Bad Taste

Derek:
Stick all the bits of brain in a plastic bag, Barry.

Derek:
Suck my spinning steel, shithead!

Derek:
I'm a Derek and Dereks don't run!

Ozzy:
The old magic is still there.

Ozzy:
The bastards have landed!

Barry:
I think Derek's turned his toes up, guys.

Alien Leader's Voice:
That's the end of those weekend cowboys!

Alien Leader's Voice:
I'm sure you'll be pleased to be leaving this shitty planet!

Derek:
Stay where you are then, and I'll give you an eye witness description of this, intergalatic wanker!

Alien Leader's Voice:
Tomorrow we're having *you* for lunch!

Alien Leader's Voice:
I think the gruel is ready!

Derek:
The headshot's the only true stopper.

Derek:
There's no glowing fingers on these bastards.

Frank:
Well, I guess we'll have to issue a gun to Ozzy

Barry:
Yeah, but don't forget about his personality disorder

[barry getting chased by an alien wielding an axe]:

Derek:
[on the radio] I think you better kill him Barry.

Barry:
Jeez, he could be from the Ministry of Works or somthing.

Derek:
Nah, he's moving too fast.

Barry:
Why can't aliens be friendly?

Derek:
There's no glowing fingers on these bastards. We've got a bunch of Extra-Terrestrial psychopaths on our hands. Like a... like a visit from a planet full of Charlie Mansons. They've wiped out a small town for starters, it's my guess they'll go onto something bigger next time. Christchurch, Wellington...

Barry:
Auckland?

Derek:
Yeah, well that wouldn't be so bad.

Frank:
This isn't gonna be another false alarm like the Manor Street invasion over there, is it?

Derek:
Well, how do you explain the disappearance of an entire township, Frank? Oh! The Kiwi Jonestown, of course, that's it! Drinking beer laced with cyanide from little polystyrene cups.

Barry:
What are we gonna do if we're spotted, Frank?

Frank:
Well... I guess we shoot the bastards.

Frank:
Just remember, we're only authorized to use violence when protecting the planet.

Barry:
And the moon.

Frank:
Yeah, and the moon.

[after frank had to drink the "gruel"]

Frank:
oh christ, you'll never believe what i had to do!

Ozzy:
umm... did you have to drink some chuck?

Derek:
What are you dirty hooers doing on my planet?

Derek:
Well this sure has buggered your plans for conquering the world, eh? Hehe... my friend, the astro-bastard, time for talkies. By the time my colleagues get here I want to have you babbling in some extra-terrestrial language!

Derek:
Eat lead sucker!

Derek:
I'm coming to get you bastards. [laughs in a mad way]

Derek:
I'm born again!

Ozzy:
[after shooting the alien that was about to execute Giles in the head] I bet that cleared the sinuses.

Lord Crumb'S Voice:
The sad news is that we will be heading back to nalak not with six of our co-workers in a state of permanent death. They died today, murdered by some real arseholes.

Lord Crumb'S Voice:
[after trying to fire on Barry with an empty gun] Oh, sod it!

Coldfinger:
I think this is a job for real men!

Lord Crumb:
[Sniffing on bowl of alien vomit produced by Robert] Mmmhh, exquisite bouquet, Robert!

Lord Crumb:
[drinking bowl of alien vomit] Aren't I lucky, I got a chunky bit!