A Night in the Life of Jimmy Reardon

Lisa Bentwright:
[unzipping Jimmy's pants] Jimmy, Jimmy can I see it?

Lisa Bentwright:
Won't something happen?

Jimmy Reardon:
Not if I don't want it to.

Lisa Bentwright:
It looks funny.

Jimmy Reardon:
Do you wanna hurt it's feelings?

Jimmy Reardon:
Lisa, Aren't you even gonna kiss me goodbye?

Suzie Middleberg:
I happen to know there are only four out of our entire senior class.

Jimmy Reardon:
Four what?

Suzie Middleberg:
Girls! Who have not been de-flowered.

Jimmy Reardon:
Yeah, right.

Suzie Middleberg:
Ask me one?

Jimmy Reardon:
Denise Hunter.

Suzie Middleberg:
I know the boy who did it. It happen last summer at a splash party at the Bentwrights.

Jimmy Reardon:
Lisa's house?

Suzie Middleberg:
This was before you knew her. Anyway, Denise walked into one of the rooms and... whammo! The petals fell. Over the year I have counted enough fallen petals to cover the Rose Bowl.

Jimmy Reardon:
I just don't feel like Jack the Ripper today!

Lisa Bentwright:
Where would you sleep?

Jimmy Reardon:
In bed, of course.

Lisa Bentwright:
Whose bed?

Jimmy Reardon:
We'll talk about that when we get there.

Jimmy Reardon:
I'm going to rape her on the way out.

Jimmy Reardon:
Al? Al Reardon? My father. My moral, upright, coffee sluping, status seeking, putting in overtime, hard day at the office, early rising, early bedding, make your own way in life father, had been screwing Joyce Fickett! that balding man with responsibilities was an extramarital joy-boy! no wonder i was having so much trouble! It was hereditary!

Jimmy Reardon:
The damn thing just had to fizzle out at the most important moment of my life. Six months of patience and top level planning and believing and coaxing and wooing and now this! This power failure! This black out! and for what? For helping out that poor, frustrated woman? Was there no justice?

Jimmy Reardon:
Do you want to give up? Is that what you're trying to tell me?

Fred Roberts:
That's right...

Jimmy Reardon:
Fine. Go to Harvard a virgin! But what are you gonna do when they ask you how many times you've scored? Those ivy league schools send out questionaires on that kinda stuff you know.

Fred Roberts:
I'll lie.

Jimmy Reardon:
Jesus, Fred; do you always have to drive nine miles an hour?

Fred Roberts:
Hey, i don't need to drive fast to get my kicks.

Suzie Middleberg:
How do you get your kicks?

Denise Hunter:
He reads.