Cannonball!

[the LAPD is on its way down to Santa Monica Pier]

Brad Phillips:
Attention! Attention right now, drivers! The police are on their way to bust the race. The post time has been moved up to exactly 60 seconds from now.

Beutell:
Oh, sh*t!

Brad Phillips:
Every highway patrolman from here to Philadephia will be out to nail ya. I'd advise you all to stick to the back roads as much as possible. Gentlemen, start your engines!

TV Producer:
We're trying to get a word here with Brad Phillips, organizer of the race. Brad, tell me, your race has been called an outlaw sporting event. Do you have any comment on that?

Brad Phillips:
Well, the police and safety officals around the country get upset because our drivers tend to exceed the speed limits.

TV Producer:
Are you saying you're promoting illegality?

Brad Phillips:
Well, no, no. I didn't say that.

TV Producer:
Hi, Dennis Caldwell here at the Santa Monica Pier in sunny Southern California. For the last three, the appearance of this cryptic ad in Motorist Magazine signals the running of the Trans-American Grand Prix auto race. This underground sporting event is open to anyone holding a valid license, driving any kind of four-wheel, land-based vehicle. Contestants choose any cross-country route they wish, and there is $100,000 waiting for the sweat-drenched, hi-test hot rodder who gets his ticket stamped first at a certain garage of New York City's Lower West Side.