Adventure Time with Finn & Jake

Finn:
What time is it? Adventure Time!

Marshall Lee:
[rapping] Did you think I was lying? I said I'm evil without even trying. Already dead, so I'm not scared of dying. Drinking the red from your heart in one sitting. You think you got me pegged? You must be kidding! I raise the dead up and they do my bidding. Girl, I'm a thousand years old; I'm a riddle. Bad little boy. Yes, I'm bad but not little.

Marshall Lee:
[singing] Good little girl, always picking a fight with me. You know that I'm bad, but you're spending the night with me. What do you want from my world? You're a good little girl.

Fionna:
[singing] Bad little boy; that's what you're acting like. I really don't buy that you're that kind of guy. And if you are, why do you want to hang out with me?

Marshall Lee:
[singing] Don't you know I'm a villain? Every night I'm out killin', sending everyone running like children? I know why you're mad at me. I've got demon eyes and they're looking right through your anatomy. Into your deepest fears. Baby, I'm not from here; I'm from the Nightosphere. To me you're clear, transparent. You got a thing for me, girl. It's apparent.

Marshall Lee:
[after accidently getting stabbed with a spear] Oh, this is bad, guys! This is really bad!

Fionna:
[rushes to Marshall's side with Cake] Marshall! [the sun starts to rise, hurting Marshall even more. Cake provides shade for them] C'mon! You gotta be okay!

Marshall Lee:
[chuckles bitterly] I think this is it for me, Fionna. So... Why don't you just admit it? You're in love with me.

Fionna:
[gasps] I-I get that you flirt with me all the time and it's funny and whatever. But you're doing that NOW? [starts to cry] What are you trying to do to my head? [Marshall stares at her in surprise] You think I've got some little crush on you? Well for however long we've got left... For ONCE, DROP IT, you freak!

Marshall Lee:
[suddenly sits up and pulls the spear out] Faking it, faking it! Okay, my shirt is like filled with cream puffs! [opens his shirt to prove it]

Cake:
[relieved] Oh, goodness!

Marshall Lee:
[amazed] Glob, Fionna. You're like the realest person I've ever meet. [Fionna suddenly punches him in the cheek] Aw, my cheek meat!

Prince Gumball:
[Fionna, Gumball, and Cake go to the roof to investigate the strange noise. They find Marshall Lee playing his guitar. Fionna gasps happily and smiles. Gumball is clearly annoyed] Oh, it's just him.

Marshall Lee:
[mellow] Oh. Hey, Fionna.

Fionna:
Marshall Lee! [Gumball clears his throat irritably]

Marshall Lee:
[gasps; sarcastically] Oh! Forgive me! HELLO, Your Majesty! [sucks the cream out of a cream puff]

Prince Gumball:
Fionna, take me back inside.

Marshall Lee:
What? Is he kidding? [throws the used cream puff, hitting Gumball in the face]

Prince Gumball:
Oh, honestly! I'm going in. Come join me when you want more polite company.

Jake:
[singing] Oh, I'm in a boat with a couple of wackos / Shakin' my hips and dippin' my fat toe / In the water / Dip it in the water / This party's getting hotter / It's so hot that it's stupid.

Finn:
Look, I'm going whether you come with me or not.

Jake:
Oh, I'm coming with you alright. But only to be... disruptive and obnoxious!

Jake:
This is a crazy cruise, and Susan's our crazy captain, and I'm... a crazy clam. [Turns into clam] Boooowoop! [Dances] Ooh, ahh, doin' the clam.

Finn:
Stop acting like a clam, you ham.

Finn:
I never knew being fat and lazy was so rewarding.

Prismo:
I'm in a serious pickle, and I mean the bad kind. I mean like a really smelly brown pickle.

Jake:
Are you being stupid on purpose?

Jake:
I'm magic, I can do anything.

Ice Finn:
You dirty gangsters!

The Lich:
Everywhere you will die.

Ice Finn:
Heh, what?

The Lich:
You, your family... Everyone will die. Over and over, mountains of broken bodies beneath the wheel.

Finn:
Your name is Finn Mertens! Your best friend is Jake the Dog. You have a birthmark like a flaming sideways tear drop in like a really weird place.

Jake:
They're trying to peel me! I'm... not... a... banana!

Jake:
I have pants! Spun from spider webs... by pixies.

Jake:
Eh. Um. Uh. I choose... sandwich.

Cake:
CAT NIP! Sweet babies!

Fionna:
What? Hey, is this your bedroom?

Prince Gumball:
Fionna... [starts to take his shirt off]

Fionna:
Heh, woah... [Water drips onto her shoulder. Fionna looks up and sees the real Gumball frozen to the ceiling] WHAT? [the fake Gumball laughs evilly, eventually turning into the Ice Queen]

Ice Queen:
This was so much easier than I thought it would be! [attacks Fionna]

Cake:
[whispering to Fionna] Psst! Fi! Tell Gumball that you think he's hot!

Fionna:
[also whispering] What? No!

Cake:
Guys like to hear that they're hot!

Fionna:
Will you keep your voice down?

Prince Gumball:
Oh, Fionna!

Fionna:
[aloud, trying to sound casual] Heyyy, wassup?

Prince Gumball:
I thought we might have a little race. A playful race, to Marshmellow-y Mweadows!

Fionna:
Okay, but I'm gonna kick your butt! Not that I'm thinking of butts...

Prince Gumball:
Excellent. HI-YA! [takes off at top speed on Lord Monochromicorn]

Cake:
After him, Fionna! After your man! [she and Fionna race after them]

Finn:
Get up, Gork!

Gork:
[wakes up] Huh? Why?

Finn:
[sings] I'm not gonna let you lie here and waste away.

Finn:
[kicks Gork] You better get up, Gork, or I'll kick you up. Today's the day.

Gork:
Whoa, okay, man, just be cool.

Gork:
[kicks Gork again] And I'm not gonna be cool, 'cause I'm pipin' hot.

Finn:
[kicks Trudy and Kim] Get up, Trudy! Get up, Kim!

Kim:
Okay, okay!

Finn:
I'm not gonna let you rot!

Jake:
[wakes up] Hey, Finn.

Finn:
Ja-a-ake, stop tellin' me to enjoy bein' a foot, and get outta that trash!

Jake:
[chuckles] I can't take you seriously when you're singing, man.

Jake:
[kicks Jake furiously] GET UP! All of you make me sick! I'll fix you with my kicks! Gonna reconstruct y'all self worth...

Finn:
[kicks everyone out of the bridge]... brick by emotional brick!

Old Marceline:
[to Finn, in skeletal form] I warned you, you butt...

The Lich:
Aren't you cold, Finn?

Jake:
I can't have you messin' up my bread and butter, dude.

Fire Newt:
Stop farting on me! It's gross!

Finn:
You know the penalty for stealing boots.

Jake:
And that's poots. Poots on newts.

Jake:
All right, I'll help you, but you have to swear not to beat me up.

Finn:
I swear.

Jake:
And also, you have to talk in rhymes. Talk in rhymes all the times.

Finn:
I swear. And pigs have hair.

Jake:
See? The ocean isn't so bad, man.

Finn:
Yeah, it's pretty math, you psychopath.

Jake:
Now let's hit your fear of the ocean where the sun don't shine, in the sea cucumber.

Fear Feaster:
Am I supposed to live inside your stomach for the rest of my life?

Finn:
Everyone has a flaw, and I guess yours is having to smell like my nasty old guts.

Fear Feaster:
Wonderful.

Jake:
Slime Princess, you shouldn't marry Finn. He pees his pants constantly. All the time.

Finn:
[dancing with a girl made from pillows] It's really different than here. I mean, where I'm from, blankets and pillows are used for bedding.

Roselinen:
[laughs] Well they're used for that here too.

Finn:
[blushing] Ha-ha-ha.

Finn:
Imagination's for turbo-nerds who can't handle how kickbutt reality is.

Jake:
If you weren't a figment of my imagination, I'd wanna have yo' baby.

Princess Bubblegum:
You'll never get past these walls, I think!

Cherry Cream Soda:
Look at me, Root Beer Guy. I'm a Cherry Cream Soda and I have the same needs as any other Cherry Cream Soda! Or even diet cream soda.

Finn:
Algebraic!

Finn:
You're grounded mister!

Finn:
Chew on this!

Finn:
Tree trunks get those hot buns in here girl.

Finn:
Hey you know what time it is?

Jake:
Adventure time?

Finn:
No! Time for seven minutes in heaven. You're first!

Gumball Guardian #1:
Finn the Human, you have broken a royal promise for which the penalty is trial by fire.

Finn:
That's stupid.

Jake:
I'll kill you and raise your children as my own!

Finn:
Shmowzow!

Jake:
Stomachs are weird.

Finn:
[holds up the Jiggler] He looks like he's got two jiggly bellies stuck together.

Jake:
I've got that on my back. I call it 'my butt'.

Jake:
Slam a cow! That fool looks rump!

Jake:
Forget it, man. This horse is whack. It's got poobrain.

Lemongrab:
Infinite stairs are unacceptable!

[after being kicked out of Worm College]

Finn:
Well, that's it. I'm all out of ideas of how to learn this junk.

Finn:
OH! Let's just solve this thing with magic!

Finn:
[sadly] No, that's the easy way out.

Jake:
Yeah, it's the easy way out!

Finn:
Oh... oh yeah! [smiles]

Jake:
You're just gonna give a speech to a bunch of braniacs.

Finn:
[sigh] I can't hang with those guys! I'm full of stupid.

Jake:
Then we'll borrow some brains by goin' to the place where KNOWLEDGE LIVES!

Finn:
Oh, Brain Town.

Jake:
Uhh no, the library?

Finn:
[softly] The Library of the Undead...

Jake:
No, just the regular library.

[at the library]

Jake:
[reads book, frowns] Hey Finn, let's split! This turned out to be boring.

Ice King:
What?! Who dares enter the Ice Kingdom?

Finn:
Aw, Ice King's here.

Ice King:
Do you know why I'm here? Do you know what Ice King means?

Jake:
Yeah, I know what Ice King means: a big nerd!

Finn:
Oh, holy cow!

Tree Trunks:
Oh, no! A fly! Shoo! A fly landed on my pie, that's no good. Bye-bye. [Throws pie in trash]

Finn:
Tree Trunks, why did you threw that pie away? [Flies gather around pie]

Tree Trunks:
Flies wanted it, and they can have it.

Ice King:
Why don't people like me? Is it because I'm a magic user? Or is my beard too shaggy? I try so hard to be a good husband to girls. What's wrong with me?

Cosmic Owl:
Hoot! You're a sociopath.

Ice King:
Who are you? Oh, I know! You're probably a - a big nerd! Why don't you try being cool like me?

Jake:
I'd carve my face on the moon so the moon would look like my face.

Finn:
Tree Trunks, I got jacked up because of you! Look at my jacked-up face!

Tree Trunks:
Jake, I think Finn's getting jacked up again.

Jake:
He can handle it. He's twelve.

Lumpy Space Princess:
Nah, that's no bump. Its the early stage of the lumps.

Finn:
Is it serious?

Lumpy Space Princess:
It just means he's changing into a lumpy space guy on the count of my bite. It's just like um, you know, werewolf rules.

Finn:
Calm down bud, I'll sock the lumpiness out of you!

Lumpy Space Princess:
You have to travel by car in my world or else you'll fall into the lumpy abyss.

Lumpy Space Princess:
I can't help you because my parents are horrible idiots.

Jake:
If I came across your lifeless body, I'd clasp you dramatically for a kajillion years.

Finn:
I'm responsible, dude!

Jake:
So am I!

Finn:
That's a lie!

Jake:
It is a lie... and I take full responsibility for it!