All Dogs Go to Heaven

Charlie:
Some of the poorest people I know are as broke as the Ten Commandments.

Charlie:
What a hopeless cad I've been. Blind to the needs of society's unloved.

Whippet Angel:
All dogs go to heaven because, unlike people, dogs are naturally good and loyal and kind.

Carface:
Gamblers are never happy, Charlie.

Charlie:
Nah water mains are green, this is red.

Charlie:
Hey wait, that looks like a water main.

Itchy Itchiford:
Naw, water mains are green. This is red!

Charlie:
Itchy, your color blind. You cant tell the difference.

Itchy Itchiford:
Thats true, but this is green.

Charlie:
Its red.

Itchy Itchiford:
Red?

Charlie:
Careful, Itchy.

Itchy:
Yeah?

Charlie:
Yeah. I think that might be a water main.

Itchy:
Nah, Charlie. Water mains are green. This is red.

Charlie:
You're colorblind. You always been colorblind!

Itchy:
That's true, but this is green.

Charlie:
It's red!

Itchy:
Red?

[He drills into the water main; outside, water bursts out of the ground]

Man:
BUSTED WATER MAIN!!!

Man 2:
Hit the lights!

Man 3:
Call command central!

[Charlie has escaped the pound]

Smiley:
Charlie? Ain't you s'pposed to be on death row?

Charlie:
No! I ain't supposed to be on death row.

Itchy:
Hey! I got him out.

Vera:
[sings] Things have changed, Charlie, since you've been gone.

Life hasn't been no piece of cake.

Chihuahua Gambler:
Carface ain't been treatin' us too good!

Vera:
Things are tough, but we carry on.

Smiley:
[sings while Charlie wins a game of craps] Could you spare a couple of bones, for old time's sake?

Charlie:
Why settle for a couple of bones when you can have the whole BAKE?!

[he laughs, puts the bones in a slot machine, gives it a kick, and hits the jackpot]

Itchy:
Charlie! Charlie, look! You hit the jackpot! Attaboy, Charlie, I'm proud of ya! Charlie, tell 'em!

[in the middle of the horse race, Stella Dallas gallops up to Sir Reginald]

Stella:
Yoo-hoo! Reginald! Excuse me.

Reginald:
Oh! [chuckles] Splendid! Hello, Stella! Jolly good day for a race, what?

Stella:
[laughs] Oh, yes. But, Reginald, honey, I do hate to rain on your parade, but did you know, [furiously] It's the Grand Chawhee's birthday?!

Reginald:
Oh, really? You don't... [monocle flies off; he goes awestruck] Oh! Terribly sorry.

Itchy:
You're in love with the girl. You've gone soft. You care about her.

Charlie:
Look, I don't care about the girl! I tell her things now and then. I pretend to be her best friend, but it's bologna!

Itchy:
I thought I was your best friend.

Charlie:
You are my best friend! With her, it's just business. It's always been business. I'm usin' the girl! And when we're done with her, we'll dump her in an orphanage. Is that okay with you?!

Itchy:
Sure, boss. Anything you say.

[At the end of the film]

Carface:
[roars] I'll get that gator if it's the last thing I do!

Annabelle:
Touch that clock, and you can never come back.

Carface:
Shut up!

Annabelle:
I said, touch that clock, and you can never come back!

Charlie:
[to the home audience] He'll be back. [winks]

[at the horse corral]

Charlie:
Anne-Marie, cupcake, sweetheart, please. Just talk to the horsey, huh? Talk to Mr. Horsey.

Itchy:
Hey, boss, maybe she only talks to rats. [chuckles]

Charlie:
Don't be stupid. She talked to me, didn't she?

Itchy:
Yeah. She talked to you. That makes you a rat! [breaks into laughter]

Charlie B. Barkin:
[while drunk] Hee-hee-hee-hee! You're the doggonest pals... a swell could ever have. [laughs] I love you, guys. You wanna sing with me? You wanna sing with me?

Itchy Itchiford:
I can't help it, Charlie. I itch when I'm nervous!

Anne-Marie:
You're not my friend. You're a bad dog!

Anne-Marie:
Charlie? I have to go to the bathroom.

Carface Carruthers:
I do not wish that I should share 50% of the business with my partner, Charlie.

Carface Carruthers:
That is no way to treat an old friend. Friends must be handled in a friendly and business-like way!

Carface Carruthers:
MORONS! I'M SURROUNDED BY MORONS!

Killer:
[while his ray gun is out of control] H-H-How do you stooooooop this thing?!

Ann-Marie:
Charlie.

Charlie:
Yeah, it's me. How you feeling, kid?

Ann-Marie:
Okay. How are you?

Charlie:
I've come to say goodbye.

Ann-Marie:
Where are you going?

Charlie:
Uh, just on a little trip. Listen, Squeaker, I want you to do something for me, alright?

Ann-Marie:
Uh-huh.

Charlie:
I want you to take care of Itchy. Ya know, just while I'm gone. You got a home now, and he doesn't have anybody.

Ann-Marie:
Don't worry, Charlie, I will.

Charlie:
Great. [clearing Throat] Well, goodbye, little buddy.

Ann-Marie:
Oh, Charlie, I'll miss you.

Charlie:
Yeah. well, I'll - I'll miss you, too, Squeaker. Now you - you go to sleep, huh?

Ann-Marie:
Charlie, will I ever see you again?

Charlie:
Sure. Sure you will kid. You know, goodbyes aren't forever.

Ann-Marie:
Then goodbye, Charlie. I love you.

Charlie:
Yeah. I love you, too.

Charlie:
Carface! [laughs] Hey, Carface! Ya decent?

Carface:
[opens the door] Charlie! Oh, is it really you?!

Charlie:
Is it really me? Haha! Is it really you? Hey, you put on a little weight. I told ya to stay off those sweets. [lies down on a chair and turns on some jazz music] This place is... This place is lookin' okay. A little ghost, but okay. Y'know, partner, I'm proud of you. But the customers, they ain't laughin'.

Carface:
[chuckles as he turns down the volume] Gamblers are never happy, Charlie. You know that.

Charlie:
Yeah, but I've been thinkin'. [turns up the volume] You know what this place needs? I mean, besides new curtains and chandeliers. It needs some class, a little culture, choreography, and some influence of the theater. Dancing girls. Whattaya say? Y'know what else...?

Carface:
[turns down the volume] Charlie, Charlie, Charlie. Times has changed. I've changed, you've changed.

Charlie:
[turns up the volume] Ha, what are ya talkin' about? I haven't changed.

Carface:
[turns down the volume] Charlie... Charlie, you've done time, and that's not good for business.

Charlie:
[turns up the volume] What are you sayin'?

Carface:
You are a dog with a record. [turns down the volume]

Charlie:
[turns up the volume] I was framed!

Carface:
I know that. [feigning tears] You're like a brother to me. That's why... Why...

Charlie:
Why what?

Carface:
[turns down the volume] We need to split up the partnership!

Charlie:
[turns up the volume] What?! Are you outta your mind?!

Carface:
They're gonna be lookin' for ya, Charlie. And what's the first place they're gonna look, huh?! Here! HERE!!! [removes the volume dial on the radio] I don't like it, Charlie, but it's for our own good.

[Killer tells Carface that Anne-Marie is gone while he's riding his model car]

Carface:
WHAAAAAT?! [throws a lamp at Killer] WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE IS GONE?!?

Killer:
Well... y'see, Boss...

Carface:
SHUT UP!!! CAN'T YOU JUST--- I--- AHH!!! [turns off the projector] MORONS!! I'M SURROUNDED BY MORONS!!! [pulls a lever, causing an engine to fall close to Killer]

Killer:
AAAHHH!!! But, Boss, it wasn't my fault. I mean, to be perfectly honest, y'see... [Carface throws a horn at him; uses a hubcap as a shield] Thunder was on duty. Take it up with him.

Carface:
I love that girl! I want her back... now!

Killer:
Boss, y'see, thing is...

Carface:
NOOOOOOOOWWWWWWW!!!!!

[Killer hangs above a piranha-infested pool after Carface learns of Charlie's survival]

Carface:
Charlie's alive, and I know he's got the girl. Killer, this is strike two. You're out.

Killer:
No, wait boss! Boss! I get one more strike boss, honest!

Carface:
[to his other thugs] Lower him. [Killer is lowered into the pool] Nothing personal, Killer. Business. You want something done right, you gotta do it yourself. How do I handle Charlie? Knives? Poison? Car didn't work. Something... something very special.

Killer:
Boss, Boss! Pull me up, please! I got a... I got a gun!

Carface:
A gun? Whattaya mean a gun? What kind of gun?

Killer:
[the piranhas start nibbling at his ears] Ya hear me, Boss?! I got a gun! Stop, fishies! Stop it! Ooh, you won't like what you taste! [is raised up] I don't taste that good! You've been eating too much! Boss! Pull me up! I got a... I got a... I got a... A Flash Gordon Thermo-Atomic ray gun, Boss.

Carface:
A ray gun. [chuckles evilly]

Annabelle:
[repeated line] Charlie...you can never come back...

Carface Carruthers:
So you see, Charlie, the story has a happy ending! I keep the girl and make a fortune and you...you get to go to heaven! You don't wanna go to heaven, Charlie? [chuckles maliciously]

The Hellhound:
You can never go back! Charliiiiie...

The Hellhound:
[in cut footage] Now, you are mine.