Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian

Jedediah:
[to Kahmunrah] Two words come to mind when I hear you speak: delusional and weirdo. And If I had to pick a third... goofy. Just plain goofy.

Jedediah:
[to the fleeing Underworld army] Adios, Birdbrains!

General Custer:
We're Americans. We don't plan, we do!

Kahmunrah:
[when the tablet doesn't open] I'm afraid Mother and Father might have slightly changed the combination on me.

Kahmunrah:
[to Darth Vader] Is that you breathing? Because I can't hear myself think! (Vader is trying to force choke kamunrah) What is this? (Kahmunrah imitates the gesture) You've lost me. Can I give you advice? Just simplify; there's just too much going on. You're evil, you're asthmatic, you're a robot. And what is the cape for? Are we going to the opera? I don't think so. Sorry. Goodbye.

Kahmunrah:
(When his army of the Hawkmen gets wiped out by Lincoln) Well, this is awkward.

Larry:
I'm sorry. Last time I checked, I thought we lived in a free country. So...

Brundon:
No, we don't.

Larry:
No?

Brundon:
It's the United States of "Don't Touch That Thing Right in Front of You."

Capone:
How come you're wearing a dress?

Kahmunrah:
It's not a dress. It's called a tunic. It was the latest fashion 3,000 years ago. Are there any other questions?

Ivan:
About this dress, do we have to wear one too?

Kahmunrah:
No. I've already explained to Mr. Al Capone. It's not not a dress; it's called a tunic. There's quite a difference.

Larry:
You know how you were telling me that the key to happiness was something, but then the sun came up? I think I figured it out. It's doing what you love, with the people you love, isn't it?

Teddy:
Well, I was going to say physical exercise, but the love thing's good.

Kahmunrah:
[defeated by Larry] What are you?

Larry:
I'm the nightguard.

[he pushes Kahmunrah into the Underworld]

Kahmunrah:
NO!!!

Tuskegee Airman #2:
Ma'am, I'd just like to thank you.

Earhart:
For what?

Tuskegee Airman #2:
Well, a lot of people didn't think we could fly, either. Thanks for clearing the runway. [salutes]

Earhart:
Do you know why I became a pilot?

Larry:
I have no idea.

Earhart:
For the fun of it. Why else would anyone do anything?

[after defeating Kahmunrah]

Custer:
The Battle of the Smithsonian. The greatest battle the world will never know.

Larry:
We'll know.

Ahkmenrah:
[gesturing to his Tablet] My parents gave me this tablet some 3,000 years ago. Entrusting me with one of my people's most prized possessions.

Girl 1:
Does it do anything?

Ahkmenrah:
Do anything?

Girl 2:
Yeah, what's the point if it doesn't do anything?

Ahkmenrah:
Actually, it has a magical power to bring all of the exhibits to life!

Girl 2:
No, really, what's it do?

Ahkmenrah:
[stares at them] Nothing, it's just for decoration...

Girl 1:
I knew it.

Girl 2:
Mmm-hmm.

Kahmunrah:
I am Kahmunrah, the great king of the great kings, and from the darkest depths of ancient history. I have come BACK to life!

Larry Daley:
[Awkwardly] Uh-huh.

Kahmunrah:
Perhaps you did not hear what I just said. I am a centuries-old Egyptian Pharaoh. I was dead, but now I have come BACK to life!

Larry Daley:
Yeah, no. I heard that. I got that. Welcome back.

Kahmunrah:
[baffled and stammering] Who are you?

Larry Daley:
I'm Larry. Larry Daley. I own Daley Devices. It's up in New York. It's funny, I actually know your brother, Ahkmenrah.

Kahmunrah:
Oh, he knows baby brother. The favorite son.

Larry Daley:
Yeah, good kid.

Kahmunrah:
Oh, isn't he just. You know, mother and father always gave him the best of everything, and I do mean everything. They even gave him the throne. The throne which was rightfully MINE!

Larry Daley:
Oh, he never mentioned that...

Kahmunrah:
No, I bet he didn't. Well, now begins the era of Kahmunrah, because I have come BACK to... Never mind, just hand me the Tablet.

Teddy Roosevelt:
Some are born great, others have greatness thrust upon them.