Adam & Steve

Adam:
Yeah, he is a shrink. I think he knows more about this stuff than us. He has a degree. We just have Oprah.

Rhonda:
Oprah has made it impossible for me to have a close relationship with anyone besides Oprah.

Rhonda:
I'm sweating like Whitney Houston going through customs!

Rhonda:
Silence Sober-One!

Adam:
You know for a shrink he's really unaware.

Rhonda:
I'm tellin' you they're like preacher's kids!

Rhonda:
I have an audition for a lesbian cruise ship next week... I like lesbians. Lesbians like me.

Adam:
I may be damaged goods, but I'm goods none the less!

Rhonda:
[She of the formally fat] What're doin'? I can't eat that! One pie is like an appitiser to me, I eat that and I unleash the beast!

Adam:
Steve just broke up with me!

Rhonda:
Oh my God!

Adam:
There ain't no God!

Rhonda:
Why can't a lesbian diet and put on makeup at the same time? Because you can't eat Jenny Craig with Mary Kay on your face.

Adam:
Not bad for a dazzle dancer!

Norm:
Happiness is accepting life on life's terms, no matter what they happen to be. You just do your best with what you've been given.

[repeated line]

Charlie:
FAGS!

Rhonda:
You're an a**hole and a baby! You're an a**hole, and you're also a baby!

Adam:
I am tired of fighting you and the whole world just so I could have something as radical and subversive as a f***ing boyfriend!