The Devil's Rejects

Candy:
What you lookin' at?

Otis B. Driftwood:
I'm lookin' at you, mama.

Candy:
Yeah, you see something you like?

Otis B. Driftwood:
Maybe. I set my standards pretty low, so I'm never disappointed.

Candy:
Oh I don't disappoint.

Baby:
[dancing in front of Otis and the hostages] Chinese, Japanese, dirty knees, look at these. [repeated 4x]

Otis:
Hoss, are you staring at my sister thinking bad thoughts?

Roy:
No,

Otis:
Well, why not- are you a f*ggot?

Roy:
No.

Otis:
Well, what are ya then? I mean you got this hot, piece of ass shaking her sh*t right in front of you and you're not getting any ideas. What do you call that?

Roy:
I'm a married man.

Otis:
Oh, a married f***in' man. Hey, that's just great! Let's give him a big round of applause, folks for the married man! [he and Baby clap and laugh]

Otis:
Okay, mama, get up here.

Gloria:
What?

Otis:
Get on your feet. I want to know what's been keeping the married man in line all these years.

Adam Banjo:
Please, mister. This is insane.

Otis:
Boy, the next word that comes out of your mouth better be some brilliant f***in' Mark Twain sh*t, 'cause it's definitely gettin' chiseled on your tombstone.

Baby:
I bet all the girls wanna f*** you.

Roy Sullivan:
Would you say that again?

Baby:
I bet all the girls wanna f*** you.

Roy Sullivan:
Do you kiss your mama with that mouth?

Baby:
Trust me, fella. That ain't the only thing I do with this mouth.

Captain Spaulding:
I'm gonna have to be taking your car today. See I have some top secret clown business that supersedes any plans that you might have for this here vehicle.

Susan:
What's that about clown business?

Captain Spaulding:
[pause] Do I stutter, b*tch?

Sheriff John Wydell:
What's going on, shitheads?

Rondo:
Sheriff....

Sheriff John Wydell:
(hands Rondo a piece of paper) Here's a list of names I need you to run down for me.

Rondo:
[Looks at the paper, and starts chuckling] That's some funny-ass names! Haha!

Sheriff John Wydell:
Yeah, look who's f***in' talkin' "Rondo". Just let me know if anything connects.

Billy Ray Snapper:
I'm sure it will. Sh*t always floats our way, don't it...."Chief"?

Sheriff John Wydell:
Well, if you keep your mouth open wide enough maybe you'll catch it all....don't f*** this up a**holes.

Rondo:
Have fun scraping all them brains up off the road! Haha.

Charlie Altamont:
Oh...yeah! Lord have mercy!! What a mornin'!! Clevon!!

Clevon:
Yeah boss?

Charlie Altamont:
You know why I come here to get these chickens?

Clevon:
No boss.

Charlie Altamont:
'Cuz my brother makes the best fried chicken in the world!

Clevon:
Is that right?

Charlie Altamont:
(to Darrell) Yeah, good mornin' good mornin' good mornin' good mornin' sir! How are ya!

Darrell:
How're you all doin? G'morning.

Charlie Altamont:
Good, good, good, whatcha got for me?

Darrell:
We got these, uh, real cute barred rock chickens.

Charlie Altamont:
Yeah! I see it!

Darrell:
Some nice, long-legged Rhode Island Reds.

Charlie Altamont:
RHODE ISLAND RED!! I like that, huh! I want a Rhode Island red for me, all right? Two of 'em.

Darrell:
Rhode Island Red...two. (long pause, scratches his nose) Now ya'll ain't planning on f***in' these chickens are ya?

Charlie Altamont:
(after a long pause) What the f*** are you getting at? Do you f*** chickens?

Darrell:
Well, I thought about f***in' some chickens before, eh? If you want to have a good time and you need some p*ssy, you can (motions with his hands) cut that chicken's head off, stick yo' dick in the ass of that chicken, and that damn chicken'll go crazy on your ass and go "Caaaaah".

Charlie Altamont:
Are you saying that I would cut off a chicken's head, put my dick in it, f*** it...and go "Aah"? You accuse me of f***ing a chicken, motherf***er?

Darrell:
Nah, I ain't--I ain't callin' you a chicken f***er but...that boy over there looks se--sexually frustrated, and I don't approve of chicken f***ing.

Clevon:
Did you hear what he called me, Boss? I ain't--he called me a f***ing chicken f***er!

Darrell:
I didn't say--

Charlie Altamont:
Everybody just stop yappin' and grab the f***in' chickens, Clevon! (to Darrell) Here, five.

Darrell:
Appreciate it...thank y'all.

Clevon:
Chickenf--He's the chicken f***er!!!

Charlie Altamont:
That's all right. Put 'em back there. Next time we go someplace else.

Clevon:
We ain't never buying chickens from him again, boss!

Charlie Altamont:
Yeah, I know, I know.

Clevon:
(yelling back to Darrell, and giving the finger) You inbred! Inbred!!

Baby:
Goddamn it, look at that jacket.

Otis:
What?

Baby:
On TV.

Otis:
Wha--f*** the TV!

Baby:
F*** the TV? F*** you!

Otis:
Hey f*** you, will you just keep your head in the business at hand here?

Marty Walker:
That goddamn f***ing Elvis Presley.

Sheriff John Wydell:
What'd you say about the King?!

Marty Walker:
I said he died three days before Grouch...

Sheriff John Wydell:
Son, if you ever say another derogatory word about Elvis Aron Presley in my presence again, I will kick the living sh*t out of you!

Fanny:
Poopy! What do you need a gun for? Where are we going?

Captain Spaulding:
You ain't going nowhere, b*tch.

Fanny:
Oh, Poopy! Where are you going?

Captain Spaulding:
Get out of my f***ing way!

Fanny:
Poopy, no!

Sheriff John Wydell:
You're gonna have to stop somewhere, sometime, and when you do I'm gonna be there to put the wrath of the Lord up your ass.

Fanny:
Poopy, don't go!

Captain Spaulding:
God damn it, stop calling me Poopy! Leave me alone, woman!

Fanny:
But, Poopy...

Captain Spaulding:
Leave me alone!

Fanny:
Poopy, no!