Allegro non troppo

[last lines]

The Orchestra Master:
We're unemployed, then.

The Presenter:
Unemployed...until the next movie. I've already got an idea. A brand-new idea. We could do a love story.

The Orchestra Master:
A love story?

The Presenter:
But not the usual kind about men and women. Lots of men and lots of women.

The Orchestra Master:
Wife-swapping?

The Presenter:
No, not that same old stuff. Something different. I like asymmetry. Seven men and one woman.

The Orchestra Master:
That'll cost a lot.

The Presenter:
No, not at all. We'll get little tiny men and make the woman real tall. It'll be fantastic!

The Orchestra Master:
Sounds scary.

The Presenter:
What do you mean scary? Seven little workers, so you get the social context, too. A mine! They'll work in a min! I can see them now, singing happily.

The Orchestra Master:
Have you thought of a title?

The Presenter:
That'll be easy. Let's see..."Sleeping Beauty". Now keep it under your hat or some screenwriter hack might steal the idea. You can't trust anyone these days. He'll change the title, play up the sex. And give it some crazy name like "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. And then we'll be screwed.

[opening lines]

The Presenter:
P:Ladies and gentlemen, you are about to see an unforgettable show, a film destined to become immortal, as immortal as the music which will follow, and which will be interpreted through animation. Beginning with his childhood fantasies, the greatest ambition that burns and swells in the soul of every creative animator is to illustrate music, to give visual form and color to its notes. With this film, we have finally succeeded in achieving this union of animation and classical music, a union we are sure is destined to live on throughout the history of film. A new and original film that has even astonished us, the men responsible, the men who, quite modestly speaking, can be called its creators. A film in which - in which - [consults a cue card] A film in which you will see the music and listen to the drawings. You might call it a film of magic, a fantasia.

The Presenter:
[Phone rings - Presenter answers; the caller is not heard]

The Presenter:
Hello. Yes. Who's speaking? Who is this? What do you mean, who am I? Who is it you wish to speak to? Eh? California?

The Presenter:
[To camera] It's Hollywood.

The Presenter:
[To phone] Hello! Yes! What? You've already -

The Presenter:
[To phone] Hello! Yes! What? You've already -

The Presenter:
Look, if this is some joke, I'm in no mood --

The Presenter:
No, but- No, but- there must be some misunderstanding.

The Presenter:
You're very ill-mannered...

The Presenter:
That's right, ill-mannered and a liar!

The Presenter:
Yes, I said you're a liar! A liar from California

[Hangs up and speaks to camera]

The Presenter:
It's nothing. They're mad. Mad as hatters. They insist that our film - this is all so ridiculous - was already made by a certain fellow years ago. A certain someone by the name of Prisney or Grisney. Some American.

[Picks up phone again]

The Presenter:
In any case, before you go around opening your big mouth, see the film first!