Bugs Bunny's Mad World of Television

Porky Pig:
[stammers] But you can't quit, Bugs. You-you've made our network, er, uh, number one.

Bugs Bunny:
Sorry, pal, but what you need for a president is someone less sensitive than me.

Yosemite Sam:
[pounding his fist on Bugs's desk] I'm not sensitive about *nothin*'!

Bugs Bunny:
Someone not afraid to make raw decisions.

Yosemite Sam:
I'm about as raw as you're a-gonna get!

Yosemite Sam:
That fool made a fool outta me, but I've got another rotten idea. Network Sam never gives up!

Bugs Bunny:
[silences Sam's gunshots] Hold it, Sam. What if I make you a Vice President in charge of Specials?

Yosemite Sam:
Phew. It pays to be a good negotiator. [chuckles]

Bugs Bunny:
I dunno, Mr. Fudd. What is it that has four legs and flies?

Elmer Fudd:
A horse in summertime, stupid!

Bugs Bunny:
I give up, Mr. Fudd. Why is the state of Ohio different?

Elmer Fudd:
Because it's high in the middle and wound on both ends! O-HI-O!

Elmer Fudd:
Hey, pinhead, you know how to make Auntie fweeze?

Bugs Bunny:
Yeah, hide her nightgown!

Yosemite Sam:
Little does the varmit know I'm gonna be the head honcho around here! [laughs manically]

[last lines]

Porky Pig:
You know why I'll...

[stammers]

Porky Pig:
put you on as, uh, President, Sam?

Yosemite Sam:
[earnestly] Why?

Porky Pig:
[staring him in the face angrily] Uh, so as I can fire you!

[he kicks Sam out the window and he plummets into a fountain down below]

Yosemite Sam:
Now can you see why it's so lonely at the top?

Bugs Bunny:
[appearing at the fountain] And so wet at the bottom!

[laughs]

Elmer Fudd:
Tell us about your life, Bugs.

Bugs Bunny:
Oh... [chuckles shyly] I'm - I'm so unimportant.

Elmer Fudd:
Start from the beginning.

Bugs Bunny:
Well, in the beginning, there was no life. The earth was forming.

Elmer Fudd:
No, no, that's too far back!

Bugs Bunny:
[about to throw a pie in Elmer's face from behind a studio door] Remember, you're asking for it!

Elmer Fudd:
Yeah, I gotta find that wabbit or my caweer will be wuined.

Bugs Bunny:
Oh there you are. Where have you been? You're on in three minutes, you know; come on, come on, hurry!

[guides Elmer into the dressing room]

Elmer Fudd:
But - but I'm not...

Bugs Bunny:
[closing the dressing room door] Oh come on, come on now. Get in your costume. Hurry, hurry, hurry!

[angle change to Bugs watching Elmer undress]

Bugs Bunny:
Oh, hurry up!

[Elmer emerges from the room, wearing a rabbit costume]

Bugs Bunny:
Oh, how darling!

Elmer Fudd:
But I...

Bugs Bunny:
[guiding Elmer to the substage launch room] Quick now, right in there.