Batman/Superman Movie

Superman:
Bruce Wayne!

Batman:
You peeked.

Lois Lane:
You lied to me!

Bruce Wayne:
Now I never actually said I wasn't Batman.

Clark Kent:
Of course, you have been dividing your time between work and Lois.

Bruce Wayne:
Is that a problem?

Clark Kent:
Let's just say I'm concerned. Your reputation is... dubious. In and out of costume.

Bruce Wayne:
Don't worry. I'm taking Lois quite seriously. Besides, it seems to me you had your chance.

Joker:
Pay me one billion dollars, and I'll kill Superman!

Lex Luthor:
What makes you think you can kill Superman when you can't even handle a mere mortal in a Halloween costume?

Joker:
There's nothing mere about that mortal!

Harley Quinn:
Puddin'!

Batman:
At this point, he probably is.

Harley Quinn:
Hang on there, Clyde!

Harley Quinn:
Just look at what I'm selling! You'll plotz!

Detective Harvey Bullock:
Hey, he can't leave a crime scene with evidence.

Commissioner James Gordon:
You want to stop him? Be my guest!

Lois Lane:
Lane.

Lois Lane:
'Fraid so.

Lois Lane:
Um, Superman.

Superman:
Yes?

Lois Lane:
Um, how can I put this: I was just thinking... it might be nice to see each other when I wasn't falling out a window or something. Not that I'm not grateful for all the times you've helped me, you understand.

Superman:
I understand.

Lois Lane:
You do?

Lois Lane:
I understand, Lois. Really, you do? Yep, you're a complete moron. Why thank you, Superman, I think I'm a total loser, too. Jeez.

Lex Luthor:
The office, now.

Harley Quinn:
Swell, Mr. L.

Lex Luthor:
Mr. L?

The Joker:
I sense we are kindred spirits, you and I. Oh, there are differences, to be sure... like hair.

Lois Lane:
I hear he's nothing but Gotham trash. Rich, spoiled...

Lois Lane:
...and absolutely gorgeous!

Bruce Wayne:
I don't like guns.

Clark Kent:
So just keeps your ears open. Let me know if you hear any buzz about The Joker.

Bibbo:
Sure thing Mr. Kent. Eh, but, eh, which one? There's lots of jokers around here.

Batman:
Where's the Joker?

Batman:
It doesn't take much, does it?

Clark Kent:
Touché.

The Joker:
My, you do live dangerously. Don't you realize you're moving in on Superman's main squeeze?

The Joker:
See that he's street pizza! In this town, some flying fool could have caught him!

Batman:
Snap out of it, Kent, or Joker gets the last laugh.

The Joker:
Copy-bat! Copy-bat! Suffering from propulsion envy, Batboy?

The Joker:
Oh, this could be a fair fight after all! And who wants to see that?

Batman:
How do I contact Superman?

Lois Lane:
He's out at sea!

Batman:
Never around when you need him.

Lois Lane:
So when were you going to tell me? The honeymoon?

Lois Lane:
I'll get some iodine for that scrape. Burning, STINGING iodine.

Batman:
It's ironic, you know. She likes Bruce Wayne and she likes Superman. It's the other two guys she's not crazy about.

Superman:
Too bad we can't mix-and-match.

Lois Lane:
Oh, no.

Batman:
Has to be done.

Lois Lane:
I don't suppose a stern lecture on unnecessary risk-taking is going to sway you.

Batman:
Sorry.

Lois Lane:
I didn't think so. Just be...

Lois Lane:
...careful.

Superman:
Luthor's been lining all his buildings with lead. Blocks my X-ray vision.

Batman:
Well, there's always the direct approach.

Batman:
You're learning.

Harley Quinn:
I want a lawyer! I want a doctor! I want a cheese sandwich!

Mercy Graves:
Ha, ha, ha! Now that's funny!

Bruce Wayne:
She's all yours now, if you can handle that. But you'd better be good to her... because I know where you live.

The Joker:
More powerful than a locomotive... and just about as subtle.

Superman:
Thanks. I couldn't have saved Lois without your help.

Batman:
I'm aware of that.

Batman:
Expect the unexpected.