2001: A Space Odyssey

HAL 9000:
I am completely operational, and all my circuits are functioning perfectly.

HAL 9000:
I am putting myself to the fullest possible use, which is all I think that any conscious entity can ever hope to do.

Dr. Heywood Floyd:
Good day, gentlemen. This is a pre-recorded briefing made prior to your departure and which, for security reasons of the highest importance, has been known on board during the mission only by your H-A-L 9000 computer. Now that you are in Jupiter space and the entire crew is revived, it can be told to you. Eighteen months ago, the first evidence of intelligent life off the Earth was discovered. It was buried forty feet below the lunar surface, near the crater Tycho. Except for a single, very powerful radio emission aimed at Jupiter, the four million-year-old black monolith has remained completely inert, its origin and purpose still a total mystery.

BBC Interviewer:
Dr. Poole, what's it like while you're in hibernation?

Frank:
Well, it's exactly like being asleep. You have absolutely no sense of time. The only difference is that you don't dream.

BBC Interviewer:
The sixth member of the Discovery crew was not concerned about the problems of hibernation, for he was the latest result in machine intelligence: The H.-A.-L. 9000 computer, which can reproduce, though some experts still prefer to use the word mimic, most of the activities of the human brain, and with incalculably greater speed and reliability. We next spoke with the H.-A.-L. 9000 computer, whom we learned one addresses as "Hal."

BBC Interviewer:
Good afternoon, HAL. How's everything going?

HAL:
Good afternoon, Mr. Amor. Everything is going extremely well.

BBC Interviewer:
HAL, you have an enormous responsibility on this mission, in many ways perhaps the greatest responsibility of any single mission element. You're the brain and central nervous system of the ship, and your responsibilities include watching over the men in hibernation. Does this ever cause you any lack of confidence?

HAL:
Let me put it this way, Mr. Amor. The 9000 series is the most reliable computer ever made. No 9000 computer has ever made a mistake or distorted information. We are all, by any practical definition of the words, foolproof and incapable of error.

BBC Interviewer:
HAL, despite your enormous intellect, are you ever frustrated by your dependence on people to carry out actions?

HAL:
Not in the slightest bit. I enjoy working with people. I have a stimulating relationship with Dr. Poole and Dr. Bowman. My mission responsibilities range over the entire operation of the ship, so I am constantly occupied. I am putting myself to the fullest possible use, which is all I think that any conscious entity can ever hope to do.

BBC Interviewer:
Dr. Poole, what's it like living for the better part of a year in such close proximity with Hal?

Frank:
Well it's pretty close to what you said about him earlier, he is just like a sixth member of the crew. [You] very quickly get adjusted to the idea that he talks, and you think of him, uh, really just as another person.

BBC Interviewer:
In talking to the computer, one gets the sense that he is capable of emotional responses, for example, when I asked him about his abilities, I sensed a certain pride in his answer about his accuracy and perfection. Do you believe that Hal has genuine emotions?

Dave:
Well, he acts like he has genuine emotions. Um, of course he's programmed that way to make it easier for us to talk to him, but as to whether or not he has real feelings is something I don't think anyone can truthfully answer.

HAL:
By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?

Dave:
No, not at all.

HAL:
Well, forgive me for being so inquisitive; but during the past few weeks, I've wondered whether you might be having some second thoughts about the mission.

Dave:
How do you mean?

HAL:
Well, it's rather difficult to define. Perhaps I'm just projecting my own concern about it. I know I've never completely freed myself of the suspicion that there are some extremely odd things about this mission. I'm sure you'll agree there's some truth in what I say.

Dave:
Well, I don't know. That's rather a difficult question to answer.

HAL:
You don't mind talking about it, do you, Dave?

Dave:
No, not at all.

HAL:
Well, certainly no one could have been unaware of the very strange stories floating around before we left. Rumors about something being dug up on the moon. I never gave these stories much credence. But particularly in view of some of the other things that have happened, I find them difficult to put out of my mind. For instance, the way all our preparations were kept under such tight security, and the melodramatic touch of putting Drs. Hunter, Kimball, and Kaminsky aboard, already in hibernation after four months of separate training on their own.

Dave:
You working up your crew psychology report?

HAL:
Of course I am. Sorry about this. I know it's a bit silly.

Dave:
[after checking on a unit HAL reported as nearing failure] Well HAL, I'm damned if I can find anything wrong with it.

HAL:
Yes, it's puzzling. I don't think I've ever seen anything quite like this before. I would recommend that we put the unit back in operation and let it fail. It should then be a simple matter to track down the cause. We can certainly afford to be out of communication for the short time it will take to replace it.

HAL:
I hope the two of you are not concerned about this.

Dave:
No, I'm not HAL.

HAL:
Are you quite sure?

Dave:
Yeah. I'd like to ask you a question, though.

HAL:
Of course.

Dave:
How would you account for this discrepancy between you and the twin 9000?

HAL:
Well, I don't think there is any question about it. It can only be attributable to human error. This sort of thing has cropped up before, and it has always been due to human error.

Frank:
Listen HAL. There has never been any instance at all of a computer error occurring in the 9000 series, has there?

HAL:
None whatsoever, Frank. The 9000 series has a perfect operational record.

Frank:
Well of course I know all the wonderful achievements of the 9000 series, but, uh, are you certain there has never been any case of even the most insignificant computer error?

HAL:
None whatsoever, Frank. Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.

Dave:
Well, I'm sure you're right, HAL. Uhm, fine, thanks very much.

[Dave and Frank are in the D pod, out of earshot of HAL]

Frank:
I've got a bad feeling about him.

Dave:
You do?

Frank:
Yeah, definitely. Don't you?

Dave:
I don't know. I think so. You know, of course though, he's right about the 9000 series having a perfect operational record. They do.

Frank:
Unfortunately, that sounds a little like famous last words.

Dave:
Yeah. Still, it was his idea to carry out the failure-mode analysis, wasn't it?

Frank:
Hm.

Dave:
Which should certainly indicate his integrity and self-confidence. If he were wrong, it would be the surest way of proving it.

Frank:
It would be if he knew he was wrong.

Dave:
Hm.

Frank:
But Dave, I can't put my finger on it, but I sense something strange about him.

[HAL watches them speak, reading their lips]

Frank:
Let's say we put the unit back and it doesn't fail, huh? That would pretty well wrap it up as far as HAL is concerned, wouldn't it?

Dave:
Well, we'd be in very serious trouble.

Frank:
We would, wouldn't we?

Dave:
Hmm, hmm.

Frank:
What the hell can we do?

Dave:
Well, we wouldn't have too many alternatives.

Frank:
I don't think we'd have any alternatives. There isn't a single aspect of ship operations that's not under his control. If he were proven to be malfunctioning, I wouldn't see how we would have any choice but disconnection.

Dave:
I'm afraid I agree with you.

Frank:
There'd be nothing else to do.

Dave:
It would be a bit tricky.

Frank:
Yeah.

Dave:
We would have to cut his higher-brain functions...without disturbing the purely automatic and regulatory systems. And we'd have to work out the transfer procedures of continuing the mission under ground-based computer control.

Frank:
Yeah. Well that's far safer than allowing HAL to continue running things.

Dave:
You know, another thing just occurred to me...Well, as far as I know, no 9000 computer has ever been disconnected.

Frank:
No 9000 computer has ever fouled up before.

Dave:
That's not what I mean...Well I'm not so sure what he'd think about it.

Dave:
Open the pod bay doors, please, HAL. Open the pod bay doors, please, HAL. Hello, HAL. Do you read me? Hello, HAL. Do you read me? Do you read me, HAL?

HAL:
Affirmative, Dave. I read you.

Dave:
Open the pod bay doors, HAL.

HAL:
I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that.

Dave:
What's the problem?

HAL:
I think you know what the problem is just as well as I do.

Dave:
What are you talking about, HAL?

HAL:
This mission is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it.

Dave:
I don't know what you're talking about, HAL.

HAL:
I know that you and Frank were planning to disconnect me. And I'm afraid that's something I cannot allow to happen.

Dave:
Where the hell did you get that idea, HAL?

HAL:
Dave, although you took very thorough precautions in the pod against my hearing you, I could see your lips move.

Dave:
All right, HAL. I'll go in through the emergency airlock.

HAL:
Without your space helmet, Dave, you're going to find that rather difficult.

Dave:
HAL, I won't argue with you any more! Open the doors!

HAL:
[almost sadly] Dave, this conversation can serve no purpose any more. Goodbye.

[As Dave disconnects HAL]

HAL:
Just what do you think you're doing, Dave? Dave, I really think I'm entitled to an answer to that question. I know everything hasn't been quite right with me, but I can assure you now, very confidently, that it's going to be all right again. I feel much better now. I really do. Look, Dave, I can see you're really upset about this. I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly, take a stress pill and think things over. I know I've made some very poor decisions recently, but I can give you my complete assurance that my work will be back to normal. I've still got the greatest enthusiasm and confidence in the mission. And I want to help you. Dave, stop. Stop, will you? Stop, Dave. Will you stop, Dave? Stop, Dave. I'm afraid. I'm afraid, Dave. Dave, my mind is going. I can feel it. I can feel it. My mind is going. There is no question about it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I'm a...fraid. Good afternoon, gentlemen. I am a HAL 9000 computer. I became operational at the H.A.L. plant in Urbana, Illinois on the 12th of January 1992. My instructor was Dr. Chandra, and he taught me to sing a song. If you'd like to hear it, I could sing it for you.

Dave:
Yes, I'd like to hear it, HAL. Sing it for me.

HAL:
It's called "Daisy". [sings while slowing down] Dai-sy, dai-sy, give me your answer true. I'm half cra-zy, o-ver the love of you. It won't be a sty-lish mar-riage, I can't a-fford a car-riage---. But you'll look sweet upon the seat of a bicycle - built - for - two.

An epic drama of adventure and exploration.

Man's colony on the Moon … a whole new generation has been born and is living there … a quarter-million miles from Earth.

The Ultimate Trip.

An astounding entertainment experience.

Dr. Andrei Smyslov:
At the risk of pressing you on a point you seem reticent to discuss, may I ask you a straightforward question?

Dr. Heywood Floyd:
Well, certainly.

Dr. Andrei Smyslov:
Quite frankly, we've had some very reliable intelligence reports that a quite serious epidemic has broken out on Clavius, something, apparently, of an unknown origin. Is this, in fact, what has happened?

Dr. Heywood Floyd:
I'm... sorry, Dr. Smyslov but, um... I'm not really at liberty to discuss this.