Acapulco H.E.A.T.

Krissie Valentine:
I may be naive, but I don't understand how someone could possibly miss being a burglar.

Cat:
Cat burglar. Because, I used to run the whole job - case the mark, make the hit and fence the mechandise.

Krissie Valentine:
One stop shopping.

[Ashley thinks that Cat is too cocky for a solo mission]

Mike Savage:
Let me tell you something about cocky. When I used to fight, I had to go in the ring every time knowing I was going to win that fight - knowing there was no way I could lose the fight. I'll tell you right now, half the fight is attitude and Cat has the right attitude.

Mike Savage:
Okay, Catherine's a translator, so if they test you with languages can you handle it?

Cat:
Are you kidding? I dated Pierre for a year, Luigi for two years and spent the worst four weeks of my life with Boris the Russian from hell.

Krissie Valentine:
Well, it's certainly cheaper than Berlitz.

Cat:
And a whole lot more effective.

[Cat is captured after she discovers heroine being packaged for shipment]

Diana O'Brian:
They say curiosity killed the Cat.

Diana O'Brian:
I had these dreams that I'd become someone important, someone special. That's all I ever wanted.

Cat:
Well, maybe we all should be a little more careful about what we wish for.

Ashley Hunter-Coddington:
If I wanted a fish, I'll order one for dinner.

Mike Savage:
Fishing is not about food. It's about peace, quiet, nature...

Arthur Small:
Men like Steinholtz take men who are hungry and aimless and desperate and he gives them something to hate. Never underestimate the power of organized hate.

Cat:
Your job must be so exciting!

Frederica Fluke:
Actually, my job is to keep things not exciting.

Werner Steinholtz:
My friends, now is the time to take action with our hatred of the state this world has reached. The twisted brotherhood of democracy has ended.

Werner Steinholtz:
The Fourth Reich lives!

Arthur Small:
Marcus, it wasn't just Jews who died because of Hitler. It was Catholics, Communists, gypsies, homosexuals. What if next time it was Mexicans or slightly balding Englishmen? We can't just buy into this thinking!

[last lines]

[Ashley volunteers to cook dinner for the team, but each member remembers a previous engagement]

Ashley Hunter-Coddington:
Was it something I said?

Mike Savage:
No, darling. It was something you cooked, actually. Last week if I remember.

Ashley Hunter-Coddington:
That's mean!

Marcos:
Krissie and I, well, we just found each other.

Brett:
Marcos...

Marcos:
And if you're gonna ask me "how," don't ask me because I don't know how, but maybe if you stopped looking so hard, you'll find what you're looking for.

[first lines]

Ashley Hunter-Coddington:
It was Carnival time in Rio de Janeiro. There was music, dancing in the streets and a plot to assassinate an ambassador. It was our job to stop that assassination. We had been sent to Rio by C-5, a secret coalition of allied countries for who we worked. We are the H.E.A.T.: Hemispheric Emergency Action Team... Acapulco Heat.

[Ashley fusses with Mike's bowtie]

Mike Savage:
Ashley, we're crashing a party - we are not getting married.

Ashley Hunter-Coddington:
Thank God for small favors.

Mike Savage:
You know, you could do worse.

Ashley Hunter-Coddington:
Only if you wore a clip-on, darling.

Mike Savage:
I didn't realize assassinations needed a dress code.

Strake:
Whether she lives or dies depends entirely on how well you follow my orders.

Mike Savage:
Yeah, well, we don't do business with terrorists.

Ashley Hunter-Coddington:
What do you want?

Strake:
I demand the release of the twelve extremists held unjustly in Hondorus.

Ashley Hunter-Coddington:
Fine. We'll pass your message along to the proper authorities.

Strake:
Do! Twelve hours is all you've got. Tick, tick, tick, tick...

Mr. Smith:
Strake has kidnapped the princess? That puts C-5 in a very bad position.

Tommy:
Listen, martial arts were made mainly for combat, okay, but they mean different things to different people.

Cat:
They're all the same.

Tommy:
No, they're not all the same, otherwise there wouldn't be so many of them. Remember, it's the person that beats the attacker, not the martial art.

[last lines]

Mike Savage:
Hey, Tommy, why don't you show me some of that karate stuff.

Tommy:
Kung Fu Theater starts in five minutes. Come on.

Mike Savage:
Hey, they got "Billy Jack"?

Tommy:
Sure, Mike.

Mike Savage:
I don't understand. Why don't they wait until the babies are born before they kidnap them?

Ashley Hunter-Coddington:
Babies already born are more easily traced: birthmarks are recorded, footprints and photographs are taken. Kidnapping the mother and forcing labor makes it much harder to find the child later. Officially, the child doesn't even exist.

Mike Savage:
And I suppose there's a lot of money in this, too?

Ashley Hunter-Coddington:
A fortune. A couple can wait years to adopt through legal channels. When people are desperate, they'll pay anything.

Mr. Smith:
I'm sorry, Ashley, but you know the rules: if any of the H.E.A.T. team get in trouble...

Ashley Hunter-Coddington:
I know, I know. In the eyes of C-5 and the government, we don't exist. Well, forget the rules! This is Mike we're talking about.

Mr. Smith:
Don't you think I'd like to send in the marines, rescue Mike, kick some butt?

Ashley Hunter-Coddington:
Well, why don't you then?

Mr. Smith:
Because, like you, I have orders to follow.

[Ashley rescues Mike from the Salazar and his minions]

Mike Savage:
Well, it's fine time you showed up.

Ashley Hunter-Coddington:
You know, I could always kill you and blame it on Pepino.

[last lines]

[Ashley ruminates on what would happen if Mike had been executed]

Ashley Hunter-Coddington:
Do you know how many applications he'd have to pour through?

Mike Savage:
That would not be a problem. Who'd want to work with you?

Ashley Hunter-Coddington:
Well, thank you very much. I can think of lots of people.

Mike Savage:
Name one.

[lengthy pause as Ashley thinks]

Ashley Hunter-Coddington:
Mike Savage.

Mike Savage:
You got me there, didn't you.

[first lines]

Ashley Hunter-Coddington:
The funny thing about your past is that no matter how hard you try to escape it, no matter how far you run, it always manages to catch up to you. Cat and I were just about to learn that lesson the hard way.

[Ashley receives a letter with numerous forwarding addresses stamped on the envelope]

Mike Savage:
Wow! It looks like it followed you halfway across the world.

Arthur Small:
Well, that's the mail service for you. Very, very slow but incredibly persistent.

Mike Savage:
Kind of like you.

Mike Savage:
What is it, bad news? Come on, you can tell me. Private matters are my speciality.

Sergeant Saunders:
I suppose now would not be the time to tell you, "You'll never get away with this."

Roger Darwell:
Thank you for your analysis, Sergeant, but you're dead wrong.

Mike Savage:
Alex walking on the beach by himself - a perfect target. Why isn't he dead?

[Ashley is trying to select a dress for her big date]

Mike Savage:
I liked the other one better.

Ashley Hunter-Coddington:
That settles it. I'm wearing this one.

Mike Savage:
So now I don't have good taste?

Ashley Hunter-Coddington:
You have great taste - for beer and pretzels.

Mike Savage:
You're going out on a date, huh? With who?

Ashley Hunter-Coddington:
That's with *whom*. And yes, I'm going on a date for your information... with an old friend.

Mike Savage:
Yeah, well, *whom* is his name?

Ashley Hunter-Coddington:
Sergio Lanti.

Mike Savage:
Sounds like a piece of designer underwear.

Arthur Small:
You look like a man who is regretting what he did last night, or what he didn't do.

Mike Savage:
Both.

[last lines]

Mike Savage:
Why are you all dressed up?

Ashley Hunter-Coddington:
I'm going out.

Mike Savage:
Where?

Ashley Hunter-Coddington:
There's this little Italian restaurant at the marina. It's not quite the Elaine, but it's very romantic.

Mike Savage:
Another old friend?

Ashley Hunter-Coddington:
Yes, my best friend.

Mike Savage:
And whom might that be?

[whispers conspiratorially]

Ashley Hunter-Coddington:
You.

Mr. Smith:
C-5 is sending you on a re-con mission.

Ashley Hunter-Coddington:
Where to?

Mr. Smith:
An island off the coast of Venezuela called "Isla Anguila"

Mike Savage:
Sounds romantic.

Ashley Hunter-Coddington:
It means "Eel Island."

Mike Savage:
Still sounds romantic.

Mr. Smith:
Dr. Raul Kaufman has taken up residence there.

Ashley Hunter-Coddington:
He's the one who sold biological weapons to both sides during the Iran/Iraq war.

Mike Savage:
Sounds like a neutral guy.

Mike Savage:
The last time I was in a casino I lost my shirt.

Ashley Hunter-Coddington:
But it wasn't gambling. Wasn't there a pretty croupier involved?

Mike Savage:
You've been playing God. From what I've seen, you're under-qualified.

Tommy:
Hey, are you sure this is the place Chico told us about?

Marcos:
Ah, but who cares? To boldly go where no man has gone before!

Tommy:
Yeah, well, that's an understatement. This place isn't even on the map, man. It's probably totally uninhabited.

Cat:
Yeah, and I bet there's a reason for that.

Marcos:
Yeah, nobody's ever been there.

Cat:
Yeah, I bet there's a good reason!

[Marcos' boat floats out to sea at high tide, marooning Cat, Krissie, Marcos and Tommy on a deserted island]

Tommy:
Yeah, let's look on it as an adventure.

Cat:
An adventure is trying to catch a cab in New York City on New Year's Eve, not trying to figure out how not to starve to death on Gilligan's Island!

[examining an old military-issue phone that appears to be broken]

Cat:
This must be fifteen years old.

Krissie Valentine:
Hey, I do computers, not antiques.

Marcos:
Let me try. I took one of these apart when I was five.

Krissie Valentine:
Taking it apart is one thing, but can you put it back together?

[last lines]

Ashley Hunter-Coddington:
Mike, you are disgusting.

Mike Savage:
No, I'm not. I'm from Brooklyn.

Mike Savage:
You know something, Ashley, since every one in the world wasn't raised to your concept of good manners, maybe you can try to undestand theirs.

Ashley Hunter-Coddington:
What exactly is that supposed to mean?

Mike Savage:
It means that everyone wasn't raised in a twenty room mansion with hot and cold running servants.

Marcos:
What are you readin'?

Krissie Valentine:
It's none of your business.

Marcos:
Touchy, touchy.

Marcos:
Yeah. Hard cover - bad sign.

Tommy:
Yeah. She took off the dust jacket - that's another bad sign.

Marcos:
Mm-hmm. Too small for a technical book.

Tommy:
Way too thin for a novel.

Marcos:
Very suspicious. Pornography?

Mr. Smith:
We've traced the source to Polerdo, an island off the coast of Costa Rica. It's a small island, not much more than a fishing village, and a resort hotel used exclusively by honeymooners - Hotel Eros.

Mike Savage:
So do we go in with a fashion show?

Mr. Smith:
You go in with each other.

Ashley Hunter-Coddington:
Honeymooners?

Mr. Smith:
Do you have a problem with that?

Mike Savage:
Oh, nothing that a good divorce lawyer can't take care of.

Mr. Smith:
Perfect. You sound married already.

[Cat is strolling along the beach wearing a skimpy bikini]

Tommy:
What are you doin'?

Cat:
Sightseeing. You know, everyone starts to look the same hen they're in a bathing suit.

Tommy:
Yeah, with a few major exceptions.

Ashley Hunter-Coddington:
Does he have any idea who the hit man could be?

Krissie Valentine:
Only that he's ex-KGB. Brett is on the way to the airport with photographs of possible candidates. He thought you might recognize some of them.

Ashley Hunter-Coddington:
It's always nice seeing old friends, isn't it, Mike?

Mike Savage:
Definitely.

Mike Savage:
Maybe I'm just paranoid.

Ashley Hunter-Coddington:
It is one of your more endearing qualities.

[last lines]

Ashley Hunter-Coddington:
All's well that ends well.

Mike Savage:
So we'll have a glass of champagne?

Ashley Hunter-Coddington:
Lush.

Mike Savage:
Kool-Aid?

Ashley Hunter-Coddington:
Yeah, that sounds okay.

[first lines]

Mike Savage:
Hey! That target barely popped and you already fired.

Ashley Hunter-Coddington:
Shocking isn't it?

Mike Savage:
More like careless. There's no way your eyes could have adjusted that quickly.

Ashley Hunter-Coddington:
It has nothing to do with my eyes. I sensed it before I ever saw the target.

Mike Savage:
Well, how did you know it was a bad guy target and not the old lady with the kid?

Ashley Hunter-Coddington:
Feminine intuition.

Ashley Hunter-Coddington:
Everyone has access to intuition - it's not exclusive to women. It's just that generally women are more in touch with their emotions, so they're more open to receiving subtle impressions.

Catherine 'Cat' Avery Pascal):
Whoever said you were better than Ashley was scoring in the wrong categories.

[Suarez's thugs throw down their guns when Arthur plays a recording of police sirens]

Mike Savage:
Hey, Arthur, I thought you only liked disco.

Arthur Small:
It's classical, actually, but under the circumstances I thought this might do.

[Mike turns and shoots Suarez, who was hiding in ambush in a closet]

Mike Savage:
I guess I'm catching on to this feminine intuition stuff.

Ashley Hunter-Coddington:
Yes, I'm sure it wasn't a lucky guess.