Along Came Polly

Sandy Lyle:
Reuben, I'm in a situation here. We have to leave now.

Reuben Feffer:
No. Can we stay a couple more minutes?

Sandy Lyle:
Dude, no. This is serious. I just sharted.

Reuben Feffer:
I don't know what that means.

Sandy Lyle:
I tried to fart and a little sh*t came out. I just sharted. Now let's go.

Reuben Feffer:
You're the most disgusting person I've ever met in my life.

Polly Prince:
You wanna come upstairs and have sex?

Reuben Feffer:
Huh?

Polly Prince:
I'm kidding!

Stan Indursky:
Good things.

Irving Feffer:
It's not about what happened in the past, or what you think might happen in the future. It's about the ride, for Christ's sake. There is no point in going through all this crap, if your are not going to enjoy the ride. And you know what... when you least expect something great might come along. Something better then you even planned for.

Polly Prince:
I've been living my life, okay? I've been in good relationships and I've been in shitty ones... and I've moved alot... and I've been happy, and I've been sad... and I've been lonely... and that is what I've been doing. Which is a lot more then I can say for some freak, who thinks he's gonna get the Ebola virus from a bowl of mixed nuts.

Reuben Feffer:
I know that I have a .013% chance of being hit by a car on my way home. Or a one in 46,000 chance of falling through a subway grate. So I try to manage that risk by avoiding danger and having a plan and knowing what my next move is. And I guess you don't exactly live your life that way. Yeah... which is great, but I'm not gonna ever be a dirty dancer, and I don't eat food with my hands, and I really like you, but I just don't think this is gonna work out.

Reuben Feffer:
Since we have been together I have felt more uncomfortable, out of place, embarassed, and just physically sick then I have in my entire life. But I could not have gone through that, I could not have thrown up 19 times in 48 days if I was not in love with you.

Claude:
Rueben! Look me in my eyeball...

Reuben Feffer:
So you ready?

Polly Prince:
Let's do it.

Sandy Lyle:
Let it rain!

Reuben Feffer:
So whose party is this again?

Sandy Lyle:
It's an art opening for this Dutch guy, Jost. His art sucks, but he used to sell me really good pot.

Sandy Lyle:
Oh, man, I'm so friggin' horny.