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W. C. Fields

United States comedian and film actor (1880-1946)

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Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.

– W. C. Fields

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Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

– W. C. Fields

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I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

– W. C. Fields

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A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.

– W. C. Fields

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There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.

– W. C. Fields

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I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake--which I also keep handy.

– W. C. Fields

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A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.

– W. C. Fields

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Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.

– W. C. Fields

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I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.

– W. C. Fields

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I never drink water; that is the stuff that rusts pipes.

– W. C. Fields

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I never vote for anyone I always vote against.

– W. C. Fields

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I never vote for anyone. I always vote against.

– W. C. Fields

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I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.

– W. C. Fields

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I've never struck a woman in my life, not even my own mother.

– W. C. Fields

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It was a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy to thank her for it.

– W. C. Fields

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Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.

– W. C. Fields

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My heart is a bargain today. Will you take it?

– W. C. Fields

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Never give a sucker an even break.

– W. C. Fields

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Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream.

– W. C. Fields

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Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.

– W. C. Fields

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Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you've seen the devil.

– W. C. Fields

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Somebody left the cork out of my lunch.

– W. C. Fields

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"W. C. Fields Quotes." Quotes.net. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 26 Dec. 2024. <https://www.quotes.net/authors/W.+C.+Fields+Quotes>.

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