Addams Family

Gomez:
We danced the Mamushka while Nero fiddled, we danced the Mamushka at Waterloo. We danced the Mamushka for Jack the Ripper, and now, Fester Addams, this Mamushka is for you.

Pugsley:
Are they dead?

Wednesday:
Does it matter?

Girl Scout:
Is this made from real lemons?

Wednesday:
Yes.

Girl Scout:
I only like all-natural foods and beverages, organically grown, with no preservatives. Are you sure they're real lemons?

Pugsley:
Yes.

Girl Scout:
I'll tell you what. I'll buy a cup if you buy a box of my delicious Girl Scout cookies. Do we have a deal?

Wednesday:
Are they made from real Girl Scouts?

Gomez:
That's the spirit, Thing! Lend a hand!

Morticia:
He looks so sweet. Looks just like a little entree.

Morticia:
Children, what are you doing?

Wednesday:
I'm going to electrocute him.

Morticia:
But we're late for the charity auction.

Wednesday:
But, Mother...

Morticia:
I said no.

Pugsley:
Pleeaaaase?

Morticia:
Oh, all right.

Morticia:
Thing, you're a handful.

Morticia:
Don't torture yourself, Gomez. That's my job.

Wednesday:
Please pass the salt.

Morticia:
And what do we say?

Wednesday:
NOW.

Morticia:
Wednesday, play with your food!

Gomez:
How long has it been since we waltzed?

Morticia:
Oh, Gomez... hours.

Gomez:
They say that a man who represents himself in court has a fool for a client. And with God as my witness, I am that fool!

Gomez:
2, 10, 11. Eyes, fingers, toes!

Morticia:
Gomez, last night - you were unhinged. You were like some desperate, howling demon. You frightened me. - Do it again!

Dr. Pinderschloss:
The human spirit, it is a very difficult thing to kill.

Grandmama:
Even with a chain saw!

Dr. Pinderschloss:
Love/hate, hate/love. Like for mama, no?

Gomez:
I did not hate my mother. It was an accident!

Grandmama:
Let's keep it!

Morticia:
Hush, mama! It's for charity! Widows and orphans. We need more of them.

Morticia:
Uncle Nick-Nack's winter wardrobe. Uncle Nick-Nack's summer wardrobe. Uncle Nick-Nack.

Morticia:
Margaret, about the séance tonight, I wish you'd come. It's Gomez. I'm terribly worried about him. He won't eat, he can't sleep, he keeps coughing up blood.

Margaret:
He coughs up blood?

Morticia:
Well, not like he used to.

Wednesday:
I'm a homicidal maniac, they look just like everyone else.

Margaret:
Everyone keeps asking where he got his costume.

Gomez:
It is a wonderful hat.

Grandmama:
Dinner's gonna be late.

Grandmama:
Here, boy! Here, boy!

Sally Jessy Raphael:
So, you say your son was kidnapped by voodoo witch doctors? Let's take a call.

Gomez:
Hello, Sally?

Sally Jessy Raphael:
Mr. Addams, please stop calling! We do not know where they meet!

Morticia:
Gomez, let's go for a drive. The whole family.

Gomez:
A drive? And miss Gilligan?

Uncle Fester:
Haven't you ever slaughtered anyone before?

Wednesday:
He's only a child.

Uncle Fester:
That's no excuse. Aim for a major artery. The jugular.

Margaret:
This is always so embarrassing. Why did I marry you?

Tully Alfford:
Because I said yes.

Wednesday:
Don't be a baby. I know what I'm doing.

Gomez:
Think of it, Thing. For twenty-five years we've attempted to contact Fester in the great beyond, and for twenty-five years, nothing. I'm beginning to think my brother truly is lost.