Big Brown Eyes

Richard Morey:
Cortig, if you bought a gift for a girl and she refused to accept it, what would you do?

Russ Cortig:
[with a slow smile] I'd give it to my wife.

Danny Barr:
[stopping Eve from telephoning] Wait a minute, will you, honey? [Eve smacks his hand from the phone] Oh, how I wish you were a man!

Eve Fallon:
Same to you.

Benny Battle:
[In barber shop running his hand on the back of manicurist Eve Fallon] Eeny, meanie, mynie, mo. I'll take this one.

Eve Fallon:
Oh, so you're the guy who ran his thumb down my back.

Benny Battle:
Your truly, Benjamin Battle! How's it, Babe?

Eve Fallon:
How's it yourself?... I knew it was you. I know the feel of your fingerprints.

Benny Battle:
Ouch! Never say 'fingerprints' when I'm around. It gives me a sickly feeling.

Eve Fallon:
Yeah, I'd have a nasty answer for that if I wasn't workin' here. What can I do for you?

Benny Battle:
Oh, give me a manicure, but don't rush it. I'd like you to hold my hands.

Eve Fallon:
Oh! Too bad I can't work with my gloves.

Barber:
Well, well, Danny, what's the matter? Don't see you for a long time.

Benny Battle:
Well, they had me downtown for two weeks on a bum rap.

Eve Fallon:
Oh, poor kid! They blame you everything, don't they?

Benny Battle:
You sait it, Beautiful! The way the coppers treat me, you'd think I was a thief.

Eve Fallon:
Yeah! Police get some funny ideas sometimes.

Benny Battle:
Don't they though? And me as honest as the day is long.

Benny Battle:
Yeah, but how 'bout the nights?

Benny Battle:
The nights too! I'm the soul of honesty.

Eve Fallon:
You sure you don't mean 'the heel?'

Eve Fallon:
You'd lie about the weather!

Editor:
Wait! Wait!

Eve Fallon:
You wait... you look like a waiter anyway.

Benny Battle:
[at the barber shop] Every time I turn around I see another bull.

Benny Battle:
[Danny emerges from under a towel in the next chair] Well, if it isn't Daniel Barr, the handsome dick.

Danny Barr:
Gettin' yourself dolled up?

Danny Barr:
Yeah, there's nuttin' like spendin' a half hour in a barber shop that makes a new man out of ya.

Danny Barr:
When did ya get out outta the can?

Benny Battle:
About an hour ago, thanks to the habby-us corpus.

Danny Barr:
Yeah, and that shyster lawyer of yours.

Benny Battle:
I wouldn't talk like that. Ya might get pinched for slander.

Eve Fallon:
Yeah, and don't carry any matches; they're liable to charge you with arson.

Benny Battle:
Hey, Chalkie, get me a pineapple soda. Get me a big lump of whipped cream on it, and a nice red cherry. How's it, babe?

Danny Barr:
How d'ya like that chair?

Benny Battle:
I like it, 'specially when I'm tired.

Danny Barr:
Well, there's one upstate looks just like it. Ya wouldn't care for that one would ya?

Benny Battle:
No thanks. I'm not that tired.

[Morey sees Eve at the hotel drugstore counter buying aspirin. He enters and starts a conversation with her, finding out that she has just lost her manicurist job]

Richard Morey:
They have nice perfumes here.

Eve Fallon:
Yeah, if you can afford 'em.

Richard Morey:
Uh, how much are these?

Off-screen Sales Clerk:
Fifty-five dollars.

Richard Morey:
Give me four of them.

Eve Fallon:
Mmmmm. You must have lots of friends.

Richard Morey:
Oh, they're all for you.

Eve Fallon:
Oh, but I couldn't.

Richard Morey:
Oh, but you could.

Eve Fallon:
Oh, but I mustn't.

Richard Morey:
Oh, but you must. And you will. How about some candy, too? Here you are. You like sweets? [piling on the candy boxes] One more.

Eve Fallon:
Please! I'll have to get a truck to carry all these things home.

Richard Morey:
No, you won't. My car's right here at the door. [to the sales clerk] Charge it, will you?

[fade to the back seat of Morey's limo]

Richard Morey:
An apartment, French maid, your own car and chauffeur. Doesn't it sound good?

Eve Fallon:
[deadpan] Mmmmm. Too good to be true.

Richard Morey:
It... could be true.

Eve Fallon:
[sardonically] And all I'd have to do is manicure your nails?

Eve Fallon:
[getting up to leave] Here's my house.

Richard Morey:
But Eve, haven't you forgotten something?

Eve Fallon:
Yeah, my key, but I'll slip through the transom.

Richard Morey:
But what about the candy and perfume?

Eve Fallon:
Ah, give the candy to your chauffeur and use the perfume yourself.

[Eve slams the car door]