Botched

Boris:
Moof!

Ritchie Donovan:
[seeing Peter holding the severed head of the hostage] Where's the rest of him Peter?

Peter:
He's back there where we came in. And don't f***ing look at me like that! I did not do it!

Ritchie Donovan:
Who did it then?

Peter:
It's obvious, f***ing pigs! They must not have liked your demands.

Ritchie Donovan:
I didn't make any demands! What do you think I'm f***ing stupid? Police don't kill hostages you idiot! Why, why'd you do it?

Peter:
Have you lost your mind? Listen, I take him to lift, the doors open, big scissors, head comes off, here it is!

Dmitry:
Let's go do the bastard!

Boris:
I am, what psychiatrists call, alpha male.

Dmitry:
[speaking into the intercom] Can anybody hear me? Can anybody hear me?

Fake Cop on Intercom:
Greetings comrade!

Dmitry:
Oh thank God! You have to get the police, various people are trying to kill me!

Fake Cop on Intercom:
What is your handle?

Dmitry:
[confused] Huh?

Fake Cop on Intercom:
I said, what is your handle?

Dmitry:
I don't have a handle, I don't have a handle!

Fake Cop on Intercom:
Oh you've got to have handle, mine is...

Dmitry:
I don't want to know your handle! Just listen! I got on this lift, and you're thinking, 'Hmm, normal passengers, ground floor please.' No, three of them had done a robbery and the rest of us were hostages. And things have changed since then, some of the hostages have taken over! Yeah, they tried to sacrifice me! Come back robbers, all is forgiven! And before I forget, there's also this psycho definite sex-criminal nut-job running around cutting people's heads off! I haven't had a chance to talk to him yet but I'm sure I will later.

Fake Cop on Intercom:
Do you want to know what my handle is?

Dmitry:
What? Didn't you hear a word I just said?

Fake Cop on Intercom:
Oh, if you don't want to know, I'll tell you anyway. My handle is 'ferret'

Dmitry:
[sighs loudly] Listen you weirdo, just phone the police! [Silence on the intercom] Hello? Ferret?

Yuri:
And the Almighty can do anything?

Sonya:
Yes, the Almighty is all powerful.

Yuri:
And he can't die?

Sonya:
Yes, Yuri. The Almighty is immortal.

Yuri:
So that means that he can't kill himself? Because if he can't kill himself, then that means he's not all powerful, doesn't it?

Sonya:
Hum... Why don't we go and ask him?

Security Guard:
There are bodies all over the shop! This is one sick bastard!

Boris:
[Holding the religious nutjobs at gunpoint] Now reach for the Almighty!