After Sex

[first lines]

Leslie:
Oh, god, oh.

Christopher:
Ease, ease, easy, easy. Cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp. F***ing top five. That was... f***ing top five.

Leslie:
So what are you saying? Are you saying women have it easier than men?

Christopher:
Look, all I'm saying is that you guys, women, have one certain luxury that us men just do not have.

[last lines]

Marco:
So, uh, wha, wha, what do you really do, huh?

Alanna:
I'm an actress.

Marco:
All right. Jesus.

Leslie:
Love is not negotiable.

Christopher:
Oh, baby, everything is negotiable!

Leslie:
Love is not negotiable. No, not love. Love is a guessing game. And that's the beauty of it, there's no guarantees. It's like diving into a pool of water without knowing if it's shallow or deep. Sure, right, if it's shallow you end up hurt and paralyzed from the neck down. But if it's deep... it's a leap of faith. It's like throwing yourself out there without any guarantees. And that's what life's about!

Christopher:
Sure.

Leslie:
Okay, you know those carnival games? And you know how some of them are really hard to win and some of them are super easy and everyone wins? Well, that's the difference between love and sex. Sex is the game where everyone wins a little prize, and no one goes home a loser. And love is the game that's really hard to win. But if you do, and you get to take home that life size stuffed rhinoceros, it feels a whole lot better than taking home a shitty little plastic key chain.