Agatha Christie's Miss Marple: A Murder Is Announced

Miss Lettie Blacklock:
Is this your idea of a joke, Patrick?

Patrick Simmons:
I can think of much better jokes than announcing a murder in the local rag!

[Edmund has made an unpleasant remark]

Patrick Simmons:
It's usually me who spoils the party with a bad joke.

[Mrs Harmon nearly trips over her cat]

Mrs. Harmon:
Oh, do be careful, Delilah!

Det. Inspector Craddock:
Delilah?

Mrs. Harmon:
My husband named her that. I'm afraid her moral standards are rather similar!

Hannah:
[when asked about the murder] The door bell rings, I answer the door, the door bell rings again, I answer the door again,the door bell rings again, I answer the door again, the door bell rings again...

Det. Inspector Craddock:
After the guests have all arived

Hannah:
Oh... I go to the dinning room to clean the silver, I hear shots, I scream, somebody turns the key and lets me out, I scream again, somebody hits me! I see blood.

Det. Inspector Craddock:
You scream again?

Hannah:
I think so. Are you going to arrest me?

Det. Inspector Craddock:
[smiles] Not today.

Mrs. Swettenham:
People don't announce murders! Marriages yes, but not murders. Put that dreadful paper down, and have a look.

Edmund Swettenham:
[Reading the Daily Worker] It isn't a dreadful paper.

Mrs. Swettenham:
You're not even a worker!

Edmund Swettenham:
I'm writing a book!

Mrs. Swettenham:
I mean real work.

Dora Bunner:
Well, young Edmund Swettenham moons around her a bit. He's a very odd young man - writes books - and I - I have heard that he's a - a Communist!

Miss Jane Marple:
Oh really, yes, well he must be rather lonely in Chipping Cleghorn.

Miss Murgatroyd:
[Murgatroyd is describing the murder] I remember that girl screaming and a voice saying, 'Put them up, please.'

Miss Hinchcliffe:
Ha ha! 'Stick 'em up,' and he certainly didn't say 'please!'

Dora Bunner:
[looking at the tea cakes] They're terribly pink, aren't they?

Miss Jane Marple:
Well, probably an artificial substitute for flavor.