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Elections are a good deal like marriages, there's no accounting for anyone's taste. Every time we see a bridegroom we wonder why she ever picked him, and it's the same with Public Officials.

– Will Rogers

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Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

– Will Rogers

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I belong to no organized party. I am a Democrat.

– Will Rogers

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I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

– Will Rogers

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I traveled a good deal all over the world, and I got along pretty good in all these foreign countries, for I have a theory that it's their country and they got a right to run it like they want to.

– Will Rogers

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I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat

– Will Rogers

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Politics has got so expensive that it takes lots of money to even get beat with.

– Will Rogers

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Youve got to be [an] optimist to be a Democrat, and youve got to be a humorist to stay one.

– Will Rogers

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We can't all be heroes because somebody has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by.

– Will Rogers

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Communism is like prohibition, it's a good idea but it won't work.

– Will Rogers

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The best doctor in the world is the veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter-he's got to just know.

– Will Rogers

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Don't let yesterday take up too much of today.

– Will Rogers

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Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.

– Will Rogers

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On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.

– Will Rogers

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Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

– Will Rogers

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Rumor travels faster, but it don't stay put as long as truth.

– Will Rogers

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An onion can make people cry, but there has never been a vegetable invented to make them laugh.

– Will Rogers

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Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing -- and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even.

– Will Rogers

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An ignorant person is one who doesn't know what you have just found out.

– Will Rogers

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Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate now what's going to happen to us with both a Senate and a House

– Will Rogers

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Being a hero is about the shortest-lived profession on earth.

– Will Rogers

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Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock.

– Will Rogers

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Everybody is ignorant only on different subjects.

– Will Rogers

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Good judgement comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgement.

– Will Rogers

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Heroing is one of the shortest-lived professions there is.

– Will Rogers

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I bet you if I had met him Trotsky and had a chat with him, I would have found him a very interesting and human fellow, for I never yet met a man that I didn't like.

– Will Rogers

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I can remember way back when a liberal was one who was generous with his money.

– Will Rogers

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I was not a child prodigy, because a child prodigy is a child who knows as much when it is a child as it does when it grows up.

– Will Rogers

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I wonder if it isn't just cowardice instead of generosity that makes us give tips.

– Will Rogers

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I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago.

– Will Rogers

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If any of us had a child that we thought was as bad as we know we are, we would have cause to start to worry.

– Will Rogers

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If I could kick the person in the tail that causes me the most problems I could not sit down for a week.

– Will Rogers

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If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out

– Will Rogers

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If there are no dogs in heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.

– Will Rogers

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Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.

– Will Rogers

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Never blame a legislative body for not doing something. When they do nothing, that don't hurt anybody. When they do something is when they become dangerous.

– Will Rogers

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Never let yesterday use up too much of today.

– Will Rogers

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Noah must have taken into the Ark two taxes, one male and one female. And did they multiply bountifully! Next to guinea pigs, taxes must have been the most prolific animals.

– Will Rogers

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Nothing you can't spell will ever work.

– Will Rogers

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On account of us being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.

– Will Rogers

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One ad is worth more to a paper than forty editorials.

– Will Rogers

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Parades should be classed as a nuisance and participants should be subject to a term in prison.

– Will Rogers

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People are getting smarter nowadays; they are letting lawyers, instead of their conscience, be their guide.

– Will Rogers

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People love high ideals, but they got to be about 33-percent plausible.

– Will Rogers

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Politics is applesauce.

– Will Rogers

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Politics is not worrying this country one-tenth as much as where to find a parking space.

– Will Rogers

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See what will happen if you don't stop biting your fingernails

– Will Rogers

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Take the diplomacy out of war and the thing would fall flat in a week.

– Will Rogers

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The fellow that can only see a week ahead is always the popular fellow, for he is looking with the crowd. But the one that can see years ahead, he has a telescope but he can't make anybody believe that he has it.

– Will Rogers

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The greatest loss of time is delay and expectation. I never yet talked to the man who wanted to save time who could tell me what he was going to do with the time he saved.

– Will Rogers

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The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf.

– Will Rogers

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The man with the best job in the country is the Vice President. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, 'How's the President'

– Will Rogers

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The more you read and observe about this Politics thing, you got to admit that each party is worse than the other. The one that's out always looks the best.

– Will Rogers

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The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself.

– Will Rogers

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The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them.

– Will Rogers

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There is only one thing that can kill the Movies, and that is education.

– Will Rogers

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There ought to be one day - just one - where there is open season on senators.

– Will Rogers

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There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.

– Will Rogers

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This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.

– Will Rogers

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We are all here for a spell; get all the good laughs you can.

– Will Rogers

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We are sure living in a peculiar time. You get more for not working than you will for working, and more for not raising a hog than for raising it.

– Will Rogers

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We don't know what we want, but we are ready to bite somebody to get it.

– Will Rogers

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We don't seem to be able to check crime, so why not legalize it and then tax it out of business?

– Will Rogers

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Well, all I know is what I read in the papers.

– Will Rogers

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What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds.

– Will Rogers

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When I die, my epitaph or whatever you call those signs on gravestones is going to read: I joked about every prominent man of my time, but I never met a man I dident like. I am so proud of that I can hardly wait to die so it can be carved. And when you come to my grave you will find me sitting there, proudly reading it.

– Will Rogers

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You can't say that civilization don't advance, however, for in every war they kill you in a new way.

– Will Rogers

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Who said: "If you have always believed that everyone should play by the same rules and be judged by the same standards, that would have gotten you labeled a radical 60 years ago, a liberal 30 years ago and a racist today."?

A Ron Paul

B Thomas Sowell

C Barack Obama

D Larry Elder