Braindead

Uncle Les:
Ahhh, so you found your father's old stag movies, didn't ya?

Mr. Matheson:
What we need is another war!

Lionel Cosgrove:
That's my mother you're pissing on.

Father McGruder:
Stand back boy! This calls for some divine intervention!

Paquita Maria Sanchez:
Your mother ate my dog!

Lionel Cosgrove:
Not all of it.

Lionel Cosgrove:
They're not dead exactly, they're just... sort of rotting.

Father McGruder:
I kick arse for the Lord!

Lionel Cosgrove:
Party's over!

Uncle Les:
Is that the one with the donkey and the chambermaid?

Zoo Keeper:
Story goes, these great big rats come scuttling off the slave ships and raped all the little tree monkeys

Father McGruder:
The Devil's among us!

[the Sumatran rat monkey bites Mum, and she crushes it with the heel of her stiletto]

Zoo Keeper:
Holy sh*t!

Mum:
Look at this! It bit me. I've been savaged! And my dress!

Lionel Cosgrove:
[as an excuse for punching Selywn and stuffing it into a bag] Hyperactive...

Stewart:
Listen! You no pick up the cage, you no get the big dollars.

Stewart:
I'm a New Zealand zoo official, and this monkey is going to Newtown!

Mr. Matheson:
[After pus from Vera's bite wound squirts into his custard] Damn fine custard... rich and creamy, just the way I like it!

Uncle Les:
Ahhh, so you found your father's old stag movies, did ya? [Pause] Is that the one with the donkey and the chambermaid?

Uncle Les:
She's history! I know what to do, I've read the comics! Total... bodily... dismemberment!

Uncle Les:
Step right up you greebo bastards!

Intellectual at party:
[struggling against an attack by Void] I take it back! [Void snarls] I'm sorry I called Nabokov a pedophile!

Intellectual:
[defending himself against oncoming zombies] Some of my best friends are Pedophiles! [His famous last words]

Undertaker:
[as Vera's eyes pop out and green slime sprays out] Cranial blowout!

Zombie Mother:
No one will ever love you like your mother!