Be My Valentine, Charlie Brown

Lucy van Pelt:
[to Schroeder] Sometimes I don't think you realize that you could lose me. Are you sure you want to suffer the tortures of the memories of a lost love? [pause] Do you know the tortures of the memories of a lost love?

[Schroeder stops playing the piano just as Lucy goes berserk, demolishing the piano over her next line]

Lucy van Pelt:
It's awful! It will haunt you night and day! You'll wake up at night screaming! You can't eat! You can't sleep! You'll want to smash things! You'll hate yourself and the world and everybody in it! Awwwwww! [sobs, then quite normally] Are you sure you want to risk losing me?

Sally Brown:
[reading off a candy heart] "How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my soul can reach, when feeling out of sight for the ends of being and ideal grace."

[Snoopy arrives and begins to mime the poem behind her]

Sally Brown:
"I love thee to the level of every day's most quiet needs by sun and candlelight. I love thee freely as men strive for right; I love thee purely as they turn from praise; I love thee passion put to use in my old griefs and my childhood's faith. I love thee with the love I seemed to lose with my lost faith. I love thee with the breath, smiles, tears of all my life! - And, if God choose, I shall love thee better after death."

[Snoopy takes a bow, and kisses her hand]

Violet:
Charlie Brown, we've been feeling awfully guilty about not giving you a valentine this year. Here, I've erased my name from this one. I'd like you to have it.

Schroeder:
Hold on there! What do you think you're doing? Who do you think you are? Where were you yesterday when everyone else was giving out valentines? Is kindness and thoughtfulness something you can make retroactive? Don't you think he has any feelings? You and your friends are the most thoughtless bunch I've ever known. You don't care *anything* about Charlie Brown! You just hate to feel guilty! And now you have the nerve to come around one day later and offer him a used valentine just to ease your conscience! Well let me tell you something: Charlie Brown doesn't need your...

Charlie Brown:
Don't listen to him! I'll take it!

Linus van Pelt:
[after he tries to stuff his valentine box of candy for Miss Othmar into the valentines box] I can't get my valentine in the box. Is it all right if I give it personally?

Schroeder:
Miss Othmar, is it okay if Linus presents his valentine personally?

[we hear an indistinct trombone blabbering, which is really Miss Othmar]

Schroeder:
She said that would be delightful.

Linus van Pelt:
[happily] She said that'd be delightful! [going to his desk] This is gonna be better than I expected.

Linus van Pelt:
I spent all my money. I made a fool of myself.

[He begins throwing chocolates off the bridge and out of sight]

Linus van Pelt:
This one is for love! And this one is for Valentine's! This one is for ro-mance! This one is for Elizabeth Barrett Browning! This is for "How do I love *thee*!" This is for...

[We see Snoopy and Woodstock catching and eating the chocolates as he throws them]

[First lines]

Lucy van Pelt:
What are you doing, Charlie Brown?

Charlie Brown:
I'm waiting for valentines.

Lucy van Pelt:
Oh, well. Good luck.

Charlie Brown:
Thank you.

Lucy van Pelt:
You'll need it.

Charlie Brown:
You didn't have to say that!

[At Snoopy's puppet show]

Charlie Brown:
Have you ever been to one of these shows before?

Lucy van Pelt:
No, I can't say I have.

Charlie Brown:
Then maybe I should warn you about this first scene.

Lucy van Pelt:
What first scene?

[Water splashes on Lucy]

Charlie Brown:
When the carriage crosses the swollen river.

Charlie Brown:
[to Schroeder] Did you see my name on any of those valentines?

Schroeder:
No, I haven't been paying any attention. What's that briefcase for?

Charlie Brown:
Well, in case I get a lot of valentines, I'll want to have something to carry them in.

Schroeder:
[after everyone except Charlie Brown receives their valentines] Well, that's it. Happy Valentine's Day, everybody. Refreshments will be served in the back.

Charlie Brown:
Are you sure there's none for me?

Schroeder:
Yep, none.

Charlie Brown:
I guess I let Schroeder down, but it was my first valentine, you know.

Linus van Pelt:
I didn't do too well, either. Miss Othmar went off with her boyfriend. She never even knew I had a Valentine's gift for her.

Charlie Brown:
Well, maybe it wasn't a total flop for me. At least they *were* a showing a little thought for me, even if it was a used valentine. At least they care a *little* bit about me. Hey, maybe this is the start of a trend. Maybe this is a whole new trend for old Charlie Brown. Maybe this is the start of something big! Maybe next year I'll get a whole *bunch* of valentines! Maybe next year I'll need three briefcases instead of two! Maybe next year I'll even...

Linus van Pelt:
Happy Valentine's Day, Charlie Brown.

Charlie Brown:
I'd give *anything if that Little Red Haired Girl had sent me a valentine. Hey, maybe she *did* send me one. Maybe she *did* send me a valentine, and it didn't get here till today! Maybe it's in our mailbox right now! I'm afraid to look. If I look and there's nothing there, I'll be crushed. On the other hand, if she did send me a valentine... I've *got* to look! [he opens the mailbox eagerly, but Snoopy smooches him on the nose, then Snoopy closes the mailbox promptly as Charlie Brown rubs his nose disgustedly] I hate Valentine's Day.