Captain January

Helen:
My mother was very beautiful, wasn't she 'Cap?

Capt. January:
Mighty pretty, Star, according to her pictures.

Helen:
We're awfully lucky, aren't we?

Capt. January:
Lucky?

Helen:
I'd never have known what my mother looked like if it wasn't for that trunk. Did you swim out to get it, too?

Capt. January:
No, it just washed ashore.

Helen:
How can anyone sleep in the deep?

Capt. January:
That's the long last sleep, Star.

Helen:
Does everyone have to die?

Capt. January:
Yes, everyone does.

Helen:
Even you and me?

Capt. January:
Yes, when the time comes.

Helen:
Do you think we'll make it till Christmas?

Capt. January:
Yes, I wouldn't be surprised if we did.

Helen:
Good morning, Mrs. Croft.

The Widow Mrs. Eliza Croft:
Good morning, Star. Is Captain January with you today?

Helen:
No, mam.

The Widow Mrs. Eliza Croft:
Well, do tell the dear captain that I asked after him. Don't forget, now.

Helen:
I will. I mean, I won't.

Mrs. Agatha Mogan:
Who is that child?

Mary:
She's the adopted daughter of Captain January, the lighthouse keeper. Isn't she a pretty little thing?

Mrs. Agatha Mogan:
Does she go to school?

Mary:
Well, no. You see, the former truant officer wasn't very strict.

Mrs. Agatha Mogan:
That's why she's the former truant officer. You schoolteachers will find me strict enough.

Mrs. Agatha Mogan:
You should be taken home and spanked! What kind of man is this Captain January to allow you to run around?

Helen:
Cap's the finest man in the whole world! See that lighthouse down there? Well, Cap owns it... He saved a million ships in his day.

Mrs. Agatha Mogan:
You go right home and tell him I'm coming to have a talk with him.

Helen:
Yes, mam. I'll bet SHE can't spit a curve in the wind.

Mrs. Agatha Mogan:
Don't be impudent!

Helen:
I didn't mean to be! -Cap always tells me to be polite to old ladies.

Helen:
Why do I have to do this?

Capt. January:
All nice little girls sew samplers.

Helen:
Well, it doesn't seem like anything I'll need in a sea-faring life.

Capt. January:
That's where you're wrong, Star. A good sailor has to be able to steer a needle.

Helen:
It's a cake! Cap made himself!

Capt. Nazro:
Really? Well then I guess I'll just eat the candles!

Mrs. Agatha Mogan:
There is a compulsory education law in this state, and this child is old enough.

Helen:
How can she know how old I am? We don't even know ourselves.

Mrs. Agatha Mogan:
From what I've observed, this child is being brought up completely without control. She's rude and undisciplined, like a little heathen. Look at the clothes she wears. Not even a dress!

Capt. January:
What business is that of yours? Star is mine!

Mrs. Agatha Mogan:
You forget that Star is adopted, Captain January. It's well within the power of the school authorities to have her taken away from you and placed in an institution.

Capt. Nazro:
Star can read writing and write reading better than any six year old on this coast.

Capt. January:
Any six year old? Why, there ain't no seven or eight year old that knows as much as Star. I've been learning her from the two best books there is, The Bible and Bowditch.

Mrs. Agatha Mogan:
Bowditch? A book on navigation? Fine reading for a child of six!

Capt. Nazro:
Any objections to The Bible?

Capt. January:
There ain't no better reading in the world than The Bible and Bowditch. They both learn you to steer a straight course.

Capt. Nazro:
Star doesn't belong to you, you know.

Capt. January:
Doesn't belong to me?

Capt. Nazro:
You just took her in without saying anything to anybody. You never even adopted her.

Capt. January:
She's more than adopted. She's a part of me.

The Widow Mrs. Eliza Croft:
The poor dear needs a mother's care. Nothing can take the place of a mother, except another mother.

Helen:
Can you stop polishing and help me study for my school examination?

Capt. January:
In a minute, honey. Ships and lives depend on this light being just so. Suppose this light had been out on the night you washed ashore, where would you be then?

Helen:
Asleep in the deep.

Capt. January:
What are the four Gospels?

Helen:
Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John.

Capt. January:
Correct! Do you remember the story of the Prodigal Son?

Helen:
He came home, and the father said, "Bring me the fattest calf and kill it, and let us eat and be merry."

Capt. January:
But not everyone was merry, Star. There was another son and some neighbors. Who was sorry that the Prodigal Son came home?

Helen:
The fattest calf!

Capt. January:
Now listen Star, you've just got to pass this examination. You've just got to. It may mean they'll try to take you away from me if you don't. Now, I don't want to make you nervous...

Capt. Nazro:
No, he don't want to make you nervous.

Helen:
I'll do my best, Cap. I'm not worried.

Cyril Morgan:
I'll bet you don't even know who discovered America.

Helen:
Was it a sailor?

Cyril Morgan:
I don't know. I guess so.

Helen:
Cap did!

Cyril Morgan:
He didn't do no such thing! Christopher Columbus discovered America, and I know when he discovered it, too... it was in 1492... you don't know NUTHIN!

The Widow Mrs. Eliza Croft:
Wouldn't you like me to live here, so I could cut em all down to fit cha?

Helen:
No, I'd rather grow up to fit the dresses.

The Widow Mrs. Eliza Croft:
Oh! You mean you wouldn't like me to live here?

Helen:
Well, I like you, but you see, I'm the lady of the house, and we couldn't have two ladies of the house.

Capt. Nazro:
Miss Morgan was right! You ain't fit to look after a child!

Capt. January:
What?

Capt. Nazro:
You ain't fit to look after nothing! Star ought to be taken away from you!

Capt. Nazro:
In two days, January will be out of a job, and that's just what old Hatchet-Face has been waiting for.

Mary:
Of course it is.

Capt. Nazro:
Do you think I'm doing the right thing in sending for these folks?

Paul Roberts:
You never did anything righter in your life.

Capt. Nazro:
I hate to think of what January will do when he finds out.

Mary:
Well, if someone doesn't come to take Star, Miss Morgan is going to have her way.

Capt. Nazro:
But I don't even know anything about these Masons except what I read in Star's mother's album. They may not even be relatives.

Mary:
Whoever they are, they're better for Star than an institution.

Paul Roberts:
Certainly any instituion Miss Morgan would pick out.

Capt. Nazro:
Miss Morgan is on her way here now with a deputy from Salem. You've got to beat it! You don't want them to take Star away, do you?

Capt. January:
I'm not running away!

Capt. Nazro:
Don't you understand? If they find you with Star, they'll take her away as sure as you're standing here!

Helen:
What are they going to do to me?

Capt. Nazro:
Don't be stubborn, January. You can fight later. In the meantime, take Star and hide out.

Deputy Sheriff:
I've got an order here to produce that child before Judge Thompson.

Capt. January:
All right, when do you want her?

Deputy Sheriff:
Tomorrow afternoon at three.

Capt. January:
All right, we'll be there.

Mrs. Agatha Mogan:
You take that child right now! Don't you understand he's trying to sneak her out of the jurisdiction of the court?

Capt. Nazro:
He's trying to do no such thing!

Mrs. Agatha Mogan:
Then why is he on this boat? Officer, you're responsible for the custody of the child!

Deputy Sheriff:
Maybe you're right. I can't take any chances.

Helen:
Oh, Cap, don't let them take me away!

Paul Roberts:
Here comes Star! Come on, Star, we've been waiting for you.

Helen:
Can't now, Paul, I'm on government duty. Got a job yet?

Paul Roberts:
No, but I've been promised one as soon as the halibuts start running.

Helen:
I hope they start running soon.

Paul Roberts:
Well, you can't rush a halibut.

Helen:
Well, don't give up the ship.

Ira J. Slocum, storekeeper:
Better watch out, Star. One day she'll tie a tow rope onto January, and you'll lose him.

Helen:
Not while I'm in charge of the lighthouse. We need another case of brass polish. We need it right away.

Ira J. Slocum, storekeeper:
[holding out a jar of lollipops] Here, have one on the house. They're all the same size, I checked.

Helen:
I know, but the black ones last longer. Now don't forget about our special prize. You know I'm giving you all our trade.

Ira J. Slocum, storekeeper:
I won't forget.

Mrs. Agatha Mogan:
Disreputable sailors, you ought to be ashamed of yourselves, teaching a child to behave this way!

Helen:
Don't be mad at them. They always have fun with me like this. Did you know that Captain Joe Ross can spit fifteen feet in a twenty-mile gale? [Captain Joe Ross smiles at Mrs. Morgan]

Mrs. Agatha Mogan:
Indeed!

Helen:
And the skipper, the one with the accordion, once he killed three men with a table knife!

Helen:
Ooh, it's Captain Nazro!

Capt. Nazro:
Hello, honey.

Capt. January:
Can't I give a birthday party around here without you barging in?

Capt. Nazro:
Pipe down, you old caddywompus. I didn't come to see you. Come on out and see the birthday present I brung you, honey. [They go outside. Capt. Nazro has brought a crane for Star's birthday]

Helen:
[to the crane] Remember me?

Capt. Nazro:
Why should the crane remember you?

Helen:
Is it a crane? I thought it was a stork.

Helen:
You're going to invite Captain Nazro to stay for my party, aren't you?

Capt. January:
Well, I wasn't counting on it, but...

Helen:
Goody! I'll fix an extra place.

Capt. Nazro:
I'm here and I'm gonna stay for a while.

Capt. January:
Oh, you are, are you?

Capt. Nazro:
Yeah, I are. It's time I do some inspecting around this lighthouse.

Capt. January:
They must be daft in Washington to make you an inspector. You probably don't know the difference between a telescope and a tarbell!

Capt. Nazro:
The way you handle it, I guess there ain't any!

Mrs. Agatha Mogan:
There seems to be some doubt about the child's age. You say she has the learning of a child of eight. Very well, we'll call her eight.

Helen:
Maybe I'm only six.

Capt. January:
I'll stand on eight.

Capt. January:
Let's see what the next question is. Name three animals that live in very cold countries.

Helen:
I know! Three bears and three seals.

Capt. January:
No, Star, they mean three different animals.

Capt. January:
Can you prove that heat causes things to expand?

Helen:
What's expand mean?

Capt. January:
Get bigger. Can you prove that heat makes things get bigger?

Helen:
Of course it makes things bigger. The days are longer in the summer, aren't they?

Capt. Nazro:
I guess that's the answer, all right.

Helen:
I can do everything. I can sing and I can dance and I can read a ship's compass.

Capt. January:
Have some more cider, Nazro. Pretty good for a fella who never had no book learning, huh?

Capt. Nazro:
What's book learning got to do with cider?

Capt. January:
I'm not talking about cider. I'm talking about me educating Star so good she jumped right into the third grade.

Capt. Nazro:
You educating her? You couldn't get into the third grade yourself! It was the things I learned her that put her through!

Capt. January:
Oh, shut your mouth, you old gooseneck. Let's drink to Star.

Capt. Nazro:
You don't think I'd drink to you, you blubbering old blowfish. To Star!

Capt. Nazro:
To Star!