Cedar Rapids

Joan Ostrowski-Fox:
Thank you, Insurance Man.

Dean Ziegler:
Degenerate? I love it, that's me!

Dean Ziegler:
Lemke may have been a class-A deviant, but what the f*** does that have to do with selling insurance?

Dean Ziegler:
Selling insurance is a business, it's not a God damn Boy Scout troop.

Dean Ziegler:
There's a separation between religion and insurance. It's in the constitution.

Tim Lippe:
I don't trust people with pony-tails.

Dean Ziegler:
Janita, double stock my mini bar, please. 1019, Thank you. Taco Bill, back in the saddle. Hey Ned, get some honey on your stinger? I love it

Tim Lippe:
Do you have root beer?

Dean Ziegler:
You wanna nipple on that?

Tim Lippe:
She's not my mom! Okay? She's my girlfriend and we're basically pre-engaged.

Dean Ziegler:
Woah woah. My bad. Beautiful woman, in any case. Wait a minute, what's "pre-engaged"? 'Cause if i was "pre-engaged", I would be pre-porking anything with a pulse.

Ronald Wilkes:
I do a pretty convincing Omar from the HBO program, The Wire.

Dean Ziegler:
Classic Wilkes! Almost not a joke!

Bree:
[to Tim] You could f*** me in the ass if you want.

[first lines]

Tim Lippe:
[voice-over] One of the reasons I love Brown Valley so much is that when you do business here, chances are good you know the person you're dealing with.

[last lines]

Tim Lippe:
Two bags... Awesome.

Tim Lippe:
Hello, Mrs. Vanderhei.

Macy Vanderhei:
It's Macy, Tim. I told you to call me Macy.

Tim Lippe:
Sorry, I keep forgetting. It's a hard habit to break.

Macy Vanderhei:
[in a sexually suggestive tone] Well, you'd better get it right soon, or I'm gonna have to make you stay after school.

Tim Lippe:
Do you realize I used to just stare and stare at you when you were teaching us about the rainforests or whatever? And I would think "I wonder what Mrs. V looks like with her clothes off." And then, boom, we run into each other in line at True Value and boom, here we are making love. Like, once a week. It's like it was fate or something. Did you ever used to look at me and think dirty things?

Macy Vanderhei:
You were twelve.

Tim Lippe:
Right.