Accidents Happen

Billy Conway:
Mom's in the hospital. They took a lot of her female stuff out, like her filipino tubes. Everything except her Aunt Mildred.

Louise:
You know what they say, when God closes a door, he opens a beer.

Gloria Conway:
I've got static to watch.

Ray Conway:
I'm the spokesperson for all useless bastards of the world.

Gloria Conway:
[to Billy, after he confesses to being the streaker at the convenience store] And you said, "I need to air my balls and steal from Drummond."

Billy Conway:
He'll call.

Gloria Conway:
And the pope has a key to the playboy mansion.

Gloria Conway:
I'm about to take my estrogen pill. And a nerve pill. Make that two nerve pills.

Mrs. Smolensky:
We all pay for our mistakes, Billy. You paid for yours long before you made them. Now you got to stop paying. See what the world has to offer.