Big Love

Barb Henrickson:
But Bill's the hot dog man!

Nicolette Grant:
NO! WAYNE! Stop it! STOP IT!

Bill Henrickson:
Oh god, what is it? what is it?

Wayne Henrickson:
What is it?

Bill Henrickson:
Wayne... jus... come on... Nikki...

Nicolette Grant:
It's Grandma Ginger!

Wayne Henrickson:
She's dead.

Nicolette Grant:
Yeah and after she died she was burned and...

Bill Henrickson:
Nikki, please!

Nicolette Grant:
And that's what's left of her body!

Wayne Henrickson, Raymond Henrickson:
AHHHHHHH!

Nicolette Grant:
This guy from work? He's a real mover and a shaker, Wanda. He totally made up an excuse to call me yesterday. I think he was flirting with me... Do you think?

Wanda Henrickson:
Has he chased you at night? Has he tried to put you in the trunk?

Nicolette Grant:
He's not really like that. He wears cardigans.

Wanda Henrickson:
That sounds serious! You're a married woman, you can't be talking about another man's cardigans!

Wayne Henrickson:
He was really scary, mom

Nicolette Grant:
All Baptists are, honey.

Adaleen:
We all spend like there's no tomorrow, which we were told there wouldn't be on three occasions. But your father's revelations have been a *little* off the mark lately.

Wanda Henrickson:
I wouldn't let him [Frank] in your house if I were you. He makes Joey crazy, Bill hates him and he doesn't pee in the toilet.

Nicolette Grant:
Bill's not very good at lifting the seat either.

Wanda Henrickson:
No Kicki. He pees in the sink

Bill Henrickson:
You weren't evicted because you have four wives. You were evicted because the lousy scotch tape you wrapped around Nita's cord on her crock-pot made it explode causing a fire that burnt down two rooms.

Adaleen Grant:
We all spend like there is no tomorrow. Which we were told there wouldn't be on three occasions.

Lois Henrickson:
Hello dumb lizard. What are you looking at?

Lois Henrickson:
Sarah. Aren't you so thoughtful? You didn't used to be. When you were two you slapped me. I didn't like you for a very long time.

Nicolette Grant:
Frank, don't bark at Lois.

Bill Henrickson:
You don't look so good.

Joey Henrickson:
You look worse.

Lois Henrickson:
Lois Hendrickson: Why are you massaging that bird's anus with a q-tip?

Sarah Henrickson:
How's Seminary? Made friends with the other brainwashees?

Ben Henrickson:
Don't call them brainwashed.

Sarah Henrickson:
Why not?

Ben Henrickson:
I don't like it.

Sarah Henrickson:
Good. You still have an opinion.

[talking to Bill who is asleep]

Margene Heffman:
Hey? You awake? Maybe we could go to the movie theatre with the big chairs that rock back and forth? It's more expensive, but it's worth it. They serve salads. We need Windex.

Margene Heffman:
[telling her mother about Nicki and Barb, who she says are her neighbors] They're very conservative. We don't drink.

Virginia Ginger Heffman:
You're kidding! I brought 2 bottles of Stoli.

Margene Heffman:
[slightly shocked] I'm pregnant, Ma!

Virginia Ginger Heffman:
Just an old wives tale.

Wanda Henrickson:
[while calming handing Bill a gun in the lobby of a court house] This is your mother's. She was going to shoot the D.A.

Rhonda:
I believe obedience is our greatest freedom.

Lois:
And this new girl, this "Margene" you call her.

Bill Henrickson:
We call her Margene because that's her name!

Nicolette Grant:
Understand that there is nothing I wouldn't do to be apart of my family Margene. NOTHING!

Sarah Henrickson:
I don't wanna lose faith in this family!

Alby Grant:
The believers believe in me.

Bill Henrickson:
You'd do anything for his love. He's not worthy of it.

Sarah Henrickson:
I do not wanna lose faith in this family.

Adaleen Grant:
You're powerless because you're the fearful, closeted wife of a polygamist

Barb Henrickson:
[about Ben] I don't want his respect, I want his love.

Barb Henrickson:
Mormon culture is very self-reliant, so when she implied that you were a welfare cheat, that's where she would have been coming from. Still, how did that make you feel?

Dolores:
Not good.

Barb Henrickson:
How not good?

Dolores:
Hurt my feelings.

Barb Henrickson:
Good, Dolores. And did she have a right to say that?

Dolores:
No.

Barb Henrickson:
No, of course she didn't. And what would you want to say back to her?

Dolores:
You hurt my feelings.

Barb Henrickson:
Good, but it's so important everyone that we really get beneath the surface. If you could say anything you want back to her, Dolores, what would that be?

[Dolores hesitates]

Barb Henrickson:
It's all right.

Dolores:
F*** you.

Barb Henrickson:
Is that really what you want to say, Dolores? Or do you think that's the anger speaking?

Dolores:
No! F*** you, white b*tch! We have this piece of sh*t land. Get the f*** off it! Get out! Your religion's a cult and you're a bunch of hypocrites anyway!

Margene Heffman:
I don't even know his sizes. I am a terrible wife. I should have never married your father. And your mother.

Sarah Henrickson:
And Nicki.

Margene Heffman:
Especially Nicki.

Margene Heffman:
Bill, when I married into this family I guess I must have thought I was just marrying you. And now I realise I was marrying all of you. I was marrying sisters... my sisters. That was my choice, and I'd make that choice all over again right now. And I know, I know I've made a lot of mistakes lately, and... alright, maybe always... but I can get better. I will, because, because I wanna be with you guys forever too. Cause I love you guys and I need you guys. And I never ever wanted to not be in this family, here or in heaven.

Adaleen:
And what is it you've done?

Nicki Henrickson:
I owe sixty thousand dollars in credit cards.

Adaleen:
Yes, and?

Nicki Henrickson:
No "and", just that! I'm so bad.

Adaleen:
Yeah, so?

Nicki Henrickson:
I owe sixty thousand dollars in credit cards!

Adaleen:
I owe ninety. We needed a new bedroom when your father took Rhonda, I put it on my Discover. We all owe up to our necks. We all spend like there's no tomorrow - which we were told there wouldn't be on three occasions. But your father's revelations have been a little bit off the mark lately, and we're still here. So. See? Under the circumstances, it's excusable.

Nicki Henrickson:
Well, not down here it isn't. Here it's a really big deal. If Bill finds out he'll kick me out, I know he will. And why shouldn't he?

Adaleen:
That seems a bit harsh, Nicolette.

Nicki Henrickson:
I'm begging. Will you talk to Papa for me? He might listen to you.

Adaleen:
That's true. I'll take it under advisement.

Wanda Henrickson:
Joey, he's [Alby] a bad man. He's a kook.

Joey Henrickson:
What'd you use honey?

Wanda Henrickson:
Antifreeze but you said he was a menace and he is a menace.

Joey Henrickson:
You can't just go around trying to poison everyone who's mean to us. It's not good.

Sarah Henrickson:
You overheard something, and you've been fishing for days. Okay? I'm a polygamist. My parents are. So what?

Heather Tuttle:
I just wanted to let you know that I know. I just wanted to be friends.

Sarah Henrickson:
Yeah, well now that you know, what are you gonna do? Rat me out to your State Trooper father?

Heather Tuttle:
[flatly] Probably. You know, because I tell him everything. [Sarah stares in horror] Why does everyone think I don't have a sense of humor?

Barb Henrickson:
What are you doing?

Bill Henrickson:
Come on, baby - you remember. "Oral is moral."

Barb Henrickson:
That was the Eighties.

Donna:
There were some fine guys here earlier. I think they're gonna come back after closing.

Heather Tuttle:
They won't. You're a whore. They can smell is on you.

Nicki Henrickson:
I want my child raised in an environment where God hasn't been taken out of the schools.

Margene Heffman:
Me, Bill, Nicki. You, Bill, Nicki. Nicki, Bill, you on account of Nicki already being dead.

Barb Henrickson:
See. Simple, simple.

Nicolette Grant:
Is that Ben?

Margene Heffman:
And that Must be Brynn. What do we do?

Nicolette Grant:
This

[Nicki beeps the car horn]

Margene Heffman:
Nicki. Stop it.

[beeps again]

Margene Heffman:
Stop it.

[beeps again]

Margene Heffman:
Stop it.

Nicolette Grant:
This is why mothers shouldn't work

Margene Heffman:
We Don't work.

Nicolette Grant:
Barb should be at home.

Margene Heffman:
We're at home

Margene Heffman:
Hi. Ah we told your mum we'd pick you up. She had a ton of papers to grade.

Ben Henrickson:
Oh, ah, well... ok. Um, everybody this is Brynn.

Margene Heffman:
Hi.

Nicolette Grant:
I'm Lucy. This is Ethel.

Ben Henrickson:
These are my neighbours.

Margene Heffman:
So where can we take you Brynn?

Brynn:
Um, Sandy Points Drive off South State.

[Margie gestures toward the back seat of the car]

Brynn:
Thanks.

Margene Heffman:
Sorry about the sod.

Brynn:
That's ok.

Nicolette Grant:
Watch out for grubs.

Nicolette Grant:
So, we met Brynn.

Barb Henrickson:
You did?

Margene Heffman:
Yeah and she wants to meet you.

Barb Henrickson:
Well, I've set it up three different times with Ben, and every time he's weaselled out of it, so...

Nicolette Grant:
He's probably afraid for you to meet her.

[Margie whispers]

Margene Heffman:
They were kissing behind the track.

[Whispers softer]

Margene Heffman:
Really kissing.

Barb Henrickson:
So did you say something to him about it?

Nicolette Grant:
No, I'm not sure we share the same values on these things.

Rhonda Volmer:
Adaleen, did you take your vitamins?

Adaleen Grant:
Yes.

Rhonda Volmer:
Cause you forget.

Adaleen Grant:
Well I didn't.

[Rhonda leaves the room]

Nicolette Grant:
I don't know how you deal with her.

Adaleen Grant:
I love her, and we are all equals. But last night I did dream I was trying to push her out the car door while driving along at a pretty quick clip.

[talking about Nicki's will]

Adaleen Grant:
Nicolette, work it out. Be happy. You were always such a happy baby. Actually, no. That was Christa.

Margene Heffman:
I am happy. I love you both so much.

Nicolette Grant:
You're overheated. Put on a hat.