A Shock to the System

Lieutenant Laker:
He was your superior, wasn't he?

Graham Marshall:
No, he was my boss.

Graham Marshall:
I've never understood why you need a stair *machine* when we have stairs!

Leslie Marshall:
Because I have to keep going up, silly! If I had to keep going down, I'd lose the whole aerobic benefit.

Robert Benham:
This isn't exactly comfortable for me, I know you wanted this job. I suppose if we were rival princes, I could just have you killed. It would save a lot of politics.

Graham Marshall:
It's not that easy to kill someone and get away with it.

Graham Marshall:
I will try and put this as politely as possible, Henry... what the f*** are you doing in my office?

Henry Park:
Bob says I'm supposed to help out with the reorganization report.

Graham Marshall:
Uh huh. Let me rephrase the question -

Graham Marshall:
what the f*** are you doing in my office?

Henry Park:
Bob just thought it was crazy not to have a computer in here.

Graham Marshall:
It's not the *computer*, it's you and your goddamn desk!

Leslie Marshall:
I wanted to do a surprise party for your promotion, but the deposit check bounced at Mariela's.

Graham Marshall:
The job isn't mine yet, Leslie.

Leslie Marshall:
Mariela's the only civilized caterer out here. I said to her, "Mariela, it can't bounce, it's one of the brown ones."

Graham Marshall:
The money market? Jesus, Leslie!

Leslie Marshall:
Well, for God's sake, it's my account! I said to her, "The green ones bounce - that's my husband's account. My brown ones never bounce."

George Brewster:
Space invaders, Graham. The new people - all gadgets and the bottom line. Stop them early, or they'll run right over you! "We can be more efficient than such-and-such a program..." Blah blah blah, it's all bullshit, Graham, soup to nuts. It's code for mass firings and low quality. Just melt the market dry, and get out. I mean, if our system wasn't any good, why did they take us over in the first place? Christ!

Robert Benham:
As spokesman for some of the younger turks, I'm supposed to invite you to lunch, in celebration of your approaching greatness.

Graham Marshall:
Oh Christ, today?

Robert Benham:
Come on, executive bonding! Raucous, unfunny jokes. And we'll kiss your ass in the hopes you'll mistake it for affection.

Graham Marshall:
How degrading for you. I'll be there. What time?

Robert Benham:
Twelve thirty. Bring your ass!

Robert Benham:
Gentlemen, gentlemen... you don't understand! We are the young, the proud! We shouldn't be ashamed of success! We should say, "Yes, I *have* a boat. I *have* a country home. I *have* a girlfriend named 'Tara'!" Say it with me, brothers.

Executive #3:
I do have a Mercedes.

Executive #2:
I have a condo with a pool.

Executive #1:
I have a personal sports trainer.

Graham Marshall:
I have a wife, a mortgage, and two dogs.

Graham Marshall:
Whoa, let's not all panic - you, you, and you panic; the rest stay calm.

Melanie O'Conner:
I think it's rotten, Mr. Marshall. The only reason you didn't get that job is 'cause they didn't give it to you!

Graham Marshall:
My father had it all figured out. He was a London bus driver. And when I was a boy, he used to take me over the river to Mayfair, where the rich people lived. And he used to say to me, "Son - there is no heaven. Here is the closest you will ever get. Life, here, is sweet. Life, back over there, is hard. So live over here, son!"