Blackadder Back & Forth

Blackadder:
And THAT

Blackadder:
is for Ken Branagh's endless, four-hour version of Hamlet.

William Shakespeare:
Who's Ken Branagh?

Blackadder:
I'll tell him you said that, and I think he'll be rather hurt...

Blackadder:
And here is a front page of Macbeth, signed by William Shakespeare himself.

Lady Elizabeth:

Darling:
Who?

Melchett:
Oh, come on, you know this... he's the fellow who invented the ball-point pen.

George:
Well you certainly won the bet, Blackadder. Here's your 10,000 francs...

Blackadder:
What do you mean, "francs?"

George:
What do you mean "What do I mean, 'francs'?"

Darling:
We've been using francs for over 200 years.

Melchett:
Yes, ever since Wellington lost the battle of Waterloo.

Blackadder:
Just one question... What makes you so great?

Robin Hood:
'Cos I'm ME, man.

Baldrick:
You know how when you're drowning, and your life flashes in front of your eyes? Well, what I was thinking is that you could dunk your head in a bucket of water and if you held it down till just before you died, you could see how the levers were and get us home.

Blackadder:
Excellent plan, Baldrick, with perhaps one slight modification...

Baldrick:
I'm 18, I've just left Nursery School. I'm 25, I'm back in Nursery School.

Blackadder:
Last one in gets hacked to death by Rod Stewart's great-great-grandfather.

Blackadder:
Sod off.

Baldrick:
I followed Mr Da Vinci's instructions to the letter.

Blackadder:
Even though you can't actually read.

Baldrick:
No, but I have done a lot of Airfix models in my time.

Blackadder:
You really are as thick as clotted cream, that's been left out by some clot, and now the clots are so clotted, you couldn't unclot them with an electric de-clotter, aren't you, Baldrick?

Blackadder:
May I present to you, the greatest breakthrough in travel since Sir Rodney Tricycle thought to himself, "I'm bored of walking. I think I'll invent something with three wheels and a bell, and name it after myself": the time machine.

Blackadder:
Baldrick, I have a very, very, very cunning plan.

Baldrick:
Is it as cunning as a fox what used to be Professor of Cunning at Oxford University but has moved on and is now working for the U.N. at the High Commission of International Cunning Planning.

Blackadder:
Yes it is.

Baldrick:
Hmm... that's cunning.