Amazing Stories

[last lines]

Skip Binford:
[Whispers] Honey? HONEY? The front door is locked. Could you come down and...

[porch light goes out]

Skip Binford:
Ahh I'll go in through the back door.

Skip Binford:
[Dog starts to bark and attacks Skip] No! NO! STOP! HEEL! DOWN! IT'S ME YOU STUPID ANIMAL!

Skip Binford:
[after Miss Lestrange brings the dog back from her dog training school] So? What's the big deal? I mean he doesn't look like a quivering, snarling, white-hot ball of canine terror to me.

[Miss Lestrange snaps her finger and the dog starts to bark. She snaps her finger again and the dog stops]

Miss Lestrange:
Cash or charge?

Skip Binford:
You look great honey.

Mrs. Bev Binford:
Thanks. I had my tips frosted.

Buffy Binford:
Oopie Baby want food too! [she holds her doll up and it belches very loudly]

[first lines]

[the doorbell rings]

Jo-Jo Gillespie:
Who is it?

Detective Watts:
My name is Watts. I think I have something that belongs to you.

Professor B.O. Beanes:
Why aren't you at home doing your homework, Miss Simpson? [looks to Brand] You're probably thinking about *sex* Mr. Brand!

Peter Brand:
No No, please no more!

Professor B.O. Beanes:
I will have you!

Peter Brand:
I didn't want to do it! She made me!

Professor B.O. Beanes:
SEX made you do it, Mr. Brand!

Professor B.O. Beanes:
Mr. Brand! Miss Simpson! Prepare to meet the misters! Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!

Professor B.O. Beanes:
[end lines] Mr. Brand! You're tardy again! So, Mr. Brand! It appears I have you where I want you, in DETENTION!

Peter Brand:
Mr. Beanes, detention is fine, just as long as you're OK.

Professor B.O. Beanes:
Well, actually, I have a little bit of a *sore* throat!

[Beanes pulls back the collar of his long trenchcoat and scarf to show the stitches holding his head to his body. Peter recoils in horror]

Professor B.O. Beanes:
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Professor B.O. Beanes:
[Beanes throws his head throw Peter's open window, Peter catches it and gasps in horror, flinging it away and hides in between the bed and the wall, then slowly raises up to look on his bed to see Beane's head, laying face up looking at him] I want to see you in detention, Mr. Blaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh! [sticks his tongue out as he curses Brand's name. Brand faints, lightning flashes in the open window to a headless body lurching into the room to retrieve... ]

Professor B.O. Beanes:
[pursuing Brand] Brand! Brand! I will have you! Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha! [chastising his body for running too slow] Faster you fool!

[last lines]

Charlene 'Charlie' Benton:
Who are you?

Older Charlie:
Look in the mirror... 30 years from now... and you'll know who I am. [pause] Thank you for saving my life, Charlene.

[first lines]

[a small crowd starts attacking a mummy in a forest]

Crowd leader:
Kill the monster!

Ezra:
[Upon seeing the actor mummy looking at his newborn baby] The Mummy's a daddy!

Ezra:
I told you them mummies ain't got no necks!

[first lines]

Al Lewise:
Hi, honey! I'm home!

Randy Lewise:
Hi, dad. Mom's not at home yet.

John Walters:
I know I'm not much to look at, but there is the added bonus that I don't have any money, either!

John Walters:
I know I'm not much to look at, Miss Dickinson, but there is the added compensation that I haven't got any money, either!

[last lines]

Ben Oltman:
[to Katherine] You... you just killed your husband.

Lois:
Don't you think it's important for us both to be in the mood?

Herbert:
Don't worry about it. I got enough mood to go around!

Diana Willoughby:
It never ends, daddy. It changes. But it never ends.

Kathryn Willoughby:
I felt so sure she'd be found safe. It's a hope that never died, George. Never died. But sometimes false hope needs to be put to rest.