An Extremely Goofy Movie

Goofy:
The world will be your clam.

Max:
Oyster, Dad.

Goofy:
No thanks. I'm saving room for wienies.

Max:
Peej, isn't ten hot dogs enough?

Goofy:
Don't forget to have some milk with those donuts!

Bobby:
Free eats at the dorma. Pizza! Double cheesa!

Max:
Let's do it to it!

Max:
Gentlemen, welcome to the first day of the rest of our lives!

Bobby:
That's pretty deep. You get that line off a bumper sticker?

Max:
We'll dethrone you and your friends, Your Royal LOWNESS.

Tank:
Help me! Anyone! 911, baby.

Max:
Tank, talk to me!

Tank:
Dog boy, am I glad to see you, sweetheart.

Bobby:
Don't worry, bro! I'm a yellow belt!

Goofy:
I'm not gonna be at college to pick up after you.

Goofy:
In fact, it's gonna be a long time before you see your old man again. What, maybe Christmas?

Max:
Ah, Dad, it'll go by fast.

Max:
Not too fast, I hope.

Beret Girl in Cafe:
Max, Max, Max. Admit defeat, and defeat will surely admit you into permanent custody, my man.

Max:
[watching Goofy and Sylvia dance disco] If the Gammas don't keep my dad out of our hair, his new girlfriend will!

Max:
[pulls off Goofy's afro wig] Dad, you're scaring people. [throws the wig directly into the garbage can]

Max:
[To Goofy, who admitted he wanted to get closer to him at college] Don't you get it? I'm trying to get AWAY from you! I'm not a little kid anymore! Now just leave me alone, and GET YOUR OWN LIFE!!!

Bobby:
Do you ever wonder why we're always, like.... wearing gloves?

Beret Girl:
(To Bradley Uppercrust III) Well I'm dizzy right now from watching your downward spiral.

Beret Girl:
(Again, to Bradley) Oh, you slay me, tiger. You are the fly in my soup. You are the eyelash in my eye. You are so busy blowing out bad vibes in every direction that we are all choking on your second-hand smoke!

Beret Girl:
(as the Gammas leave) Now that's the first time I've seen the trash take itself out.

Beret Girl:
Max, Max, Max. Admit defeat, and defeat will surely admit you into permanent custody, my man.

P.J.:
[giving directions to the college] Okay dude, uh, south. No wait, that's uh... I dunno, man, do I look like Magellan?

Max:
P.J., you couldn't even spell Magellan.

P.J.:
Try hanging a Louie. Nononono, that's the other Louie.

Max:
Louie, Huey, Dewie, what are you talking about here?

Bobby:
[pointing to the map] Yo, it's right here; this way.

Max:
Yeah P.J., Bobby's right. Uh, hey, Bob, um... Who's driving?

Goofy:
[to Max] Hold it right there!

Max:
[sees Goofy and is stunned with anger] Dad? YOU AGAIN?!

Goofy:
[happily] Maxie! Thank goodness, I came back to see you!

Max:
[becomes enraged] I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO--

Goofy:
[interrupting him] Now listen, son. [angrily] My own life's OFF!!

Max:
[gasps in shock] Y-Y-You're own life's off?!?!

Goofy:
Of course!

Max:
Hold on! I'm a grown up, because you are my WORST nightmare!

Goofy:
Hmm. Nope! You are my son!

Max:
I'm not you're son!

Goofy:
[angrily] YOU ARE MY SON!!!!!

Max:
YOU'RE STILL NOT LEAVING ME ALONE ABOUT IT??? [he screams ferally and two of them start fighting]

Goofy's Boss:
Goofy! I warned you! You're... FIRED!!!!!!!

Max:
[happily, as he goes to sleep] Ah... finally... no more nightmares. And most of all, no 'Goofy's.

Max:
Gentlemen, I welcome you to the first day of the rest of our lives.

Bobby:
Wow. That's pretty deep. Did you get that off a bumper sticker?

Bobby:
[speaking with a phony French accent] Me and a little crumpet like yourself could make beautiful bongo music together.

Ava:
Whoa, easy boy. You're fogging up my karma.

Max:
Hey, you wanna sit with us?

Ava:
Sure. Your cool balances out [snaps fingers] his fool.

Bobby:
Okay, whatever...

P.J.:
It is endemic of the current culture that those with large stature are overlooked-except by vultures-with no regard to the depth of their souls, the height of their passion, the beauty of their moments.

Beret Girl:
Oh, wise Buddha boy. How could anyone overlook such a bundle of yes-ness? Let's dance. [yanks P.J. out onto the dance floor by the arm]

Max:
Okay, dad, come on! YOU WANT TO PIECE OF ME?! [Goofy punches him]

Goofy:
Oh, Sylvia, I... oh, if you'll let me I...

Sylvia:
Shh! No talking in the library.

Goofy:
Oh, gawrsh, Sylvia. I really care about you.

Sylvia:
Well gee. If a certain someone truly cared about another someone, you would think that the certain someone would show up for a certain special dinner, or at least apologize for not showing up, or even call or... something!

Goofy:
Oh, you're right. I'm so sorry. I let my head get so filled up with fiddle-faddle that I plumb lost track of everything that's important to me - countin' you. Can you ever forgive me?

Sylvia:
[After a moment] Oh, how can I not forgive you?

Max:
[angrily] DAD! Don't you understand? I AM A GROWN-UP!!

Goofy:
[stunned in anger] Maxie, what are you saying?!? You ARE my son!

Max:
Dad? What are you doing?

Goofy:
Something you've should done, Max! Because... you are my little baby.

Max:
HUH?!? [goes berserk] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGHH!!!!!!!!!!

Goofy:
I like you!

Max:
I hate you!

Goofy:
I LIKE YOU MORE!!

Max:
I HATE YOU MORE!!

Goofy:
I EVER LIKE YOU, MAXIE!!!

Max:
I A THOUSAND TIMES HATE YOU!!!!

Goofy:
LITTLE!!!!!!

Max:
BIG!!!!!!!!!

Goofy:
[failing the test] Wait a minute! I'm not finished! I've got--

Teacher:
IT'S ...over, Mr. Goof.

Bradley:
We'll win how we always win. And how's that, Gammas?

Tank:
Skill?

Gamma:
Eh, good looks?

Bradley:
No, you dense dopes. We cheat.

Gammas:
Cheat! Cheat! Cheat!

Tank:
Just like we did last time, sweetheart.

Bradley:
And that was a great cheat. But now...[sinister] I have a much better plan.

Goofy:
[quietly] I gotta warn Maxie!

Max:
Hey, Brad! What did you do with me?

Bradley:
He didn't make the cut. See, he was never Gamma material.

Referre:
False start! False start! Both teams back on point! Get back here!

Max:
Wait! Hold on! Bradley just blasted our third guy into the next state!

Bradley:
Why, that is absurb. I did nothing of the sort.

Max:
[groans] That's what my dad has been trying to tell me!

Tank:
Help! Bradley! Gammas, help me! Anyone! 9-1-1, baby!

Max:
[coughing] Tank, talk to me man!

Tank:
Over here, man! Dogboy! Am I glad to see you, sweetheart.

Goofy:
Max, where are you? Where are you, Max? Maxie! [slips on Max's skateboard]

Max:
Dad, help me lift this beam off of Tank! [Goofy gets up and starts to lift the beam up just as the burning debris is about to fall]

Tank:
Come on! We're about to be Baked Alaska. here!

Bradley:
Congratulations, Max. We still haven't forgotten our agreement.

Max:
The bet's off, Bradley. [points to Tank] But I think you owe him something.

Tank:
Brad. Hi. It's me, the guy you let down.

Bradley:
[nervously] Hey, Tank! Baby! Who loves ya, baby? Huh?

Tank:
[growls] You're goin' down like a four-set pair of socks.

Bradley:
You and me, baby! All the way!

Tank:
Oh, a vacancy at the Gamma house. Takin' applications.

Bradley:
Okay, okay! Let go of me, you big, fat jerk!

Tank:
Time to get on the last jet...[fires Bradley towards the sky]...to nowhere!

Goofy:
But... this is yours.

Max:
No, Dad. It's for you. Read the back.

Goofy:
[reading the back of the trophy] "I might not be your little boy anymore, but I'll always be your son."

Max:
Do you realize going off to college means no more well meaning, but totally smothering, overprotective, doting, a-hyuck-ing dads?

P.J.:
Yeah, well... yours, at least. My dad's been counting down the days until he can turn my room into a bowling alley

Goofy:
Gawrsh, Pete. One day, you're changing their diapers, and the next thing you know... they're all grown up and leaving for college.

Pete:
Well, Goof, the way I see it, it's my last day of babysittin' and I'm a free man! Oh, yeah! [laughing] Free, free, free I tell ya! [laughing] Come on, son! I can't miss ya if you don't leave! [laughing harder]

Max:
If I can't even beat my father, who is probably the most athletically challenged man in the universe, how can you expect me to beat the other competitors? We're starting in last place because of me!

Bobby:
That never stopped us before! You want to give that Gamma geek Bradley the satisfaction of knowing he forced us out?

Max:
Well... no.

Bobby:
You want to let the crowd who once cheered for you cheer for someone else? Especially when that someone else is your old man?!

Max:
No!

Bobby:
Are you gonna be someone else's towel boy?!

Max:
NO!

Beret Girl:
[after Max, P.J. and Bobby leave excitedly] Boys... will be boys.

Pete:
Oh, look, Goof, it's no big deal. All that book learning doesn't prepare you for doodly-squat. It's useless in the real world. Ha! All them square roots, and circumnavigating and circumference and... bah! It's all "garbology." Lookie here. If you know that four quarters adds up to a simoleon, you'll survive.

Bradley:
We'll win how we always win. And how's that, Gammas?

Tank:
Skill?

Gamma:
Eh, good looks?

Bradley:
No, you dense dolts. We cheat.

[Goofy is shocked]

Gammas:
CHEAT! CHEAT! CHEAT!

Tank:
Just like we did last time, sweetheart.

Bradley:
And that was a great cheat. But now...[sinister] I have a much better plan.

Goofy:
[quietly] I gotta warn Maxie!

Tank:
That's some kid you got there.

Goofy:
[smiling] You're wrong, Tank. He's not a kid anymore.

Max:
Hi, dad.

Goofy:
Maxie.

Goofy's Boss:
Mr. Goof! And assembly aline for a assembling! Stop daydreaming, and get back to work, or else!?

Goofy:
Oh, oh.

Goofy:
[hums a bit while cooking toast, chuckling as he grins at the eggs and bacon face he made, then at the pancakes and waffles on plates] Did you brush your teeth?

Max:
[drinks the milk] Yeah, Dad.

Goofy:
Comb your hair?

Max:
Yep. [snatches the toast]

Goofy:
Did you put on clean underwear?

Max:
[gets annoyed] Dad!!

P.J.:
[O.S.] C'mon, Max!

Max:
Oop! Gotta Go!

Goofy:
But Max!

Max:
[comes out, tossing his bag on top of the vehicle with Bobby, on top of the vehicle, slipping to the ground]

Goofy:
Going already?

Max:
Yeah, I have to get there early for freshman orientation, Dad. See ya!

Goofy:
What about breakfast? You need your three squares a day, you know.

Max:
Don't worry. We'll pick up donuts on the way. Love ya! Miss ya! See you at Christmas! Bye!

Goofy:
Don't forget to have some milk with those donuts. Good-bye, my little college man. [mournfully enters the house, approaching the stairs before sighing mournfully, walking up. He comes to the top while stopping as he looks inside the now empty bedroom. He sniffs a bit before looking at the ground, noticing a sock with hole on the ground, folds the sock, putting it up before looking at the mirror, noticing on the reflection something. He turns, looking surprised as he sees the stuffed bear on the bed, comes to it, but sits on the bed before holding the teddy] Gawrsh. [touches the belly plush, The bear squeaks a bit before Goofy looks around the room, but sighs depressingly, cradling the teddy bear]

Bobby:
Check it OUT?!

Max:
Look, I talked to him and laid out all the ground rules: No interfering with the "X" Games practice, no hounding us about schoolwork, no coming into our room unannounced, and no acting like a father, (swiftly) especially mine. He's got his life, I've got my life. (Max's voice echoes) My life. My life. My life.

Bobby:
(pauses) Spooky.

The next day, Max bitterly walks in the halls of college before Goofy notices him

Goofy:
Maxie? (uneasily) I've been looking all over for you, son. Where have you been? I can't warn you how sorry I am.

Max:
[gets pissed off at Goofy] Oh, save your breath! (to Goofy angrily) You may have won this time, but, Dad...oohhhh!!!! This campus just isn't big enough for the both of us.

Goofy:
I didn't mean for it to turn out this way. I was just tryin' to get closer to ya.

Max:
[loses his temper] Oh, don't you get it? I'm trying to get away from YOU!! I'm not a little kid anymore! Now just leave me alone and GET YOUR OWN LIFE!!! [furiously runs into his class, Goofy tries reaching for Max before he depressivly sighs]

Teacher:
Good morning, people. It would appear that it is time to start. You may open...

Goofy:
[opens the door and enters]

Teacher:
Ah, Mr. Goof. Nice of you to join us today.

Goofy:
Huh? Oh, yeah. Right.

Teacher:
You may open your envelopes and begin.

(The envelopes are opened with the papers glanced a bit. The fat dog sighs a bit, looking at where Max is busy writing frustratedly with the students near him glancing.)

Teacher:
[swiftly pushes Goofy's head to the papers] Let's not have any wandering eyes.

Goofy looks at the papers, but sighs as he starts writing. As that is happening, Tinkerputt looks at the familiar serpent looking at one of the students. Later, as the students are sleeping with the testers taking the tests, Goofy is scribbling Max's name before he sighs, looking depressed. At that moment, Goofy notices the flower in the picture transforming to real flowers before out comes a man. He turns the tape player on before the man motions Goofy, now in white background, to follow. The area swirls before Goofy notices himself on a chair with a table as the sun is starting to rise. He notices a flower blooming before a teacup is shown. The dream tea is poured to one of the cups past a flying teacup. The man grins with Goofy happily taking the drink. Just then, out comes a fairy Max whom grins as the dog grins back. Then out comes another fairy Max, along with a third from the teacups and sugar bowl, much to the bowl's annoyance. Many Max fairies come to the grinning Goofy as they wave

Fairy Maxes:
Hi, Dad.

[At that moment, a man flies past him before going near Goofy. He comes to Goofy, smirking as he points to Max fairies flying below the table. After a moment, a flash occurs before up comes Max, whom grins. He points as Goofy yelps as the now big shadow begins covering the dog. To his notice, he sees a furious and monstrous Max growling in frustration, violently snatching the tablecloth as Goofy is tumbled off, shrieking]

Goofy:
Yaaah-hoo-hoo-hoo-hooey!!! [falls downward, the familiar visions begin showing up with each shouting]

Goofy's Boss:
YOU'RE FIRED!!

(The van begins honking rapidly)

Unemployment Lady:
I notice you don't have a college degree.

Pete:
C'mon, son! I can't miss you if you won't leave! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!!

Goofy:
[smashes to some horseshoes before he falls downward] Whoa! [smashes to the ground as everything flashes. He moans before sitting up at where a white background is at]

Max:
[O.S.; pissed off] GET YOUR OWN LIFE!!

Goofy:
Huh?

Max:
[O.S.; pissed off] GET YOUR OWN LIFE!!

Goofy:
[looks around with concern before looking up where the top is showing the pissed off Max, now normal]

Max:
[lividly screams at Goofy] Leave me alone and get your own life! [angrily shuts the door on top locks shut before everything fades as Goofy only looks down in depression]

Teacher:
[Goofy crying] Pencils down. I said... pencils down.

Goofy:
[failing the test] Wait a minute! I'm not finished! I've got--

Teacher:
IT'S ...over, Mr. Goof.

Bradley:
Excuse me?!

Larry:
You what?!

Shorty:
Uh, no way!

Burly:
What are you talking about?! Eh?!

Bradly:
[frowning] Just what makes you think you can change your mind on the last day of the competition?!

Tank:
Should I knock some sense into his big melon?

Bradley:
Whoa, whoa. Down, Tank. Easy, boy. If you're thinking you're quitting the Gammas to join that freshman geek son of yours, you've had another fact coming.

Tank:
[mockingly] Bull's-eye, baby. Dog-boy's in danger, and Daddy's gonna bail him out.

The Gammas':
[chuckle cruelly]

Goofy:
No, siree, sir! [furiously grabs a stick and angrily jams Tank in the crotch]

Tank:
[screams in pain and holds his balls] Got my bunion!

Goofy:
I'm not gonna be on anyone's team.

Bradley:
Smart man. But you forgot one fact. (frowns) Nobody...I repeat...nobody quits the Gammas!

Goofy:
[furiously tosses a stick aside and angrily snaps at Bradley] If you were such darn winners before, you'll be just fine without me. [angrily pushes Bradley a bit] I'm leaving the Gammas, and that's that.

Bradley:
No, you're not leaving the Gammas. [violently kicks Goofy out of the building and angrily shouts] The Gammas are leaving YOU!!

Shorty:
(waves) Sayonara.

Burly:
Yes! Hasta la vista, baby!

Goofy:
Gee! I think they're a little sore at me. [looks at his tunic, noticing the pin yet on himself, realizing as he removes it] Whoops! Better return my Gamma pin.