A Letter to Three Wives

Mrs. Finney:
Can't we have peace in this house even on New Year's Eve?

Sadie:
You got it mixed up with Christmas. New Year's Eve is when people go back to killing each other.

Mrs. Finney:
"Good night, Mother dear, and don't wait up." If a daughter of mine ever really talked like that I'd cut her tongue out!

Addie Ross:
She won't stay mad at him for long. She's too much in love. Pretty soon she'll be full of self-reproach. Ha ha! Women are so silly.

Porter Hollingsway:
It's a man's world. Yeah! See something you want, go after it and get it! That's nature. It's why we're made strong and women weak. Strong conquer and provide for the weak. That's what a man's for! Teach our kids that, there'd be more men!

Sadie:
The cap's out. Makes me look like a lamb chop with pants on.

Sadie:
Look, I don't teach you about teachin'. Don't teach me about ducks.

Rita Phipps:
Pardon my fingers.

Mr. Manleigh:
Sadie may not realize it, but whether or not she thinks she's listening, she's being penetrated.

George Phipps:
Good thing she didn't hear you say that.

Deborah Bishop:
Why is it that sooner or later no matter what we talk about... we wind up talking about Addie Ross?

Addie Ross:
[off voice] Maybe it's because if you girls didn't talk about me you wouldn't talk at all.

George Phipps:
The purpose of radio writing, as far as I can see, is to prove to the masses that a deodorant can bring happiness... a mouth wash guarantee success and a laxative attract romance.

Rita Phipps:
People in the show business, you know what I mean, those kind of people always drink scotch.

George Phipps:
Well, I know what you mean, but I wish you wouldn't say it in radio English. "That kind", not "those kind".

Rita Phipps:
There are men who say "those kind" who earn $100,000 dollars a year.

George Phipps:
There are men who say "stick 'em up" who earn more. I don't expect to do either.

Porter Hollingsway:
Like my wife. Comes from an old Spanish family named Finney.

Porter Hollingsway:
What do you want me to do about it - build you a personal broadcasting system?

Lora Mae Hollingsway:
You don't need a station. Just yell a little louder.

Sadie:
You oughtn't to run around like that. You'll get consumption.

Lora Mae Hollingsway:
All right, so I'm gonna disgrace the fair name of Finney. Wait till it snows and throw me out in the street.

Lora Mae Hollingsway:
I've got very definite ideas.

Porter Hollingsway:
Like what?

Lora Mae Hollingsway:
There's never been anybody in particular. Nobody special.

Porter Hollingsway:
Plenty that wanted to, I'll bet.

Lora Mae Hollingsway:
What do you think?

Porter Hollingsway:
That you've been waiting for that one guy to come along.

Lora Mae Hollingsway:
I got very definite ideas.

Porter Hollingsway:
What's he got to be like, this one guy?

Lora Mae Hollingsway:
Someone who wants to marry me more than anything else in the world.

Porter Hollingsway:
You sure got wrong ideas about things.

Lora Mae Hollingsway:
They may be wrong, but they're definite.

Lora Mae Hollingsway:
It's late. I'd better be going home.

Porter Hollingsway:
OK if I call you a cab?

Lora Mae Hollingsway:
Beats walking in the snow.

Mrs. Finney:
Of all the times to quit a job, just before Christmas with all the bills due and five months due on the icebox!

Sadie:
You got to make up your mind whether you want your kids happy or your icebox paid up.

Porter Hollingsway:
OK. OK, you win. I'll marry you. How about it?

Lora Mae Hollingsway:
Thanks... for nothing.

Porter Hollingsway:
Now what kind of an answer is that?

Lora Mae Hollingsway:
I don't know. I just felt like it. That's all.

Porter Hollingsway:
We'll do all right, kid. We're starting out where it takes most marriages years to get, out in the open. No jokers. You'll see. You've made a good deal, Lora Mae.

Mrs. Finney:
[walking into the room] Lora Mae, honey, if you want me I'll be over at the Callahans' playing...

Lora Mae Hollingsway:
Happy new year, Ma. We're gonna get married.

Mrs. Finney:
...Bingo! [She faints]

Lora Mae Hollingsway:
I've been a good wife. The best wife your money could buy.

Porter Hollingsway:
Strictly cash and carry.

Lora Mae Hollingsway:
Isn't that what you wanted? Isn't that what you told me? "Out in the open. You made a good deal, kid." Did you every stop to think, Porter, that in over 3 years there's one word we've never said to each other, even in fun?

Porter Hollingsway:
To you, I'm a cash register. You can't love a cash register.

Lora Mae Hollingsway:
And I'm part of your inventory. You can't love that, either.

Porter Hollingsway:
I asked you to marry me because I was crazy about you.

Lora Mae Hollingsway:
You didn't even ask me!

Porter Hollingsway:
I've been a good husband. You got everything you want.

Lora Mae Hollingsway:
If you'd only asked me, if you'd only made me feel like a woman instead of a piece of merchandise!

Porter Hollingsway:
Did you give me a chance to? All you ever showed me was your price tag.

Deborah Bishop:
Have you any idea how much Lora Mae is in love with you?

Porter Hollingsway:
[scornfully] No! How much?

Deborah Bishop:
So much she's afraid to tell you, afraid you'd laugh at her.

Porter Hollingsway:
Me laugh? She couldn't say it with a straight face. Lora Mae in love with me? It's all she can do to wait it out.

Deborah Bishop:
Wait it out?

Porter Hollingsway:
Yeah, like an annuity till it matures. Like a slot machine till it pays off. That's what she's waiting for. A chance to call it off, to collect. "The end of the line. Fares, please." Don't tell me about love and Lora Mae.

Lora Mae Hollingsway:
[who has just finished dressing for a date] How do I look?

Sadie:
If I was you, I'd show more o' what I got. Maybe wear somethin' with beads.

Lora Mae Hollingsway:
What I got don't need beads.

Deborah Bishop:
No. Let's wait. Why let Addie spoil our day.

Rita Phipps:
Not my day. Addie never saw the day she could spoil my day. [looks at Lora Mae] Did I put enough days into that?

Deborah Bishop:
[drunk] Who is Mister Ross?

Lora Mae Hollingsway:
[sardonically] Mister Ross took a powder about five years ago.

Porter Hollingsway:
No such thing, she gave him the heave-ho.

Lora Mae Hollingsway:
[arguing] He went out for a paper one night and never came back!

Deborah Bishop:
Porter says Addie Ross has got class.

Lora Mae Hollingsway:
And he knows class like I know navigation!

Rita Phipps:
[rising from country club dinner table to dance] Let's get into this George - something tells me this is going to be QUITE a waltz.

Lora Mae Hollingsway:
[dressed to lead a group of children hiking] Don't expected us back too soon - we kids are going after everything from sardines to wolves.

Rita Phipps:
[archly] You'll have no trouble finding wolves, honey.

Rita Phipps:
[laying down the law to Sadie] And lets get a couple of things straight. First, when you announce dinner...

Sadie:
I know, I'm not supposed to say "soup's on".

Rita Phipps:
How did I tell you?

Sadie:
I forgot.

Rita Phipps:
"Dinner is served"

Sadie:
[mockingly] "Dinner is served"

Rita Phipps:
And you're not to say it as though the food were poisoned.

Sadie:
All this fancy schmanzy because two people from the city are gonna eat here.

Rita Phipps:
Mrs. Manley is a very important person; she has charge of a great many radio programs, including the one I write.

Rita Phipps:
You know what I like about your program? Even when I'm running the vacuum I can understand it.

Rita Phipps:
Thank you so much.

Lora Mae Hollingsway:
[amused by Sadie's maid uniform] Sadie Dugan, what are you supposed to be, Baby Snooks?

Sadie:
Hiya Lora Mae.

Lora Mae Hollingsway:
Get a load of that cap - I can't wait to tell Ma!

Rita Phipps:
Lora Mae, would you sit there please?

Porter Hollingsway:
Come on, sit down.

Sadie:
There's a couple of things I could tell your Ma about you too.

Mrs. Manleigh:
This great situation belongs in a true-to-life drama - are you two related?

Lora Mae Hollingsway:
No we just had the same governess.

Sadie:
[laughing] Ya kill me!