Baby Take a Bow

Kay 'Funny Face' Ellison:
Two tickets to Niagara Falls, please.

Train Teller:
Oh. Congratulations, ma'am. What train?

Kay 'Funny Face' Ellison:
The 9:20, and I want to stop off at Ossining.

Train Teller:
Ossining? You mean, Sing-Sing?

Kay 'Funny Face' Ellison:
No, I mean Ossining.

Welch:
Well, hello Kay! Here you are, here's a seat for you.

Kay 'Funny Face' Ellison:
The further I sit from you, Mr. Welch, the better I like it. [to Porter] Take those bags into the next car, please.

Porter:
Sorry, Miss. The train's full up today.

Welch:
Here you are, Kay. Sit right down here. [Kay drops train tickets, and Welch picks them up] Two tickets to Niagara Falls, eh? How romantic. That's where honeymooners go. Oh, yes. Eddie Ellison gets out today. Say, you're not really gonna marry that guy, are you?

Kay 'Funny Face' Ellison:
Any objection?

Welch:
Say, listen, kid. I like you. I want to give you a little friendly advice.

Kay 'Funny Face' Ellison:
[scoffs] Friendly advice. Well, that's good, coming from the fellow that caused Eddie's conviction.

Welch:
Now take it easy, Kay. I'm telling you that I'm your friend. More than a friend.

Kay 'Funny Face' Ellison:
Yes, you tried to be more than a friend, ever since you had Eddie arrested.

Welch:
Now, don't be that way. You're a nice girl, and you're about to make the mistake of your life.

Kay 'Funny Face' Ellison:
That's my business.

Welch:
You're a nice girl and you're about to make the biggest mistake of your life.

Kay 'Funny Face' Ellison:
That's my business.

Larry Scott:
Sure it is, and don't let him tell you any different!

Kay 'Funny Face' Ellison:
We're not going back to the city, Eddie. I've got a big surprise.

Eddie Ellison:
What is this, a practical joke?

Kay 'Funny Face' Ellison:
It's no joke, but boy it's practical. We're going to Niagra Falls.

Eddie Ellison:
You mean, right now? From here?

Kay 'Funny Face' Ellison:
The train leaves in half an hour.

Eddie Ellison:
Gee, you're swell and I'm the luckiest man in the world.

Kay 'Funny Face' Ellison:
Luck had nothing to do with it. You couldn't get away from me if you tried.

Eddie Ellison:
I tried to hide from you in prison and it was hopeless.

Eddie Ellison:
Well, if it isn't my old pal Welch, big as life and twice as natural.

Larry Scott:
He's still got it in for you! He's been giving the one-two the whole way up here, trying to promote himself.

Welch:
I was just trying to give Kay here a little friendly advice. I know a lot more about crooks than she does.

Larry Scott:
Why, you! [he tries to punch Welch, but Larry stops him]

Larry Scott:
If you slug him, you'll get in trouble. You're on your way out. Keep going. I'm on my way in. I got nothing to lose. [he punches Welch]

Kay 'Funny Face' Ellison:
Did you tell her about her present?

Eddie Ellison:
Who, me? Gee, won't she look cute in that?

Jane Scott:
Oh, it's darling.

Kay 'Funny Face' Ellison:
It cost an awful lot.

Eddie Ellison:
It's for Shirley, isn't it? She only has a birthday once a year.

Kay 'Funny Face' Ellison:
Every day is her birthday with you.

Eddie Ellison:
Well, why shouldn't it be? Say, here's another littl gadget I bought for Shirley.

Larry Scott:
What is it?

Eddie Ellison:
Take a look. [He hands Larry a small telescope. When Larry looks into it, it leaves a black ring around his eye]

Larry Scott:
I don't see anything.

Eddie Ellison:
No, but we do!

Kay 'Funny Face' Ellison:
Oh, Eddie, you and your tricks. You're not going to give that to the baby. You're making her as bad as you are.

Kay 'Funny Face' Ellison:
Sleeping sickness, get up.

Eddie Ellison:
What time is it?

Kay 'Funny Face' Ellison:
What time do you want? It's time for you to get out of that bed.

Eddie Ellison:
I wasn't sleeping, I was thinking.

Kay 'Funny Face' Ellison:
Get up! Your breakfast will be spoiled! [She hits him]

Eddie Ellison:
Ow! Hey, what are you doing?

Larry Scott:
Top of the morning to you.

Kay 'Funny Face' Ellison:
And the heat of the evening to you.

Kay 'Funny Face' Ellison:
Sit down and have some coffee.

Larry Scott:
Aren't you going to wait for Eddie?

Kay 'Funny Face' Ellison:
I should wait and eat a cold breakfast? Not for any husband. Sometimes I get so mad I could give him poison.

Eddie Ellison:
And sometimes I get so mad I could take it. What do you know about that?

Larry Scott:
To hear you two in the morning, you'd think you were ready to jump at each other's throats.

Kay 'Funny Face' Ellison:
In the morning? What about the rest of the day?

Larry Scott:
Well, I just hope Jane and me get along as well as you two.

Kay 'Funny Face' Ellison:
Eddie, Larry and Jane got engaged last night!

Eddie Ellison:
Well, I don't see why a fine girl like Jane would want to marry a mug like you.

Trigger Stone:
So you're Eddie Ellison's kid.

Shirley Ellison:
I'm not a kid, I'm a girl, and today is my birthday.

Larry Scott:
Sometimes I wonder if going straight really pays.

Eddie Ellison:
Hey, cut out that kind of talk, will you?

Larry Scott:
But what will Jane think?

Eddie Ellison:
She's a hundred percent for you. She wouldn't think anything bad about you any more than Kay would me. We won't tell them anything tonight, though.

Larry Scott:
Why not?

Eddie Ellison:
I don't want anything to spoil Shirley's birthday party!

Shirley Ellison:
I want to thank you all for my presents. Thank you very, very much. And I hope that someday when it's your birthday, I can give them all back to you.

Warden:
Eddie, when you were admitted here, I gave you a choice of two roads to take. You took the right one, and it got four months off your stretch for you. Now, will you let me advise you again?

Eddie Ellison:
Certainly, sir.

Warden:
Something kept up your morale while you were up here.

Eddie Ellison:
You're a good guesser, Warden.

Warden:
Well, whatever it was, stick to it outside. Have you got a job waiting for you?

Eddie Ellison:
The biggest and best job a man ever had.

Warden:
Good wages?

Eddie Ellison:
Not a cent.

Warden:
Well, but how - ?

Eddie Ellison:
I've had a girl waiting for me for eighteen months.

Warden:
Congratulations, my boy. The very best of luck.

Eddie Ellison:
Well, if it isn't my old pal, Welch. As big as life and twice as natural.

Larry Scott:
He's no pal of yours, fella. He's still got it in for you.

Eddie Ellison:
What do you mean?

Larry Scott:
He's been throwing hooks into you all the way up on the train. Trying to promote himself.

Welch:
Yeah. I was just trying to give her a little friendly advice, that's all. I happen to know a lot more about crooks than she does.

Eddie Ellison:
Why, you - [moves as if to hit Welch]

Kay 'Funny Face' Ellison:
[restraining him] Eddie, Eddie!

Larry Scott:
If you sock him, you'll get into trouble. You're on the way out. Keep going. I'm on the way in, so I've got nothing to lose. [punches Welch in the nose]

Eddie Ellison:
Thanks, fella. I'll be seeing you when you get out.

Larry Scott:
Good luck. I wish I could be your best man.

Shirley Ellison:
Daddy, come here. Tell me what you bought me for a birthday present.

Eddie Ellison:
Oh, no. That's a secret.

Shirley Ellison:
Will you tell me if I guess?

Eddie Ellison:
Well, maybe.

Shirley Ellison:
A pair of roller skates?

Eddie Ellison:
No.

Shirley Ellison:
A dollhouse?

Eddie Ellison:
No.

Shirley Ellison:
Aw, Daddy. If you tell me, I'll tell you what I'm going to get you for your birthday.

Eddie Ellison:
Oh, no. I want to be surprised.

Shirley Ellison:
Will you tell me for a kiss?

Eddie Ellison:
Well, that's awful tempting, but...

Shirley Ellison:
I'll bet I know, a ballet dress.

Eddie Ellison:
A ballet dress. Now, what made you think of that?

Shirley Ellison:
Cause that's what I want most.

Eddie Ellison:
Come on, now, you little g-nomey, you've gotta go to sleep. Go on.

Shirley Ellison:
[singsong] I'm gonna get a ballet dress. I'm gonna get a ballet dress.

Eddie Ellison:
[singsong] Don't tell Mommy I told you.

Shirley Ellison:
[singsong] I won't.

Larry Scott:
Say, how 'bout going to the movies with us tonight?

Kay 'Funny Face' Ellison:
Oh, thanks, but we can't leave Shirley.

Larry Scott:
They're showing 10,000 years in Sing-Sing at the Cameo.

Eddie Ellison:
Gee, what a long stretch!

Jane Scott:
They say it's awful funny.

Eddie Ellison:
Not for my dough.

Larry Scott:
Well, come on, Jane. We'll be late.

Eddie Ellison:
Say, Larry, what's your hurry? If you miss three or four years, it don't make any difference.

Kay 'Funny Face' Ellison:
Have a good time.

Larry Scott:
Thanks. Sorry you won't come with us. So long.

Kay 'Funny Face' Ellison, Eddie Ellison, Jane Scott:
Good-bye.

Eddie Ellison:
Oh. Hey, Larry.

Larry Scott:
Yeah?

Eddie Ellison:
We've got to be on the job early in the morning. Stop by for me, and we'll dunk a couple of doughnuts.

Larry Scott:
Right.

Eddie Ellison:
And say, let me know what the guy did to get 10,000 years.

Kay 'Funny Face' Ellison:
What's happened?

Eddie Ellison:
Well, the breadwinners have stopped winning.

Larry Scott:
Yeah, looks like we're in for a little vacation.

Jane Scott:
You mean you were discharged.

Eddie Ellison:
Well, not exactly. We were canned.

Kay 'Funny Face' Ellison:
But they can't let you off for nothing.

Eddie Ellison:
No. I know they can't. But they did. Welch saw to that.

Jane Scott:
Who's Welch?

Larry Scott:
Well, he's an old friend of ours.

Kay 'Funny Face' Ellison:
Will you excuse us for a minute? I want to talk to Eddie alone. [Eddie and Kay go into the next room] Now listen, Eddie. When we were married we said we'd go 50-50 on everything, didn't we?

Eddie Ellison:
Uh-huh.

Kay 'Funny Face' Ellison:
Well, that meant joy and trouble, too. You always let me in on the joy, now. Why not the trouble?

Eddie Ellison:
There's nothing more to tell.

Kay 'Funny Face' Ellison:
Eddie, look at me. Did Larry have anything to do with this?

Eddie Ellison:
No.

Kay 'Funny Face' Ellison:
Well, then. We haven't a thing to worry about.

Welch:
[Welch is searching Eddie's apartment for a stolen pearl necklace] What kind of a sap do you think I am?

Eddie Ellison:
I don't know. What kind of a sap are you?

Welch:
Now, let's see. If I was in your spot, I wonder where I'd hide that necklace.

Eddie Ellison:
Let me see. Maybe you'd swallow it.

Larry Scott:
I read in Popular Mechanics where Zulus hide jewels by sewing them under their skin.

Eddie Ellison:
That'd be all right if we were Zulus.

Shirley Ellison:
[Trigger Stone is lying tied up on the floor] Hey, mister, your beads were lost, but I found them.

Trigger Stone:
That's fine. You're a smart little girl. Now, go on, cut me loose.

Shirley Ellison:
Are you playing the game, too?

Trigger Stone:
Of course I am. Your old man tied me up so I couldn't peek. Let's you and me fool him.

Shirley Ellison:
Do you think that would be fair?

Trigger Stone:
Why, sure, it would. It'll be a big joke. We'll all bust laughing. Now, go on. Get something, and cut me loose.

Trigger Stone:
Won't your dad be surprised when he finds out I'm gone.

Shirley Ellison:
You said he'd bust laughing.

Eddie Ellison:
[to Shirley] Baby, take a bow.