Captain Nice

Mayor Finney:
General, do you think you'll be able to stop it?

General Rock Ravage:
Do you want a straight answer without any hedging?

Mayor Finney:
[swallows hard] Yes.

General Rock Ravage:
Maybe, maybe not.

General Rock Ravage:
Time's not the answer here, boy! It's bombs!

Dr. Von Keppel:
I am a scientist, and if it's one thing I don't joke about, it's caterpillars!

Crook #1:
The first guard comes out in five minutes to make an outside check. You smash him over the head with this pipe. I'll take care of the dynamite. When the second guard comes out at midnight, you jump him and knock him out. If anyone else gets in your way, use your guns or your knives. But remember one thing.

Crook #2:
What's that?

Crook #1:
No violence!

Carter's Mother:
That's dandy; other mothers have sons that invent steamboats and telephones and things. Mine invents a lettuce machine.

Captain Nice:
This is a democracy, Mr. Ibid. We can arrest people for practically anything.

Carter Nash:
When I was a little kid, I was afraid of the dark.

Sgt. Candy Kane:
Oh, every little kid's afraid of the dark.

Carter Nash:
During the day?

Carter's Mother:
Parakeets have feelings, too.

Chief Segal:
There's a would-be killer up there! Somebody get the police!

Mayor Finney:
You are the police!

Chief Segal:
I certainly got here fast.

Carter Nash:
What you're proposing is illegal, immoral and just plain rotten!

Sheik Abdul:
Sopar, you know what to do. If he gives you any trouble at all, reduce him to a memory! If he behaves himself, kill him!

Boyfriend:
It's the man who flies like an eagle!

Woman:
It's the man with muscles of lead!

Artist:
It's the masked enemy of all evil!

Boy:
Are you kidding? It's some nut in his underwear.

Father:
That's no ordinary nut, son. That's Captain Nice!