Attack of the 50 Foot Woman

Nancy Archer:
I know where my husband is! He's with that woman!

Harry Archer:
You know everyone's seeing satellites these days.

Harry Archer:
You know, you're going to flip your lid just one time too many with me, Nancy.

Harry Archer:
Now you pulled a boner tonight and you know it.

Dr. Isaac Cushing:
She will tear up the whole town until she finds Harry.

Deputy Charlie:
And then she'll tear up Harry.

Dr. Isaac Cushing:
At last she has Harry all to herself.

Dr. Isaac Cushing:
Astonishing growth!

Sheriff Dubbitt:
Oh, Charlie. Go get the riot gun. We're taking a ride out to the desert with Mrs. Archer.

Deputy Charlie:
Right. Why the heavy artillery, Chief?

Sheriff Dubbitt:
We're looking for a satellite and a 30-foot giant out on 66.

Deputy Charlie:
A 30-foot giant? Oh, no.

Jess Stout:
[about the Sheriff's gun] You're not going to use that on her, are you?

Sheriff Dubbitt:
What do you want me to do, put salt on her tail?

Honey Parker:
You're the deputy, do something!

Deputy Charlie:
I can't shoot a woman!

Dr. Heinrich Von Loeb:
How long will the morphine be effective?

Dr. Isaac Cushing:
No telling with the size of her body.

Harry Archer:
I should never have agreed to go back to her once we were separated.

Honey Parker:
Why did you?

Harry Archer:
You know why. I couldn't pry a nickel out of her. That community property routine only works of women! A man hasn't got a chance!

Honey Parker:
Unless the wife dies. [He looks around in shock] I didn't say anything.

Harry Archer:
You were thinking it!

Honey Parker:
Not the same thing.

Nancy Archer:
My husband!... My gigolo! That's what you are. You're a miserable parasite! You're just after my money! I was rid of you once. Why did I take you back? Why? Why?

Harry Archer:
Why did you, Nancy?

Nancy Archer:
Why?... because I love you, Harry!

Honey Parker:
You know what our problem is? We both have the same disease: money, and happy ways of spending it.

Krkr-Tv Commentator:
Ladies and gentlemen, this is KRKR-TV. And now, more news of high fliers. Nancy Archer, the former Nancy Fowler, heir to the Fowler fortune and the fabulous Star of India diamond, has joined the ever expanding international circle of satellite seers. Mrs. Archer claims not only to be seeing a sociable satellite, but also its inhabitant, a 30-foot giant. It seems that Mrs. Archer, who has been feuding with her husband, Handsome Harry, has found a man from out of this world, someone who will love her for who she is. Is he pink with big ears and tusks? Come, come, Mrs. Archer. Any man can resist a million dollars, but fifty million? That's too much to ask for, even from the man in the moon.

Delivery Man:
[at the Archer house] Four lengths of chain. Meat hooks. 40 bottles of plasma and an elephant syringe.