All-Star Superman

Steve Lombard:
"Superman Saves Mission To The Sun"? We don't know that yet, Lois.

Lois Lane:
I already write Superman stories before they happen. If you don't know how big the sun is, go away.

Jimmy Olsen:
It's 333,000 times bigger than the size of the Earth. I looked it up on my Superman signal watch.

Dr. Leo Quintum:
Your trip to the sun overexposed your cells to solar radiation more than even your body can metabolize.

Superman:
I see it, like tiny fireworks beneath my skin.

Dr. Leo Quintum:
Your cells are over-saturated with power. Their bursting from within.

Superman:
I'm dying.

Dr. Leo Quintum:
I'm sorry, Superman. If I hadn't tried to steal fire from the sun, none of this would have happened.

Superman:
Don't apologize. You couldn't have known.

Dr. Leo Quintum:
But *he* knew. It was his plan all along. Luthor used me to kill you.

Clark Kent:
Why, thanks, Lois. I don't know where my self-esteem would be without you.

Lois Lane:
Alone, in front of the TV.

Lois Lane:
That key can't be safe.

Superman:
Why don't you give it a try?

[Lois tries to lift the key from the ground]

Superman:
I carved it out of a piece of dwarf star material. It weighs half a million tons.

Lois Lane:
So you're the only one who can lift it.

Superman:
I work pretty hard, Lois.

Lois Lane:
It all makes sense now. He's brought me here to be the mother of a race of super-children. Can't let that happen. They'll grow up and lie to everybody.

Superman:
You stole that necklace.

Atlas:
Don't you see? We couldn't fight the Ultra-Sphinx without help, so we let it chase us here.

Samson:
But we meant no harm to Lois, I swear to living Zeus.

Superman:
And I swear too. If she dies, you're both going to the Phantom Zone. Ultra-Sphinx, let's hear it.

Ultra-Sphinx:
Question: What happens when the irresistible force meets the immovable object?

Superman:
They surrender.

Atlas:
Wait a minute, what about our contest? Answering a riddle is hardly what I'd call a feat of strength.

Samson:
I agree. How about I wrestle you for her? Or is the mighty Man of Steel a coward?

Atlas:
Even the shield on his chest is yellow.

Superman:
Then we have a deal? If I win, you both leave the 21st century right now.

Atlas:
I'll be leaving, all right, with the beauteous Lois Lane on my arm.

Samson:
Not if I beat him first.

[they double arm-wrestle Superman]

Superman:
I'm sorry, have you two already started?

[slams their arms down]

Lois Lane:
My birthday gift's wearing off. I can't see radio waves anymore. I can't hear the stars singing. I'm tired and sore all over, like I've been dancing all night. Thanks for letting me spend a day in your world.

Superman:
You know, I do other things. I mean, besides being Superman.

Lois Lane:
You do a great Clark Kent impersonation. You almost had me fooled. Wait till I tell him about this.

Clark Kent:
Gotta get away from him.

[runs from Parasite behind a pillar]

Lex Luthor:
What's the matter, Kent? Afraid he'll absorb your cowardice?

Lex Luthor:
You know what happens when you take on Lex Luthor? The same thing that's gonna happen to Superman.

Clark Kent:
It's such a waste. You and Superman could have been friends and instead you're going to die.

Lex Luthor:
Ah, but he'll die first.

Superman:
You just moved into my fortress?

Lilo:
Shouldn't have left the key lying around.

[Steve lights Clark's coat on fire]

Clark Kent:
I know you're behind me, Steve. So whatever you're doing, just st - Ah!

[Clark slips and falls]

Steve Lombard:
I missed you, Kent. You're comedy gold.

[angered, Clark burns Steve's hairpiece with his heat vision]

Clark Kent:
Your hairpiece is on fire.

Steve Lombard:
I don't wear a - Ah!

[Lois dumps water on his hairpiece]

Jimmy Olsen:
That's gotta be a little embarrassing.

Bar-El:
[meant for Clark] It's worse than I thought. You choose to disguise your greatness and cavort with the apes as one of their own.

Lilo:
Have you no dignity?

Steve Lombard:
I'm loaded with dignity. I can see how you'd make the mistake but, despite this great bod, I'm not Superman.

Bar-El:
After everything we've done, you still show us kindness.

Superman:
My Earth parents taught me forgiveness. Humanity has a lot to teach us.

Bar-El:
Perhaps. Kal-El, son of Krypton, I'm proud to call you my kin. Our greatness lives on in you.

Superman:
We don't have much time.

Bar-El:
There's a way to save us both. Surely you've thought through it.

Superman:
Yes. But it has to be your choice. I'll try to find a way to cure you.

Bar-El:
But your own time is short. Do what you must. Send us to the Phantom Zone.

Nasthalthia:
Cool. When do I get my super-powers?

Lex Luthor:
The same day that I can trust you with the car keys.

Solaris:
Impossible, I made your sun red. You should have no powers. I see now. Your covering protects you from red sunlight. But it cannot survive this heat.

Superman:
It should work long enough for me to take care of you.

Solaris:
No, your sun is dying, but I kill you first.

Superman:
Stop this. Whatever Luthor offered you, he'll betray you.

Solaris:
I betray Luthor first. I will eat your sun, and replace it in the sky. Your people will pray to me, or die in the cold dark.

Nasthalthia:
Give me one good reason I shouldn't vaporize you.

Jimmy Olsen:
The front-page story we're gonna write about you for tomorrow's Daily Planet?

Nasthalthia:
Hmm.

Lex Luthor:
Did you ever think that it would end like this? Me looking down on you?

Superman:
Actually, I had the whole thing figured to end pretty much exactly like this.

Nasthalthia:
Are you okay?

Lex Luthor:
Better than okay. I can see the entire electromagnetic spectrum and those must be atoms, little clouds of possibility. Einstein couldn't connect the gravitational force to the other three, but if he could have seen this... It's so obvious.

Nasthalthia:
Uncle Lex?

Lex Luthor:
The fundamental forces are yoked by consciousness. Everything's connected. Everyone. And this how he sees things all the time. Every day.

Nasthalthia:
I don't know if I should be worried or mortified.

Lex Luthor:
It's a cruel joke. The mechanistic clockwork of reality hinging on a precious impossible defiance of entropy, on life. And the clockwork doesn't care. It's like - Like it's all just us, in here together. We're all we've got.

Nasthalthia:
You are embarrassing me beyond therapy.

Superman:
You'll have to forgive him, Nasthalthia. He just figured out how everything works.

Lex Luthor:
Give it back. I saw everything. I saw how to save the world. I could have made everyone see. If it wasn't for you, I could have saved the world.

Superman:
If it had mattered to you, Luthor, you could have saved the world years ago.

Lex Luthor:
You're right.

Lois Lane:
Oh, your poor face.

Superman:
No one can repair the sun but me, Lois. I'm turning into pure energy and I only have one chance to save the world.

Lois Lane:
That's all you've ever needed.

Superman:
I love you, Lois Lane, until the end of time.

Jimmy Olsen:
Are you sure don't want to speak at the memorial service? Thousands of people are there paying their respects.

Lois Lane:
He's not dead. He's up there fixing the sun. And when he's done, he'll be back. And I'll be here waiting for him.

Lex Luthor:
Doomed planet. Desperate scientists. Last hope. Kindly couple. Superman.

Dr. Leo Quintum:
We know all the story, Luthor. Why did you ask to see me? If this is an escape attempt...

Lex Luthor:
I'd already be free. No, I've already accepted my imminent execution. This is a confession. Forgive me, doctor. For have I sinned. A lot.

Dr. Leo Quintum:
You killed him.

Lex Luthor:
And my deathbed claims that I've seen the error of my ways can't change that. But there is one thing I can do to honor his memory.

Lois Lane:
Okay, how about you explain the time Clark was a witness in the Boss Grimaldi trial and you were his bodyguard?

Superman:
Batman was standing in for me.

Lois Lane:
And then Clark presented you with the key to the city, that was Batman too?

Superman:
A robot. Lois, when I misled you, it was for your own protection. But now I'm telling you the truth. Clark Kent and Superman are one in the same.

Lois Lane:
If you're telling me the truth now, doesn't that mean now you've been lying to me for years?

Lois Lane:
He knows I'm here. Gotta stop him. God forgive me, I've gotta stop me.

[fires Kryptonite gun at Superman and he's not hurt]

Superman:
Huh. Tickles.

Lois Lane:
What have I done?

Superman:
For one thing, you've confirmed my suspicion that I'm immune to Kryptonite.

Superman:
You've broken the moon.

Solaris:
Mercy.

Superman:
I don't think I have any left.

[destroys Solaris with a punch to its giant eye]