Blackballed: The Bobby Dukes Story

Sam Brown:
I'm number 2 because I'm the sh*t!

Eddie Reynolds:
Second place is first place for losers!

Jill Watson:
Sam Loves me, and Sam has always loved me, and you know that Sam was never actually dating me, but he remained celibate, the entire time that we weren't together? He would write me notes that I wouldn't respond to because I was dedicated to bobby, that would just say "I'm not f***ing anyone... but you in my head". And I thought, after awhile, how can I just reject that? That is just really, really, really dedication.

Bobby Dukes:
[with a bag placed over his head] Why does this bag smell like doughnuts?

Bill Henry:
That is the smell of death. That is the smell of the death of your failure. That is the smell of the death of your defeat. That is the smell of the death of your shame...

Bobby Dukes:
It smells like doughnuts.

Bill Henry:
Good work Muddogs. You feel that tingle in your gonads? Welcome to the next level. You have been bobbycied. You have been dukellated.

Bill Henry:
You have two days bobby dukes, to get yourself back on the saddle of your formal self. You will not achieve that goal by splashing around in the lower end of your pool of self esteem...

Bobby Dukes:
[under his breath] What does that mean?

Bill Henry:
Oh, Bobby Dukes, please kick their ass so hard that their ass goes up their own ass.

Bill Henry:
When we were formed on an atomic level, all these little tiny cells come together in a very very specific comibinion. [With fingers coming together] Boop boop boop; might become you. Boop boop boop; a different way might become me. Boop boop boop; another way might become Pat Sajack. Once every 10,000 years or so, these chromosomes come together in just a special way. When they came together that day, that was Bobby Dukes.