Against the Current

Jeff Kane:
We are looking to buy a boat.

Boatyard Owner:
You sure can't have one for free... Ha-ha-ha [laughter, slowing turning into hysterical cough; also declining any help offer with a hand-sign. All shocked, cough lasts for about 20-25 seconds, and at the end, he spits out, saying:] What kinda boat?

Jeff Kane:
[totally confused] What?

Boatyard Owner:
What kind of boat you're looking for?

Jeff Kane:
Oh... aah... smallest one you got...

Boatyard Owner:
Like a canoe? [laughing, accompanied with small, scary cough]

Paul Thompson:
A motor-boat... with a weak motor...

Boatyard Owner:
A weak motor?

Jeff Kane:
Weakest one you got.

Katie:
He's gonna swim down the river to the city, and we need to ride next to him. So, you know, just anything that you could put along the side...

Boatyard Owner:
You swim to New York City?

Paul Thompson:
Yep.

Boatyard Owner:
Some sorta charity type of thing? A dollar for a mile, or something?

Paul Thompson:
Not really.

Boatyard Owner:
Hmmm... Well, I got an old whaler, with an old 70-horse-power engine, couldn't outrun the turtle [showing them to the coast, to the boat. Small cough and all move towards the coast] Twenty-four hundred bucks...

Paul Thompson:
[almost immediately] Sounds reasonable...

Jeff Kane:
Yea, I believe that's the going rate for all boats with weak engines.

Boatyard Owner:
You folks done much boating before? [small cough - everyone looking at each other... ]

Katie:
Uhmmm... I have. I went to the summer camp on lake Oregon. We had a water skiing, sometimes they let us steer a boat.

Boatyard Owner:
Well, this boat couldn't pull the turtle, much less a skier.

Jeff Kane:
What's with the turtles?

Boatyard Owner:
[after a short pause] Piloting a boat is lot different from driving a car.

Jeff Kane:
But, it, uh... starts with a key, right?

Boatyard Owner:
Yeah. But it has no breaks for starters...

Jeff Kane:
Neither did my last car. I think we will fine.