Burlesque

Sean:
[from trailer] So, is Ali short for anything?

Ali Rose:
Oh, yeah, it's short for Alice.

Sean:
Alice, hm? Well, welcome to Wonderland.

Tess:
[upon seeing a nauseous Georgia emerge from the bathroom stall] Oh, God, Georgia. Tell me you don't have the flu. [Georgia shakes her head and starts crying] Oh no... please have the flu!

Ali Rose:
If I'm not 20 times better than "b*obs for brains" over there, you don't have to pay me.

Ali Rose:
Where I come from friends don't chew on each others earlobes!

Marcus:
Aren't you glad you left?

Alexis:
Get a room!

Sean:
Get away!

Ali Rose:
Hey! I'm talking to you!

Nikki:
How come I don't have a nickname?

Scarlett:
Oh,you do.

Nikki:
Well he never uses it.

Sean:
Oh,I do.

Nikki:
When?

[walks down stairs]

Sean:
When you leave the room!

[whispers]

Sean:
Slut!

Nikki:
I heard that!

Tess:
You didn't tell me you could sing like that!

Tess:
They'll come to hear HER sing.

Nikki:
I will not be upstaged by some slut with mutant lungs.

Ali Rose:
Jack, why did you leave Kentucky?

Jack:
Well, why did you leave Iowa?

Ali Rose:
Because I looked around and realized there wasn't one person whose life I wanted.

Jack:
Exactly.

Tess:
[Ali is auditioning] Hey Dave, cut it.

Ali Rose:
H-hold on a second, I can do this!

Tess:
And I think that it's sweet that you think that you can.

Nikki:
[annoyed] Didn't your mama ever tell you it's not polite to stare?

Ali Rose:
You-You're just so damn beautiful, I...

Nikki:
Well in that case, screw your mama and stare away.

Ali Rose:
No one would *ever* know.

Nikki:
Know what?

Ali Rose:
That you're a dude.

Nikki:
What the hell is that waitress doing here? I want that b*tch *out*.

Sean:
And what did she *ever* do to you?

Nikki:
She said I looked like a drag queen!

Sean:
Well, that can't be the first time that's happened before.

Sean:
[talking about the money Tess needs to save the club] It's just money. It's just a number.

Tess:
I know, but... do you think I could do it? [Sean shakes his head]

Tess:
Tell me a lie.

Sean:
I need your expert sewing skills.

Tess:
Tell me a *new* lie.

Sean:
I don't love you.

Nikki:
I don't get why everyone's having a conniption over her, she's just a tacky farm girl from Iowa.

Ali Rose:
And we know a cow when we see one. Don't underestimate us farm girls.

Sean:
[talking about Ali's audition] Well, I couldn't keep my eyes off her.

Tess:
Try harder.

Vince:
I may not be "Mr. Tess" anymore, but I still own half this place.

Tess:
Mr. Tess? [pause] That is *so* hot.

Vince:
Nice. But it won't pay the bills.

Tess:
He didn't even look me in the eye! He just sat there playing with his wooden thingy on his desk.

Sean:
What thingy?

Tess:
The long wooden block thingy.

Sean:
The nameplate?

Tess:
Yeah. Nameplate.

Vince:
Have you read this letter from the bank?

Tess:
Vincent. How many times have I told you? No business during business hours.

Alexis:
We may not have windows, but we do have the best view on Sunset Strip. Twenty bucks.

Ali Rose:
What is this place... a strip club?

Alexis:
Strip club? Honey, I should wash your mouth out with J?germeister. The only Pole you'll find in there is Natasha, the short girl.

Jack:
Where're you from?

Ali Rose:
Iowa.

Jack:
Kentucky. We're practically related.

Ali Rose:
Thought you looked familiar.

Ali Rose:
Who does a girl have to flirt with to get from here... to up there? [points to dance stage]

Jack:
Is this you flirting?

Ali Rose:
[laughs] With someone wearing more eyeliner than me? Yeah.

Jack:
Through that door over there. Ask for Tess. She's your guy. Flirt away.

Vince:
This isn't going away. You won't talk to me before the show, you won't talk to me after the show. It's like you're avoiding me.

Tess:
Well, I didn't divorce you to spend more time with you.

Tess:
And don't ever go behind my back again.

Ali Rose:
Yes, ma'am.

Tess:
And don't ever call me ma'am again.

Ali Rose:
Yes, sir. Errr... I mean, ma'am... I mean, Tess.

Tess:
Get on the floor. [to Sean] "Ma'am"? What am I, my mother?

Sean:
Yes, ma'am.

Tess:
Up yours.

Marcus:
You know, not that I give a sh*t, but why is it that you want my club so badly?

Marcus:
I like it. When I see something I like, I have to have it. Been that way since I was a kid.

Tess:
That must have made you very popular in the sandbox.

Marcus:
[grins] I did okay.

Vince:
Do you know what you could do with that money, Tess?

Tess:
Do you know what *you* could do with that money, Vince?

Vince:
Not now...

Tess:
Don't "not now" me.

Marcus:
Remember, you got that balloon payment due on the first.

Tess:
[annoyed, to Vince] Did you also tell him I have a tattoo on my ass?

Vince:
[earnestly] No... it's business.

Marcus:
I don't think you're gonna get another opportunity like this. So take it.

Tess:
[after some contemplation, then firmly] No.

Vince:
[quickly, to Marcus] She means not now.

Tess:
No, no. "Not now" means not now, Vince. "No" means no. Marcus, I don't care what you're offering. My club is not for sale.

Ali Rose:
Morning! Coffee?

Jack:
Black. Like my soul.

Ali Rose:
I took the liberty of making breakfast. I hope you don't mind. It's the least I could do.

Jack:
Smells great.

Ali Rose:
[referring to photo at kitchen counter] She's pretty. Your sister?

Jack:
Fianc?e.

Ali Rose:
You're straight?

Jack:
You thought I was gay?

Ali Rose:
Yeah.

Jack:
Wait, why?

Ali Rose:
I don't know. The day bed... the eyeliner...

Jack:
It's a very straight look. You know, it works at the club, Tess loves it...

Ali Rose:
Okay. I should put on some pants.

Jack:
Probably.

Marcus:
Wow. I can't believe Tess has you buried in the kick line.

Ali Rose:
She didn't know I sang.

Marcus:
Well, you certainly can. And you are way too good to be doing it here.

Ali Rose:
Wait a minute... [incredulously] You had to make an appearance at your own party?

Marcus:
Would've been rude not to, right?

Ali Rose:
Oh wow... L.A. looks gorgeous from up here.

Marcus:
That view cost me three times what the house did. See that strip mall down there?

Ali Rose:
You own that too?

Marcus:
No. I own everything above it.

Ali Rose:
There is nothing above it.

Marcus:
Exactly.

Ali Rose:
[sardonically] So you own air.

Marcus:
Air rights. The guy that owns the strip mall ran into some money issues, almost had to sell. Whoever he sold it to would've put up a huge tower. So I bought the air rights. Now, no one can ever build above one storey.

Ali Rose:
Well, aren't you clever.

Marcus:
Mall guy gets to keep his property, I get to keep the second best view in L.A.

Ali Rose:
What's the first?

Marcus:
[gazes silently and steadily at Ali, while sipping wine]

Ali Rose:
[rolls eyes] Ugh... How many girls have you used that line on?

Marcus:
None ever who called me on it.

Jack:
I'm just saying. Life is about the choices you make.

Ali Rose:
The choices I make? You're a bartender-slash-piano player, who writes songs that are never ready.

Jack:
Oh, I uhm... I finished a song. I think it's pretty good.

Ali Rose:
[chuckles] Can I hear it?

Jack:
No. But... [pause, handing Ali a songsheet] you can sing it.