2 Guns

[from trailer]

[Stig crashes into Bobby in a truck]

Bobby:
Pull over!

Stig:
Did you miss me?

[from trailer]

[Bobby and Stig have each other in a sleeper hold]

Bobby:
All right, all right! On the count of three, we'll let each other go.

Stig:
All right.

Bobby:
One, two, three.

[nothing happens]

Stig:
Now you're making me not be able to trust you.

Bobby:
I guess we can both talk to him at the same time.

Stig:
What, like we're working together?

Bobby:
No, not like we're working together.

Stig:
[excitedly] Yeah!

Bobby:
No, like we're working in the same, uh vicinity.

Stig:
Together.

Bobby:
In the same... area code.

Stig:
Together.

Bobby:
The same county.

[from trailer]

Bobby:
So, partner, what's your plan?

Stig:
I got a plan. I mean, I'm capable of coming up with a plan.

Bobby:
I'm not saying you're not capable. I'm just saying you haven't told me. What is it?

Stig:
I'm working on it! [beat] Screw it.

[Stig floors it sending the cops after them]

Bobby:
That was your plan?

Stig:
No one expected it! You should have seen your face!

[from trailer]

Stig:
[to Bobby] You're my people and we have a code. You fight for the guy that's fighting next to you.

Bobby:
You never heard the saying, never rob a bank across from a diner with the best donuts in three counties?

[first lines]

Stig:
Hi.

Waitress Maggie:
Hi.

Stig:
How many?

Waitress Maggie:
two.

Bobby:
[to waitress] I'm very sorry about my friend. He was kicked in the head as a child.

Stig:
They're torturing chickens, man!

Bobby:
What is that you're eating.

Stig:
A chicken.

Jessup:
I don't like coming to funerals of my own men.

Bobby:
Well then don't come. Don't come.

Bank Manager:
I'm innocent.

Earl:
Nobody's innocent, friend. There just the guilty, the ignorant, and the unlucky.

Officer Dave:
Who is that guy?

FBI Agent:
You've heard of the hidden hand of God? Well, that's God's son of a b*tch.

Earl:
[holding guns on DEA commander] Your man Bobby Trench stole 43 million of our dollars. We'd like it back. Because it's our money. Because it's a blatant act of disrespect. And because it's our money.

Earl:
You ever play Russian roulette? [as he removes all but one bullet] Thing is, most people put the gun to the temple. Well, that's just stupid. You blow a man's head off 'fore he's had a chance to tell you what you wanna know.

Bobby:
Mess up your suit, too.

Deb:
[guns drawn on each other] Bobby?

Bobby:
You said, stop by any time.

Earl:
You're still a drug dealer. And I'm still the government of the United States. It's a free market, Manny. Not a free world.

Admiral Tuwey:
Blind loyalty is not loyalty.

Admiral Tuwey:
When the hand has gangrene, you chop it off to save the body. You don't keep the pinkie around just because it "meant well".

[last lines]

Stig:
You know, for a guy who just blew up $43 million, all of a sudden you are a very generous tipper.

Bobby:
Who said I blew up $43 million?

Stig:
What *are* you saying?

Bobby:
I'm not saying anything. What are you hearing?

Stig:
I'm hearing something. You're saying something.

Bobby:
Well, if you're hearing it, it's only because you're hearing it, not 'cause I'm saying it.

Stig:
How much did you keep? Two million? That's like one each.

Bobby:
Oh so now you get half?

Stig:
Well, I shot half the guys.

Bobby:
So?

Stig:
Two million?

Bobby:
[winks]

Stig:
It's not very sporting, man. At least give the chickens a chance to shoot back.

Stig:
Just because you put your finger in your belly button and brown sh*t comes out don't mean it's your a**hole.

[repeated line]

Papi Greco:
Payback is a b*tch.

Bobby:
If Papi knew we were even talkin' about rippin' off Tres Cruces it would be **our** heads in that bag next to the potato salad.

Stig:
No way. Our two heads would never fit in a bag that small.

Papi Greco:
Mow my lawn.

Deb:
Did you ever love me?

Bobby:
I really meant to love you.

Bobby:
Did you just wink at him?

Stig:
I did just winked at him 'cause he's my b*tch now!

Bobby:
Uh-oh!

Sig to Maggi:
Maggi wait, one more thing, take that with you till we see each other again in case you missed me too much.

Stig to (Maggi):

Maggi wait, one more thing, take that with you till we see each other again in case you missed me too much.