2 Stupid Dogs

Little Dog:
Hey, hey, why'd you wake me up?

Big Dog:
So we can wake up.

Little Dog:
If you didn't wake me up, I might've had a nightmare and it would've woke me up. Then, I could've woke you up and we would both be awake. But since you did wake me up, I can't wake up from this nightmare so i can't wake you up! So we're both still asleep.

Big Dog:
...What?

[ Hollywood is a pet shop owner. ]

Hollywood:
D'you like feathers?

Little Dog:
In what way?

Little Dog:
There are plenty of hamsters in the sea. I just hope they can swim.

[Repeated line]

Hollywood:
Isn't that cute? BUT IT'S WRONG!

Big Dog:
Listen, kid, love is the only chance for happiness you'll ever get in this life, and if you're going to let a little thing like rejection stand in your way, baby, you might as well stay right there on the ground, because people are going to be walking over you for the rest of your life.

[the two dogs are sniffing a road kill]

Little Dog:
What is it?

Big Dog:
Can't tell.

Little Dog:
Wanna eat it?

Big Dog:
Yup.

Bill Binkers:
You cheated. You get the car!

Brady kid 1:
[the dogs are riding a lawnmower with the Brady-type kids during a musical number] It's a groovy day on the earth!

Brady kid 2:
Oh yeah! I know!

Big Dog:
Why are we mowing Astroturf?

Little Dog:
Dunno.

[Big Dog has just eaten the Brady Bunch-type kids]

Little Dog:
How were they?

Big Dog:
Wholesome.

Little Red Riding Hood:
I'm sure Granny's house was around here *somewhere*!

Little Red Riding Hood:
Follow me! I know exactly where we are going!

Little Dog:
I want the toilet seat!

Big Dog:
I want the toilet seat.

Little Dog:
I found it!

Big Dog:
I tipped over the trash can.

Little Dog:
I led us down the street!

Big Dog:
I woke up this morning.

Little Dog:
I'm littler than you!

Big Dog:
I used to be little.

Little Dog:
I have an itch on my back!

Big Dog:
I have a flea in my ear.

Little Dog:
I saw an airplane!

Big Dog:
I can *eat* an airplane.

Little Dog:
[Indicating the drive-in movie they're watching] This is caca! Why do people come here anyways? [Pan out to show all cars around them bouncing up and down]

Kenny Fowler:
[During show and tell, nervously] I brought these dogs. They're boy dogs. Know how to tell they're boy dogs? [Picks up Little Dog by his hind legs and holds him upside-down to show his crotch to the class]

Female Classmate:
[after two boys are shown gasping at Little Dog] Oooooo. [Smiles]

Little Red Riding Hood:
Made with 100% meat [in diesel-dyke voice] byproduct!

Little Dog:
[Chanting] Cheesecake! Cheesecake! It's not fake! It's cheesecake!

Secret Squirrel:
[Repeated lines] Agent triple-zero, Secret Squirrel, reporting for duty sir.

Morocco Mole:
Likewise me, Morocco Mole.

Little Dog:
[after eating astronaut ice cream; while spitting it out] Bleh! Yech! This tastes like caca!

[a cute, harmless Cat has been scaring Little Dog all throughout the episode, so Big Dog woofs at the Cat, who screams and falls over petrified. Little Dog thinks he "beat up" the cat and Big Dog argues with him]

Big Dog:
*I* beat up the cat.

Little Dog:
*I* did!

Big Dog:
No, *I* did.

Little Dog:
Prove it!

Big Dog:
Prove...

Little Dog:
[Screams like the Cat and falls over petrified]