Big Top Pee-wee

Pee-wee:
I call it... the hot dog tree, because... it's a hot dog tree.

Vance:
So how was lunch?

Pee-wee:
Fine, let's go get something to eat.

Pee-wee:
[shouts impatiently] All I wanted was a measly sandwich! I very nicely explained that I was starving. I'm starving! PLEASE!

Mr. Ryan:
Sorry, ladies. I guess you'll just have to wait. You remember, no one is as important in this community as Pee-wee Herman. All you other shoppers will just have to play second fiddle to Pee-wee. I guess that's just the way things are around here. My whole purpose in life is to serve Pee-wee Herman. And everything else comes second! [finishes Pee-wee's sandwich] There's your sandwich. Is there anything else I can do for you, Pee-wee?

Pee-wee:
Well, I would like to have a pickle, if it's not too much trouble.

Mr. Ryan:
No! No trouble at all, Pee-wee. Sorry, Otis. Sorry, Deke. [opens a barrel, knocking over Otis and Deke's chess board; extracts a pickle and hands it to Pee-wee] Game's over. Pee-wee Herman wants a pickle. Here. Here's your darned pickle. Are you happy now?

Pee-wee:
Mmm-hmm.

[the sheriff enters]

Sheriff:
Listen up, everybody!

Mr. Ryan:
What's up, Sheriff?

Sheriff:
I just got a call from Porterville. There's a big storm headin' this way. You folks better get on home. Smilie, you start boardin' up the store.

Zelda:
[snaps her fingers to get a waitress' attention] Miss. Miss?! MISS! Miss, please, we're starving over here.

[the waitress walks up to other customers]

Duke:
Excuse me. We were here before them.

Zelda:
What do we have to do to get served over here?!

Duke:
I'm gonna take a bite outta that broad's bazoo if she doesn't get over here now!

Andy:
Down, Duke. Don't work yourself into a lather!

Vance:
Splendid! I'm very satisfied with these results, Pee-wee.

Pee-wee:
Me, too, Vance. If we keep going at this rate, people will only have to buy 1 tomato a year.

Vance:
We do not wanna end up with a low potassium level.

Pee-wee:
Duh, Vance. You'd think I never went to agricultural junior college!

Vance:
Sorry.

Pee-wee:
I'm on my way to a career in agriculture. I hope to be the next George Washington Carver. You know who George Washington Carver was, Mace?

Mace:
Yes, I do. First President of the United States.

Pee-wee:
(laughs) No. He was a scientist. His research as an agricultural chemist revolutionized farming. He was the father of the peanut. He discovered over 300 uses for it! Instant coffee, soap, and ink, to name just a few.

[Winnie's students are staring at Pee-wee and Winnie]

Pee-wee:
Why don't you take a picture? It'll last longer!

[the students whip out their cameras and take pictures of Pee-wee]

Pee-wee:
AAH! Paparazzi! [poses suggestively]

Winnie:
Oh, Pee-wee, really. Now, children, Mr. Herman and I would like to have a quiet lunch. Why don't you play with Vance?

Students:
Yes, Miss Johnson.

Andy:
You okay, boss?

Mace:
Well, my shins are banged up pretty bad. I think my ribs are broke, and it feels like I punctured a major organ, Andy. But I'm circus.

Pee-Wee Herman:
[sings] Pee-wee Herman had a farm, E-I-E-I-O!

Pee-Wee Herman:
[milks cow, tastes its milk] Mmm, chocolatey!

Pee-Wee Herman:
Look, Vance! The calilillies are in bloom again.