Aaagh! It's the Mr. Hell Show!

Mr. Hell:
Being red with pointy ears doesn't make me a devil, being a bastard does!

Tough Cop:
Shoot first, ask questions later. Maybe at the funeral.

Mr. Hell:
I'd like to introduce you to my lovely co-host, whose name I can't remember since I had sex with her and no longer care.

Mr. Hell:
It takes 9 months to make one episode of The Simpsons? We're doing a whole series in that time... but it's still good!

Damien:
Father I don't really see the point of trying to enroll in an all girls school

Mr. Hell:
Are you sure you're my son?

[Victorian lady detective accidentally exposed her ankle]

Man:
[throwing rock at her] Ankle slut!

[Serge has just finished his career as a porn star]

Serge:
Come on Lucky, let's go get laid!

[Lucky squeaks]

Serge:
Okay, okay give a guy time to adjust

[after Serge tries to shoot Lucky's new girlfriend, Lucky shoves her out of the way but she gets run over by a truck in the road]

Serge:
I know if I get a girlfriend you can kill her, okay?

Mr. Hell:
[doorbell rings] Oooooooh that must be the pizza boy! [opens door while getting baseball bat ready]

Mr. Hell:
[seeing his half-devil half-angel son Damien at the door, he looks at the screen] It was a holiday thing.

Mr. Hell:
This show is the last in the series, unless they're showing them in the wrong order, in which case see you next week.