Blues Brothers 2000

Elwood Blues:
We've got to get off this road. They've called ahead by now and you can't outrun a Motorola.

Mighty Mack:
Great. They have automatic weapons. We have carpet tacks.

Elwood Blues:
There not carpet tacks. They're dry wall nails.

Elwood Blues:
Stay away from drugs, gangs, and cyberporn on the Internet and you can be President some day.

Queen Mousette:
You wish to enter the contest.

Mighty Mack:
We wish to win first prize!

Louisiana Gator Boys:
Look at 'em

Louisiana Gator Boys:
Hey man don't worry about it, we're gonna smoke them turkeys.

Robertson:
That's the International Jewish Communist conspiracy in action, people!

Elwood Blues:
Duck, give me a mountain tempo in A minor.

Elwood Blues:
The Lord works in mysterious ways.

Mother Mary Stigmata:
Before Curtis came to us at St. Helen of the Blessed Shroud he had a musical group that toured the joints of the Mid West. In one town Curtis had an affair... with a married woman.

Elwood Blues:
Go Curtis!

Elwood Blues:
I mean... that's terrible.

Mother Mary Stigmata:
That's what I thought you meant.

Cab Chamberlain:
I thought you said she was old and ugly.

Elwood Blues:
Ix-nay on the ugly-ay.

Elwood Blues:
Uh, is there anything in particular you would like to hear this evening, your highness?

Queen Moussette:
Yes. Do something Caribbean.

Elwood Blues:
Uh, ma'am, we're the Blues Brothers. We do blues, rhythm and blues, jazz, funk, soul, we can handle rock, pop, country, heavy metal, fusion, hip hop, rap, Motown, operetta, show tunes, in fact, we've even been called upon, on occasion, to do a polka. However, Caribbean is a type of music, I regret to say, which has not been, is simply not, nor will ever be a part of this band's repertoire.

Elwood Blues:
You may go if you wish. But remember this: walk away now and you walk away from your crafts, your skills, your vocations; leaving the next generation with nothing but recycled, digitally-sampled techno-grooves, quasi-synth rhythms, pseudo-songs of violence-laden gangsta-rap, acid pop, and simpering, saccharine, soulless slush. Depart now and you forever separate yourselves from the vital American legacies of Robert Johnson, Muddy Waters, Willie Dixon, Jimmy Reed, Memphis Slim, Blind Boy Fuller, Louis Jordan, Little Walter, Big Walter, Sonny Boy Williamson I and II, Otis Redding, Jackie Wilson, Elvis Presley, Leiber and Stoller, and Robert K. Weiss.

Donald "Duck" Dunn:
Who is Robert K. Weiss?

Elwood Blues:
Turn your backs now and you snuff out the fragile candles of blues, R&B and soul, and when those flames flicker and expire, the light of the world is extinguished because the music which has moved mankind through seven decades leading to the millennium will wither and die on the vine of abandonment and neglect.