can't wait to meet you, little Billy.

Wanda Maximoff:
"Billy"?

Vision:
Yeah.

Wanda Maximoff:
Well, I was thinking "Tommy". Just a nice, classic, all-American name.

Vision:
Hmm, "Tommy". Hmm, yeah. Yeah. Then there's "Billy", isn't there? Named after William Shakespeare. "All the world's a stage. All the men and women merely players."

Wanda Maximoff:
Well, I guess there's only one solution to this debate. Hope for a girl.

Vision:
Well, we ought to decide soon. I estimate the baby's due... it's not a constant progression, assumingly logarithmic, but were I to graph the fetal development thus far...

Wanda Maximoff:
He's gonna be here before you figure it out.

Geraldine:
Can you believe it? Twins! Hi.

Wanda Maximoff:
...I'm a twin. [forlornly] I had a brother. His name was...Pietro.

[Wanda sings to the babies is Sokovian]

Geraldine:
[confused] He was killed by Ultron, wasn't he?

Wanda Maximoff:
...What did you say? Just now? [a single tear rolls down Wanda's face]

Geraldine:
I said...Wanda, you're such a strong lady. Should I say it one more time, for good measure?

Wanda Maximoff:
No. What did you say about Pietro?

Geraldine:
Pietro? [thinks] Hey, I'll take a shift rocking the babies-

Wanda Maximoff:
No, I think you should leave.

Geraldine:
Oh Wanda, don't be like that!

[Wanda sees the SWORD pendant on "Geraldine"]

Wanda Maximoff:
What is that?

Geraldine:
What?

Wanda Maximoff:
[gestures to the pendant] That symbol.

Geraldine:
I [stammers], I—

[Monica Rambeau meets Jimmy Woo on the outskirts of Westview]

Monica Rambeau:
What's the story here, Agent Woo?

Jimmy Woo:
Uh, I've got a witness set up down the road in Westview, and this morning, it looked like he flew the coop.

Monica Rambeau:
Your missing person is in the Witness Protection Program?

Jimmy Woo:
I have contacted known associates, relatives...

Monica Rambeau:
And let me guess, none of them have seen him either?

Jimmy Woo:
No. None of them have ever heard of him. Something seemed hanky to me, so I took the first flight out of Oakland to interface with local law enforcement, which is when I encountered a new wrinkle.

Monica Rambeau:
What is that?

Jimmy Woo:
[turns to the Sheriff of Eastview] Pardon me, Sheriff. Would you mind repeating your claim about Westview to my colleague here?

Sheriff:
[with a billboard reading "Welcome to Westview" behind him] No such place.

Monica Rambeau:
You're saying the town of Westview, New Jersey doesn't exist?

Sheriff:
It's what I keep telling your G-Man here, but he won't listen.

Monica Rambeau:
I see. And, um, I'm sorry, what ... What town are you from?

Sheriff:
Eastview.

Jimmy Woo:
Thank you, Sheriff. I'll reach out if we need any further assistance.

Jimmy Woo:
This isn't a missing person's case, Captain Rambeau, it's a missing town. Population 3,892.

Monica Rambeau:
Why haven't you gone inside to investigate?

Jimmy Woo:
'Cause it doesn't want me to. You can feel it, too, can't you? [They both look down the road at the Westview outskirts] Nobody's supposed to go in.

Darcy Lewis:
FBI, Army. I saw the Air Force Office of Special Investigations out there. Research Lab. Space Command, too. A bona fide joint multi-service response. Really looking forward to the commemorative T-shirt.

Jimmy Woo:
We don't know enough about the nature of the threat to send in another agent when the first is yet to return.

Tyler Hayward:
Someone must really miss you back at Quantico.

Jimmy Woo:
[snidely] No, sir. Softball season's over, sir.

Tyler Hayward:
[regarding the WandaVision broadcast] Is it authentic?

Darcy Lewis:
I'm not sure how to answer that.

Tyler Hayward:
Is it happening in real time? Is it recorded, fabricated?

Darcy Lewis:
I don't know. I don't know. And I don't know.

Tyler Hayward:
What do you know?

Darcy Lewis:
My equipment registered an extremely high level of CMBR. That's...

Tyler Hayward:
Relic radiation dating back to the Big Bang.

Darcy Lewis:
Yeah. Entwined was a broadcast frequency. So I had your goons pick me up a sweet vintage TV. And when I plug this bad boy in, voilà, sound and picture.

Jimmy Woo:
So you're saying the universe created a sitcom starring two Avengers?

Darcy Lewis:
It's a working theory.

[Jimmy and Darcy are watching WandaVision episode 3 as Wanda gives birth.]

Darcy Lewis:
[emotional] Twins. What a twist. [off Jimmy's look] What? I'm invested. [sniffles]

[Monica has broken character in front of Wanda by mentioning Pietro's death]

Wanda Maximoff:
Who are you?

Monica Rambeau:
[slipping out of character] I...don't remember. [Wanda steps menacingly towards Monica]

Wanda Maximoff:
[in a harsh whisper] Who...are you?

Monica Rambeau:
[forces a smile] Wanda, I'm just your neighbor.

Wanda Maximoff:
Then how could you know about Ultron? [she conjures telekinetic energy in both of her hands] You're not my neighbor. And you're definitely not my friend. You are a stranger. An outsider. And right now, you are trespassing here. And I want you to leave. [she throws a bolt of energy at Monica, who is thrown backwards through the wall, two fences, and the Hex barrier]

Wanda Maximoff:
[trying to comfort a crying baby Tommy] Please, sweet Tommy, don't you wanna sleep? Mommy wants to sleep. If you go to sleep, I promise, you will be my favorite twin!

Vision:
[coming down the stairs with a crying baby Billy] Oh, come on now, darling. You know we love them both equally.

Wanda Maximoff:
Well, don't tell him that! [Vision chuckles] No luck with Billy?

Vision:
Tried reading to him, but for some reason, Charles Darwin's The Descent of Man made him cry even harder.

[Wanda finds Tommy and Billy in the kitchen, where they're giving Sparky a makeshift bath in the sink]

Wanda Maximoff:
You know, I don't miss the crying, but jeez Louise, did you have to learn to walk? You two never stay put. [Wanda narrows her eyes at the twins, suspicious at how still they're standing] ...Unless you're "innocently" forming a human wall in front of the kitchen sink. [The dog sneezes] Bless you!

Billy and Tommy Maximoff:
Thank you. [the dog barks]

Wanda Maximoff:
Now tell me, which one of you just barked? Scoot! [The boys step off the stools, and Wanda notices the dog] Oh, boy! Waiter, what's this canine doing in my kitchen sink?

Tommy Maximoff:
The doggy paddle?

Billy Maximoff:
Can we keep him, Mommy?

Wanda Maximoff:
Well, I'm sure his owners miss him very much. Come on. [lifting the dog out of the sink] Huh, there really is no collar.

Billy Maximoff:
Can we keep him? He was outside, crying, alone.

Wanda Maximoff:
Now boys, taking care of a living thing is a big responsibility. Dogs need food, exercise, training ...[slips into baby talk] belly rubs, and cuddles, and kisses between his little ears!

[SWORD has sent a drone in to talk to Wanda]

Monica Rambeau:
Wanda, this is Captain Monica Rambeau. Can you hear me? [Wanda glares up at the drone] I just want to talk. That's it. [As she watches, Wanda's eyes glow a bright red]

Tyler Hayward:
No joy.

Monica Rambeau:
Uh...my controls aren't working. Reconnect patch!

Tyler Hayward:
[to another agent] Disregard. Take the shot.

Monica Rambeau:
What? No, the drone isn't armed.

Tyler Hayward:
Take the shot!

[The drone operator fires the missile. Just as quickly, the feed goes dead]

Monica Rambeau:
[rips off her headset; to Hayward] What did you do?!

[An alarm goes off]

S.W.O.R.D. agent:
There's a breach, sir!

[Everyone piles out of the room, gets into their cars, and drives to the spot of the breach. After several seconds of waiting, the Hex barrier flickers a few times. Wanda emerges, dragging the drone behind her as she marches towards the S.W.O.R.D. agents]

Wanda Maximoff:
Is this yours?! [Wanda tosses the drone at Hayward's feet]

Tyler Hayward:
The missile was just a precaution. You can hardly blame us, Wanda.

Wanda Maximoff:
Oh, I think I can. This will be your only warning: Stay out of my home. You don't bother me, I won't bother you.

Tyler Hayward:
I wish it could be that simple. You've taken an entire town hostage.

Wanda Maximoff:
I'm not the one with the guns, Director!

Monica Rambeau:
But you are the one in control.

Wanda Maximoff:
[irritated] You're still here. [Wanda conjures a ball of energy in her right hand]

Monica Rambeau:
Wanda, I didn't know the drones were armed. But you know that, don't you? A town full of civilians and you, a telepath, brought a S.W.O.R.D. agent into your home. You trusted me to help deliver your babies! On some level, Wanda, you know I am an ally. I want to help you.

Wanda Maximoff:
How? What could you possibly have to offer me?

Monica Rambeau:
What do you want?

Wanda Maximoff:
I have what I want. [glares at Hayward] And no one will ever take it from me, again.

Wanda Maximoff:
[about the boys' grief over Sparky's death] The urge to run from this feeling is powerful. I know.

Billy Maximoff:
It's too sad.

Tommy Maximoff:
You can fix anything, Mom. Fix the dead.

Wanda Maximoff:
[shocked] What?.... no.

Agnes:
[amazed] You can do that?

Wanda Maximoff:
I am trying to tell you... that there are rules in life, okay? We can't rush aging just because it's convenient. [chuckles] And we can't reverse death. No matter how sad it makes us. Okay? Some things are forever.

[Vision decides to confront Wanda about what happened to him at work]

Vision:
I spoke with Norm.

Wanda Maximoff:
...Oh?

Vision:
I unearthed the man's suppressed personality and I spoke to him free of your oversight. He was in pain, Wanda.

Wanda Maximoff:
Vision... [chuckles lightly] Listen, can we just--

Vision:
What? Watch TV? Turn in for the night so you can change everything over again? No, Wanda. You can't control me the way you do them.

Wanda Maximoff:
[meaningfully] ...Can't I? [walks out of the room as the credits start to roll] I'm going to bed!

Vision:
No! We're not done here! [Wanda stops in her tracks] What is the Maximoff Anomaly?

Wanda Maximoff:
The what?

Vision:
I have to believe that this [gestures to the closing credits scrolling across the screen], whatever this is, was subconscious at first, and that you only recently became aware of it.

Wanda Maximoff:
Aware of...what? [Wanda exits into the other room. Vision follows her, shifting back to his synthezoid form. The credits glitch out]

Vision:
[angrily] Norm has a FAMILY, Wanda! He has a family and he can’t reach them because YOU WON'T LET HIM REACH THEM!

Wanda Maximoff:
I don't know what you're talking about!

Vision:
[levitates into the air] STOP LYING TO ME!!!

Wanda Maximoff:
[levitates to match Vision] This! All of this is for us. So let me handle it!

Vision:
[angered] What is outside of Westview?!

Wanda Maximoff:
You don't want to know, I promise you!

Vision:
YOU DON'T GET TO MAKE THAT CHOICE FOR ME, WANDA!

Wanda Maximoff:
[distressed] You've never talked to me like this before! [lowers herself back to the floor]

Vision:
Before what!? Before WHAT!? I can't remember my life before Westview! I don't know who I am! I'm scared!

Wanda Maximoff:
[fighting back tears] You are my husband. You're Tommy and Billy's father. Isn't that enough? [Vision lowers himself to the floor, allowing Wanda to take his hands in hers]

Vision:
[glances out the window] ...Wanda, why are there no other children in Westview?

Wanda Maximoff:
[scoffs] Oh, god! There are! Just stop it!

Vision:
No, no. The playground stands empty every morning I walk to work. Why? Tell me, why-

Wanda Maximoff:
[exasperated] Do you really think that I am controlling everything?! That I-I am somehow in charge of everybody in Westview?! I'm walking their dogs, mowing their lawns, getting them to dentist appointments on time?! I mean, I...[scoffs]...I don't know how any of this started in the first place!

Vision:
Wanda, what you're doing here, it's wrong.

Wanda Maximoff:
I...

Vision:
It is wrong. [the doorbell rings]

Wanda Maximoff:
I didn't do that. I...[seeing his look] You don't believe me.

Vision:
Wanda, I want to, but at this point, I'm ignoring statistics entirely.

"Pietro":
Long lost bro get to squeeze his stinkin' sister to death or what?

Vision:
Well, you have fun tonight, darling.

Wanda Maximoff:
What? What do you mean? You're all dressed and ready to go.

Vision:
I'm undercover. Halloween is a bacchanal for adolescent trouble-makers, and the neighborhood watch is the only thing standing between the trees and the toilet paper.

"Pietro":
Where do you keep your water balloons?

Wanda:
What? We don't have water balloons.

"Pietro":
Well where are we gonna put all the shaving cream?

Wanda:
Oh?

"Pietro":
It was Billy's idea!

Tommy:
I'm Tommy!

"Pietro":
And don't you forget it!

Billy:
Are you old Red Riding Hood?

Wanda:
I'm a Sokovian fortune teller.

"Pietro":
Wow. That is so...

Tommy:
Rad!

"Pietro":
...Lame.

Tommy:
Lame.

Tommy:
Next stop, Cavity Town!

"Pietro":
Right on, little dude! Chip off the old maximum block, you got superspeed!

Tommy:
I do?!

"Pietro":
Yeah!

Tommy:
Next house, Mom!

"Pietro":
Junior entrepreneur over here! How 'bout you let your Uncle Pete maximize your candy acquisition, eh?

"Pietro":
So lame. I can’t believe you’re making them return all the candy.

Wanda:
I can’t believe what a bad influence you are!

"Pietro":
Who beefed in your borscht?

Wanda:
You know, he was the one...he had the...he had the skin thing.

"Pietro":
You're testing me!

Wanda:
No I'm not!

Darcy Lewis:
Hey, there he is. The guy who almost got murdered by his own murder squad.

Tyler Hayward:
[regards Darcy] You work for me?

Darcy Lewis:
I actually don't know.

Monica Rambeau:
She's with me.

Tyler Hayward:
I see. And which one of you is the sassy best friend?

Darcy Lewis:
You can't go back into the Hex.

Monica Rambeau:
Worst case scenario, Wanda removes my free will and puts me in ultra-low rise jeans.

[Vision has temporarily released Agnes from Wanda's control and is looking for answers]

Agnes:
Am I dead?

Vision:
[reassuringly] No, no. Why would you think that?

Agnes:
Because you are.

Vision:
[confused] Because I'm what...?

Agnes:
Dead. Dead! Dead! Dead!

Vision:
[being torn apart from leaving the Hex] Help! The people need help!

"Pietro":
Hey, don't sweat it, sis. It's not like your dead husband can die twice.

Wanda Maximoff:
Look, we've all been there, right? Letting our fear and anger get the best of us? Intentionally expanding the borders of the false world we created... [cut to fleeing S.W.O.R.D agents being swallowed up by the expanding Hex, filmed in mockumentary style with percussive heavy music]

Darcy Lewis:
[having had her true personality restored by Vision] Oh, hello, self. You know, part of me secretly wanted a guest spot on the show, but seriously, that sucked.

[Vision and Darcy are driving to Westview]

Vision:
So if I understand correctly, my original code dates back to an AI called J.A.R.V.I.S.. But my corporeal form was born of Ultron's plan for global genocide?

Darcy Lewis:
Correct-o

Vision:
What am I now?

Darcy Lewis:
Honestly, I'm a STEM type of lady, so I thought she just flipped a switch on your head and brought you back to life, but... what I don't get is why you can't leave the Hex. [Vision's expression saddens] What I do know is I've been watching WandaVision for the past week, and the love you two have is real. You belong together.

[Monica tracks down Wanda to her house in Westview]

Monica Rambeau:
Wanda? Wanda!

Wanda Maximoff:
What are you doing?

Monica Rambeau:
Wanda-

Wanda Maximoff:
How did you get in here?!

Monica Rambeau:
Listen to me. This whole thing, it's about Vision-

Wanda Maximoff:
[seething] Get out of my house!

Monica Rambeau:
Hayward was trying to bring him b- [Wanda grabs Monica and flings her out of the house, levitating her over the sidewalk]

Wanda Maximoff:
DON'T TALK TO ME ABOUT THAT! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT IT! THE DRONES! THE MISSILES! PIETRO! [laughs darkly]

Monica Rambeau:
What, Pietro? No-no-no-no, that wasn't us!

Wanda Maximoff:
[snarling] ALL YOU DO IS LIE!!! [Wanda shoves Monica into the sidewalk. Monica lands on the concrete, her eyes crackling with energy as she gets back on her feet]

Monica Rambeau:
The only lies I've told are the ones you put in my mouth!

Wanda Maximoff:
[conjures energy in her hands] Careful what you say to me.

Monica Rambeau:
Do it then. Take me out. [Wanda's complexion falters, horrified by the suggestion] It's easy. That's where you and Hayward differ. He's going to burn Westview to the ground just to get what he wants. Don't let him make you the villain!

Wanda Maximoff:
Maybe I already am. [Agatha looks out her window, investigating the commotion]

Monica Rambeau:
Wanda, you have to trust me.

Wanda Maximoff:
I can't.

Monica Rambeau:
I'm not afraid of you, Wanda. I lost the person closest to me, too. The worst thing I can think of has already happened to me. And I can't change it. I can't undo it. I can't control this pain anymore, and I don't think I want to, because it's my truth. [There's a pause as Wanda processes Monica's words] Wanda- [Agatha walks over]

Agatha Harkness:
Young lady, I think you overstayed your welcome. Poor Wanda's been through enough.

Monica Rambeau:
This doesn't concern you. [Agatha puts her hands on Wanda's shoulders]

Agatha Harkness:
Oh yeah? Run along, dear. [Agatha begins steering Wanda towards her house]

Monica Rambeau:
Wanda, you have to take it down!

Wanda Maximoff:
[points a finger at Monica] No! Don't make me hurt you.

[ from musical theme song "Agatha All Along!" ]

Agatha Harkness:
And I killed Sparky, too! Official videoclip

Agatha Harkness:
I can be good!

Evanora Harkness:
No, you can not.

Agatha Harkness:
[regarding Wanda's memory of the HYDRA lab where she gained her powers] Ah. Wanda, the rebellious years. Quick question: your reaction to the bombing of your civilian apartment building and the murder of your parents was to join an anti-freedom terrorist organization?

Wanda Maximoff:
We wanted to change the world.

[Vision finds Wanda in her bedroom at the Avengers Compound, lost in her grief over her brother's death]

Vision:
Wanda, I don't presume to know what you're feeling. But I would like to know, should you wish to tell me, should that be of some comfort to you?

Wanda Maximoff:
What makes you think that talking about it would bring me comfort?

Vision:
Oh, see, I read that...

Wanda Maximoff:
The only thing that would bring me comfort is seeing him again. [Vision falls silent] I'm sorry. I'm so tired. [Wanda wipes tears from her eyes] It's, it's just like this wave washing over me, again and again. It knocks me down, and when I try to stand up, it just comes for me again. And I ... It's just gonna drown me.

Vision:
No. No, it won't.

Wanda Maximoff:
How do you know?

Vision:
Well, because it can't all be sorrow, can it? I've always been alone, so I don't feel the lack. It's all I've ever known. I've never experienced loss because I have never had a loved one to lose. But what is grief, if not love persevering?

[Wanda barges into Hayward's office, seeking reclaim Vision's remains]

Tyler Hayward:
Wanda Maximoff. It’s an honor to meet you. Truly.

Wanda Maximoff:
Who are you?

Tyler Hayward:
Director Tyler Hayward. I... understand you’re here to see the Vision, to... recover the body, that is. Is that right?

Wanda Maximoff:
Well, I’m his next of kin.

Tyler Hayward:
I understand. I’d like to show you something.

Wanda Maximoff:
And then you’ll give him to me?

Tyler Hayward:
Please, just come with me.

[He ushers Wanda over to a viewing gallery connected to his office, overlooking a lab. Down below, technicians are operating on Vision's dissected body]

Wanda Maximoff:
What is this? Why are you showing me this?

Tyler Hayward:
Because you asked to see it.

[Wanda steels herself to look down into the lab again. She notices Vision's limbs and head have been separated from his torso, connected only by electrical wiring. One tech begins tracing the area around the crater in his forehead where the Mind Stone resided]

Wanda Maximoff:
[shuddering] Stop...stop... stop it! [turns to Hayward] What... what are you doing to him?!

Tyler Hayward:
We're dismantling the most sophisticated, sentient weapon ever made.

Wanda Maximoff:
Vision's not a weapon! You can't do this!

Tyler Hayward:
In fact, it is our legal and ethical obligation.

Wanda Maximoff:
I just want to bury him! That's all I want!

Tyler Hayward:
Are you sure?

Wanda Maximoff:
[bewildered] Excuse me?!

Tyler Hayward:
Not everyone has the kind of power that can bring their soulmate back online. [Wanda glares at him] Forgive me, back to life.

Wanda Maximoff:
Well, I can't do that. That's... that's not why I'm here!

Tyler Hayward:
Okay. But I cannot allow you to take $3 billion worth of vibranium just to put it in the ground. So the best I can do is let you say goodbye to him here.

Wanda Maximoff:
[fighting back tears] He's all I have!

Tyler Hayward:
[coldly] Well that's just it, Wanda. He isn't yours.

[Wanda turns to the window, and shatters it, showering the lab with glass shards. She flies down to Vision's remains. Moments later, several SWORD security guards show up and train their guns on Wanda]

Tyler Hayward:
Fall back. It’s fine. Let her see for herself.

[The guards lower their guns. Wanda walks over to Vision's head and tries to project energy into the crater where the Mind Stone originally resided]

Wanda Maximoff:
[breaking into tears] I can't feel you. [softly] I can't feel you...

[Wanda finds Agatha holding her children hostage in the street]

Agatha Harkness:
You have no idea how dangerous you are. You're supposed to be a myth. A being capable of spontaneous creation, and here you are, using it to make breakfast for dinner.

Wanda Maximoff:
Let go of my children!

Agatha Harkness:
Oh, yes, your children. And Vision, and this whole little life you've made. This is Chaos Magic, Wanda, and that makes you the Scarlet Witch.

Agatha Harkness:
I take power from the undeserving. It's kind of my thing.

Monica Rambeau:
*bangs on a window* Wanda!

"Pietro":
Don't waste your breath, babe! No one can hear you from in here! *strums guitar dramatically*

Monica Rambeau:
What is this stuff?

"Pietro":
This is my man cave. Place to chillax, you know, while the Misses' is stirring up trouble.

Monica Rambeau:
Agnes doesn't live here, you do! You're... Ralph Bohner?

"Pietro"/Ralph:
Bohner, hehe.

[Wanda, Vision and their sons find themselves being ambushed by a combination of White Vision, SWORD agents, and Agatha]

Vision:
Listen, boys. Your mother and I never really prepared you for this.

Wanda Maximoff:
But you were born for it.

[The two Visions' battle takes them into the Westview library]

Hex Vision:
Why are you doing this?

White Vision:
My programming directive is to "destroy the Vision".

[Their fight progresses, until Hex Vision gets White Vision in a chokehold]

Hex Vision:
But I'm not the true Vision. Only a conditional Vision.

[White Vision phases out of the chokehold. Hex Vision heats up the laser in his forehead, prepared to fire, but White Vision doesn't do the same]

White Vision:
I request elaboration.

[The two Visions float around the rotunda in the center of the library]

Hex Vision:
You are familiar with the thought experiment the Ship of Theseus in the field of identity metaphysics?

White Vision:
Naturally. The Ship of Theseus is an artifact in a museum. Over time, its planks of wood rot and are replaced with new planks. When no original plank remains, is it still the Ship of Theseus?

Hex Vision:
Secondly, if those removed planks are restored and reassembled, free of the rot, is that the Ship of Theseus?

White Vision:
[frowns] Neither is the true ship. Both are the true ship.

Hex Vision:
Well, then, we are agreed.

White Vision:
But I do not have the Mind Stone.

Hex Vision:
And I do not have one single ounce of original material. Perhaps, the rot is the memories. The wear and tear are the voyages. The wood touched by Theseus himself.

White Vision:
I have not retained memories.

Hex Vision:
But you do have the data. It is merely being kept from you.

White Vision:
A weapon to be more easily controlled. But, certainly, you are the true Vision, for you believe yourself to be.

Hex Vision:
That was once the case. But upon meeting you, I have been disabused of that notion.

Agatha Harkness:
Wanda. You've never been up against another witch before. Don't you know there's a whole chapter dedicated to you in the Darkhold? That's the book of the damned! [Agatha materializes the Darkhold] "The Scarlet Witch is not born, she is forged. She has no coven, nor need of incantations."

Wanda Maximoff:
I'm not a witch! I don't cast spells! NO ONE TAUGHT ME MAGIC!

Agatha Harkness:
Your power exceeds that of the Sorcerer Supreme. It's your destiny to destroy the world.

Wanda Maximoff:
[throws up her arms in exasperation] I'm not what you say I am!

Agatha Harkness:
Oh really?

[Wanda has neutralized Agatha's magic by throwing up runes around the Hex]

Agatha Harkness:
Runes?

Wanda Maximoff:
"In a given space, only the witch who cast them can use her magic." Thanks for the lesson. But I don't need you to tell me who I am.

[Wanda is saying goodbye to Hex Vision]

Vision:
Wanda, I know we can't stay like this. But before I go, I feel I must know: What am I?

Wanda Maximoff:
You, Vision, are the piece of the Mind Stone that lives in me. You are a body of wires and blood and bone that I created. You are my sadness and my hope. And mostly you're my love.

Vision:
I have been a voice with no body, a body but not human, and now a memory made real. Who knows what I might be next?

[They look out the window to see the collapsing Hex wall approaching.]

Vision:
We have said goodbye to each other before, so it stands to reason--

Wanda Maximoff:
We'll say hello again.

[Vision and the house slowly start to dissolve and dismantle]

Vision:
So long, darling. [dissolves completely]

[Jimmy is overseeing the cleanup of Westview in the wake of Wanda's departure]

Jimmy Woo:
Monica!

Monica Rambeau:
Authority looks good on you, Jimmy.

Jimmy Woo:
Where's Darcy?

Monica Rambeau:
Ah, something about "Debriefs are for the weak."