A Smoky Mountain Christmas

Lorna Davis:
[singing, trying to write a song] In the night, birds in flight... [talking] That makes no sense! [resumes singing] Birds gotta sing, fish gotta fly... [talking] Oh that's better, "fish gotta fly." I'm a great writer, all right.

Lorna Davis:
Why don't you take your magic home and use it on yourself?

Lorna Davis:
[threatening the Sheriff] Come any closer and you're going to get your Christmas punch early.

Old Lady Jezebel:
In the last election, I cast my ballot for you!

Sheriff John Jensen:
That's great.

Old Lady Jezebel:
There's another one coming up...

Lorna Davis:
Who on earth is "Mountain Dan?"

Jasper:
He eats little kids... and uses their bones for weapons.

Mountain Dan:
If you're packin'...

Harry:
I'm not packing! I don't even know what it means!

Sheriff John Jensen:
I didn't catch your name.

Lorna Davis:
Well, I didn't throw it yet. It's Luella. Luella Durbin, and I'm just zippin' on down the road apiece, movin' right along!

Jezebel:
This is not the end! When I wake up...

Lorna Davis:
...We'll both be old and grey. Come on, lemme help ya down.

Lorna Davis:
[falls to the floor in a deep sleep] Ugh!

Mary:
[about Sheriff Jensen] I don't like him.

Lorna Davis:
You shouldn't ought to not like people, but if you're going to, he's the one not to like!

Sheriff John Jensen:
Never... never... wake up that woman! [points to Jezebel]

Jezebel:
If she were to stay for a spell, she'd be stayin' for one of MY spells! [evil laugh]

Lorna Davis:
[after the kids ask her if she is an angel that flew down from Heaven] I came UP here, not DOWN here, darlin'. And I made time, but I didn't fly.

Lorna Davis:
[as disguised Jezebel hands her a poisoned pie in the jail cell] Are you sure you didn't bake a file in here for me?

Old Lady Jezebel:
Oh, mercy, no. Just apples. And spice. And everything nice.